In desperate need of help!

[J.B.]

9 years ago after I told my ex husband I wanted a divorce. He ran down and got temparary custody of my three sons. I have never worked due to having cerebral palsy from born. When he filed, then there I was stuck here In Texas with no family here to help or support me(I was born and raised in Maryland).

   I didnt know my rights and had no money for a attorney. We agreed that we would have joint custody but for my ex to have primary custody but that we would get the children equal time.My ex agreed that since I have never worked that no child support would be ordered and that he would pay 100% of health care on the children. He also said he wouldnt move out of the county we was living in because he wanted the boys to graduate from the same school he did.

   Well after signing the papers and then came home it was read to me that he only had to stay in this county for year. Although I felt like I was mislead by him, I really didnt believe he would move the children, because we had always talked throughout our marriage about raising the children here. At that time we lived about 10 miles away and transportation wasnt a problem, even though I have never been able to drive due to my disability.

     The school was right up the road and the bus would drop them off here every Thursday after school. On the 1st, 3rd, and 5th thursdays , I wouldnt have to return them til monday morning when the bus arrived to pick them up.Then on the 2nd and 4th Thursdays, I would receive the boys after school and they would spend the night with me and I would put them on the bus Friday(not to see them again til the following Thursday).

    After one year, sure even, I received a certified letter saying he was moving 45 miles away to another county. By that time I was married and my new husband(who is receiving SSI). With my money situation still bad, I didnt think I could walk in the court house and ask them to order my ex not to move or even order him to help with the driving.

    Since on the decree it clearly stated that in the event the children was out of school when it was my time to get them then it would be my responsability to pick them up. Then in one part it said that this is the order for parents living within 100 miles apart.

   So  for the past 8 years my current husband has been doing 100% of the driving. I only get them on 1st, 3rd, and 5th Fridays now since I cant afford to pick them up on Thursday(like ordered in the decree) drive 90 miles round trip home turn back around Friday morning and drive them to school just to pick them up again Friday afternoon to have them the whole weekend(that would be around 360 miles of travel for a weekend visit, with no help in the driving from my ex).

    Well a few years ago I started receiving SSI along with my current husband in which we have been penalized for being married in turn makes us to receive only 904.00 as our total income. My ex started enrolling the children in sports activities. When he did that he expected  me to skip my weekends with no offer to trade weekends. Well I refused to allow that to get inbetween me and my children. They would just miss their games on that weekend.

   Now I know that was wrong, but my feelings has allows been that 4 days a month with their mother is more important then 1 game of ball.Well now my 14 yr old is in the ninth grade and in the marching band. I know hes earning credits and thats very important for his future. Then we found out my current husband has liver disease and is now on the transplant list. Well when school started this yr I called my ex and told him that I had no problem with my son marching in the school band.

   I told him that my problem was that I can barely afford to come get the boys now and that I simply cant afford to come pick up the 2 other boys, come home and wait 7 or 8 hrs and go pick up the other son. I explained to my ex about my current husband's health problem and told him that he is getting worse everyday. I ask my ex if he would help with the driving. He said he would bring me my one son to me after marching on fridays.

   He said he would do this during the marching season and then after that he would not help at all. Well 10 days after this conversation I was served with papers(Sept 11th which is one of my sons birthday). The paper say he is taking me to court to have things modified. He wants the case moved to his county. He wants me to pay child support and 1/2 health care on the boys. He also wants the visitation modified because he says I am failing to allow my children to particapate in extracurricular actitivities.
 
   I called Legal Aid and they helped me prepare a answer in which I ask that he do the driving and that he has failed to comply with the 100% of health care because he wouldnt get my son brace(who needs them badly) and his excuse for not getting the children braces was because it would interfer with my son being able to play the horn in the school band.
 
  After that legal aid said that the court would grant him to move the case because the children have been living in that county for atleast 6 months. Legal Aid said that once it would be moved to that county then I would have to go through another branch of legal aid.Well I got the letter from the court saying it was moved to his county. I called legal aid in that county and then received a letter from them saying they have ran out of funds and cant help me.

