Motion filed by Defendant as retaliation

[awaitingjustice]

thank you for all your guidance in the past-  here is a new question-just to recap
 ex-Wife and child are in NJ
 Custody is joint legal in NJ
 I reside in Texas

Recently I have been forced to file 4 motions, over 2 1/2 years to assert my rights, contact, visitation, counseling etc.  In all but a few instances all of my requests have been granted and Defendant (ex) was found in contempt and ordered to do what she was previously ordered to do, with only sime minor financial penalties imposed.

The last motion was heard and filed just this Aug 2006.  I was seeking additional counseling, based on a voicemail she left on my machine- where she forgot to hang up- in it she can be heard saying all sorts of horrible things ot my son.  In the motion she had to provide proof of attending counseling, as I was asking for her to attend the counseling from 2005.  She provided this proof and the judge felt it was sufficient.  So no additional counseling was granted- not sure if he actually listened to the CD file.

A motion was filed by Defendant and I just received my copy- in it she asks
...require mandatory psychological counseling for the Plaintiff, at the Plaintiff's expense, due to the Plaintiff's increasingly paranoid behavior, fabrication of stories and persistent harrassment.

...to require the Plaintiff to provide me with proof of his counseling, as he has requested of me with several of his prior motions.

...to order the Plaintiff to abstain from harrassing my family and myself, whether through the US Postal service, e-mail or telephone.


She is clearly asking for this motion as retaliation for not getting the previous orders to go her way and having to grant me access to our son, against her wishes...

How do I ask the court to not grant it, based on it being retaliatory- and in the Defendant's interest not in our son's?

Her claims of fabrication of stories, paranoid behavior and persistent harrassment are unfounded and she presents a few random emails- all of which do not substantiate her claims.  I had, in the past, recorded her telephone calls because she flip flopped her stories so frequently- but I have not done so in the last 6 months or so and I am not sure if the facts on those tapes are usable to any degree..are they??

She is calling certified mail harrassment- how do I handle this?  

She returns just about everything- I only send the following:  court motions, change of address, change of employment, change of insurance and IF she hangs up on me by telephone or refuses email- which she does- then I send my response via USPS.  I do not see it as harrassment, but I do not know how the courts look at things, and this is NJ, and I know you are very candid re NJ-

So let me hear it- the Good the Bad and the Ugly- whatever it may be!

Thanks

[socrateaser]

>She is clearly asking for this motion as retaliation for not
>getting the previous orders to go her way and having to grant
>me access to our son, against her wishes...

Try not to formulate conclusions using the word "clearly." Nothing is ever "clearly" anything in the law, and as soon as you start to believe that it is, you can't think unemotionally about possible counterarguments to your opponent's pleading, because you can't understand how anyone could not see how "clearly" everything points to supporting your position.

>
>How do I ask the court to not grant it, based on it being
>retaliatory- and in the Defendant's interest not in our
>son's?

The question is: how do any of the other parent's allegations affect the child's best interests? The only relevant question is: how is your relationship with your child? If it's good, then you don't need counseling. If it's bad, then maybe you do.

I can't get more specific, unless you post the exact text of the other parent's motion, so I can read each allegation.

>Her claims of fabrication of stories, paranoid behavior and
>persistent harrassment are unfounded and she presents a few
>random emails- all of which do not substantiate her claims.  I
>had, in the past, recorded her telephone calls because she
>flip flopped her stories so frequently- but I have not done so
>in the last 6 months or so and I am not sure if the facts on
>those tapes are usable to any degree..are they??

Relevant evidence should be proximate in time, place and event. The less proximate, the less relevant. However, evidence of past similar occurances may be relevant to proving habit. You will need recordings of at least 5 prior events, just like what you're alleging now -- otherwise the court will not view the other parent's behavior as reflexive/automatic/habitual.

>
>She is calling certified mail harrassment- how do I handle
>this?  

I would simply state that certified mail is a reasonable means of contacting the other party so as to obtain relevant proof of receipt, and that unless the contents of the letters are harrassing, there the court should view this specific allegation as frivolous and intended to harrass you and waste the court's valuable time.

>
>She returns just about everything- I only send the following:
>court motions, change of address, change of employment, change
>of insurance and IF she hangs up on me by telephone or refuses
>email- which she does- then I send my response via USPS.  I do
>not see it as harrassment, but I do not know how the courts
>look at things, and this is NJ, and I know you are very candid
>re NJ-

The question is simply: what do your letters say? If they are harrassing in content, then you have a problem -- otherwise, this is a frivolous charge against you and even an NJ judge will scoff at it.

[awaitingjustice]

Thanks Soc-

You wrote:  I can't get more specific, unless you post the exact text of the other parent's motion, so I can read each allegation.


The Defendant is the custodial parent who filed, I am the Plaintiff-


Her filing was as follows:

The Defendnat is asking the Court to require mandatory psychological counseling for the Plaintiff, at the Plaintiff's expense, due to the Plaintiff's increasingly paranoid behavior, fabrication of stories and persistent harassment.

The Defendant is asking the Court to require the Plaintiff to provide me with proof of his counseling, as he hsa requested of me with several of his prior motions.

The Defendant is asking the court to order the Plaintiff to abstain from harassing my family and myself, whether through the US Postal service, email or telephone.

That is the Motion. Followed by about 40 pages of Exhibits- including the Filed Motions, as Exhibits of harassment.

In her certification she uses as examples of harassment my letters to our child's doctors and school requesting access to his records.  I used the sample letters on the SPARC website.  She refers to these letters as harassing and threatening in tone and that I am attempting to tell the practitioner how he/she will conduct her business affairs.

She also uses as examples of harrassment my letters to advise of change of residence or change of employment, which are required my law.

She also uses as harassment if I call the house on more than one occassion, after she has hung up on me, in an attempt to complete a conversation (I usually make two attempts- after which I put the issue in writing and send it by USPS)  She considers these mailings harassment.

What she fails to provide to the court, which I will provide is HER request that I put everything in writing, via e-mail.  Then 2 months later she e-mails that she has no access to e-mail so all writing must be via USPS, she will no longer communicate by telephone. (I do have this all in  her writing)

My question re the counseling was answered in your last response- my relationship with my son is fantastic- so that point should be moot.

However, re the harassment- you answered this well and I feel I have done nothing to warrant anyone calling my letters harassing in any way shape or form....but will the court look at what she is doing as harassing me?  Our last order was signed only 3 weeks ago, Aug 2.  Nothing has changed since that time.

Finally- What do you know about Parental Coordinators?

I am considering to ask the court to appoint one, as we do not seem to be able to agree on what color the sky is- and now our son will soon be choosing high schools then colleges (and already she is excluding me from any input), she has already indicated to family members she will refuse Holiday visitation in 2006-07 (Thanksgiving/Easter) and will offer no compensatory time.  Would Parental Coordinators be a better solution?

Do they work with in/out of state co parents??

Do they work with Pro Se litigants?

Is the usual fee structure 50/50?  And what happens if one party uses the system continually to run up bills- can the fee structure be altered?

From what I find this is a newer program in NJ, and they are still piolt programming it- so I have no idea how receptive the court would be to the idea, do you?

Apologize for the many questions- I value  your guidance-

Thanks

[socrateaser]

>What she fails to provide to the court, which I will provide
>is HER request that I put everything in writing, via e-mail.
>Then 2 months later she e-mails that she has no access to
>e-mail so all writing must be via USPS, she will no longer
>communicate by telephone. (I do have this all in  her
>writing)

OK, this seems to be a good way to rebut the allegations. Just tell the court that you don't understand why Defendant is complaining about your communicating with her via the method she expressly requested (attach exhibit). And then say something about certain correspondence being court ordered, and thus non-optional (attach exhibit).

Then say, "Because Defendant's allegations appear to be without merit, I hereby request that the instant motion be denied, and that Defendant be admonished not to use the court as a means of punishing for attempting to have a reasonable relationship with our minor child."

Or something like that. Don't get high and mighty. You must seem totally reasonable, and act as though this is a silly misunderstanding, due to the unreasonable emotions of your ex. You want the court to think she's nuts, without your suggesting it.

>Finally- What do you know about Parental Coordinators?

Nothing. You need your ex to recognize that you have rights and that she must accomodate you. I don't think any mediation will work, based on your posts. But, that doesn't mean you might not be able to get a good third party witness via retaining a coordinator or some other professional. It won't be cheap, and it may be a total waste of resources.