  I called SSI and they said that in the state of Texas they cant ganish my SSI for child support or health care for the boys. I am in no way trying to get out of my responsiblity for these boys but I cant even pay my own bills, there are alot of times I have to ask organazations for the disabiled to help with my utlitities.

   I dont have 1400.00 to give to a lawyer to help me with this so I am stuck representing myself. I am a complete dumbbie when it comes to the law and I dont know my rights and he has hired the former District Attorney for that county as his attorney. I would like to have my ex do the driving. I also want to fight for custody of my 2 younger sons.

Here are my Questions to you:
1.What are my chances of gaining custody of my 2 younger sons?

2.  What are my rights of visitation, can he legally take the only 4 days a month that I get with my boys?

3.Is there any way that a judge will order him to do all the driving or atleast some since my current husband and I are both disabled and my current husband has been doing all the driving in the past 8 yrs.?

4. Where(a website or something) can I go to get educated on represent myself.


I am need of help badly. I apologize for this being so longggggg. I just wanted you to know everything I have faced so that you could help me in the best way. Thank you for your time, its greatly appreciated.

[socrateaser]

>Here are my Questions to you:
>1.What are my chances of gaining custody of my 2 younger
>sons?

Zero. You have to demonstrate some substantial change in the children's lives, and based on your posted facts, no such change has occurred.

>2.  What are my rights of visitation, can he legally take the
>only 4 days a month that I get with my boys?

Your rights are exactly what the orders say they are. If you are entitled to 4 days, then that' what you get. If it's more, then that's what you get.

Obviously, things have changed with respect to the move, and the court should modify the current schedule to reflect that change. Since you permitted the move without any argument to exist for a year, you will now have to live with the current arrangements as being presumtively correct. So, figure out what will be a workable visitation/custody schedule under the new circumstances. If you don't and can't agree with your ex, then the court will order something that you will probably like even less.

>
>3.Is there any way that a judge will order him to do all the
>driving or atleast some since my current husband and I are
>both disabled and my current husband has been doing all the
>driving in the past 8 yrs.?

Unlikely. 50/50 is more like it.

>
>4. Where(a website or something) can I go to get educated on
>represent myself.

No such website exists, to my knowledge. You may as well be asking where you can educate yourself to perform open heart surgery.

Most people come here, because they find that I have the best info available for those who wish to self represent.

One thing you should know: usually if you can show that your income is below the federal poverty line, the court will give you a break on your support obligation, so that you can continue to survive. So, be prepared to demonstrate that your income is below that threshold level and that you have no reasonable likelihood of being able to increase it (because of your disability).

[J.B.]

  Dear Socarteaser
   
   First off I want to thank you for the help you have given me. Although I wasnt completely pleased with everything you had to say. I have to face the facts!

  I had ask in my previous post if the judge was going to take my 4 days a month away or reduce them and you said you get what you get and I might not like what the judge does with that.I also mentioned that my son is in band but forgot to ask you about that.
   
   My Questions to you is;
 1. since I am only getting about 4 days a month, will the judge reduce my time?

2. What will happen with the situation of my marching in the band? Will the judge say , oh well you just cant see him anymore until the marching season is over?

3. With my ex have the former assistant DA of that county  as his attorney will the judge likely rule more so in my ex's favor because of the attorney he has?


  I know you dont have all the answers in the world but your opinion is greatly appreciated and you time is equally appreciated. Thanks for everything!!!!

[socrateaser]

>   My Questions to you is;
> 1. since I am only getting about 4 days a month, will the
>judge reduce my time?

Highly unlikely, unless you are doing something that makes you a danger to the child.

>
>2. What will happen with the situation of my marching in the
>band? Will the judge say , oh well you just cant see him
>anymore until the marching season is over?

You should be trying to negotiate a settlement with the other parent, so the judge doesn't have to decide. I would guess that the judge would try to schedule some time when there is no band, but you may not get many hours with the child as a result.

>
>3. With my ex have the former assistant DA of that county  as
>his attorney will the judge likely rule more so in my ex's
>favor because of the attorney he has?

If you believe that there is bias, then you should ask the judge to disqualify him/herself from your case.