Denial Of Holiday Visitation....

[gabes_mom]

I am the NCP and reside in NC, CP and children reside in PA, Deisgnated meeting spot is VA.  NC holds jurisdiction over case.

Holiday Visitation Guidelines:

Thanksgiving= even number years children are to be with the NCP from 2pm on the day before Thanksgiving until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

Christmas= every year children are to be with the NCP from 2pm on December 26th until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

NCP and CP are to meet at designated meeting spot on above days at above times.

My problem is the CP is pregnant and has a C-Section Scheduled for Dec. 7th.  She has informed me that she won't be meeting me in VA for the Thanksgiving or Christmas visitation times.  Her reasoning was it isn't safe for her to travel during Thanksgiving and her doctor has adviced her not to do anything for 4 weeks after the baby (which is by her new husband not me) is born which blocks out Christmas as well.

She has told me that if I want to see my kids I could drive up to PA both holidays and get them and bring them back to PA at the end of the allowed visitation times.  I have suggested that since she is obligated per the court order to provide transportation for the children that maybe the children's new step father will step up and carry out her obligation.  She has told me that wouldn't be happening because her husband had to work.  

After this conversation last night with my ex (half of this conversation was recorded on my answering machine)we are still at an impass.  I can not financially make the trip to PA (and even if I could she has already said that she would not be willing to pay for half of the expenses).

The letter of intent to exercise court ordered visitation has been mailed out today certified and a copy has been sent to the court clerk to be placed in the court file.

Questions:

1) Since my ex has told me that she won't be meeting me in VA (I have this recorded as proof) Do I still have to make the trip to VA?

2)When can I file for contempt of court? Does it have to wait until after the date we are supposed to meet?

3) Since half of the conversation was recorded on the answering machine and you can hear me state this, I should be safe with the laws in both states about recording someone right?  If not which states law would be upheld?

4) At what point do I send the Denial of Visitation Letter?

5) Since my ex was recorded while saying she won't be meeting me for Christmas visitation when should I file for contempt of court for denial of my Christmas visitation?  Could this matter be handled at the same time as this Thanksgiving issue?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1) Since my ex has told me that she won't be meeting me in VA
>(I have this recorded as proof) Do I still have to make the
>trip to VA?

If your ex can get a doctor's note stating that travel will endanger the health of mother or child, then she will not be in willful and conscious disregard of the court orders by not meeting in VA.

So, if you want to see your kids, then my advice is for you to pay the cost of transport, even if this means hiring a limo or putting them on a plane. Then, ask the court to order reimbursement from the other parent. You can file your request now, even though the contempt hasn't taken place yet, based upon your ex's statements that she won't bring the kids or pay half the cost to send them. So, you make all the arrangements, pay the cost, and then file for the reimbursement.

The combination of your ex's refusal to pay and your actually paying is sufficient to show that you detrimentally relied on your ex's prior statements, and that she has been unjustly benefited by not having to pay for transportation, and that you sufferred the expense which she should have born.

It's pretty much open and shut. So, pull out your credit card and pay for the kids. You should get your attorney fees, interest expense, etc., all reimbursed.

I don't know what you sent in your "letter" to exercise custody, but you should have sent a letter stating to the effect that "As you have indicated that you will neither bring the kids to the meeting point or pay the cost of their transportation, I have made the following travel arrangements and I will expect reimbursement from you. I don't wish to make this an adversarial situation, however, if you refuse to reimburse me for the transportation arrangements, I will have no choice but to take appropriate legal action to recover my costs."

>
>2)When can I file for contempt of court? Does it have to wait
>until after the date we are supposed to meet?

You will lose a contempt action based on her not appearing in VA. It's the wrong approach for the situation.

>
>3) Since half of the conversation was recorded on the
>answering machine and you can hear me state this, I should be
>safe with the laws in both states about recording someone
>right?  If not which states law would be upheld?

The law that counts is the state with jurisdiction, because if that state's evidence law will keep out the recording, then nothing else matters. Nevertheless, if you send the letter as I recommend above, the recording will be irrelevant.

>
>4) At what point do I send the Denial of Visitation Letter?

You're talking about form documents provided by SPARC. I have no  knowlege of, nor do I endorse, anything appearing on the SPARC website. SPARC merely provides me this web space for my pro bono activities -- other than that, we have no association whatsoever.

>
>5) Since my ex was recorded while saying she won't be meeting
>me for Christmas visitation when should I file for contempt of
>court for denial of my Christmas visitation?  Could this
>matter be handled at the same time as this Thanksgiving
>issue?

See above.

[gabes_mom]

>If your ex can get a doctor's note stating that travel will
>endanger the health of mother or child, then she will not be
>in willful and conscious disregard of the court orders by not
>meeting in VA.
>
>So, if you want to see your kids, then my advice is for you to
>pay the cost of transport, even if this means hiring a limo or
>putting them on a plane. Then, ask the court to order
>reimbursement from the other parent. You can file your request
>now, even though the contempt hasn't taken place yet, based
>upon your ex's statements that she won't bring the kids or pay
>half the cost to send them. So, you make all the arrangements,
>pay the cost, and then file for the reimbursement.
>
>The combination of your ex's refusal to pay and your actually
>paying is sufficient to show that you detrimentally relied on
>your ex's prior statements, and that she has been unjustly
>benefited by not having to pay for transportation, and that
>you sufferred the expense which she should have born.
>
>It's pretty much open and shut. So, pull out your credit card
>and pay for the kids. You should get your attorney fees,
>interest expense, etc., all reimbursed.
>
>I don't know what you sent in your "letter" to exercise
>custody, but you should have sent a letter stating to the
>effect that "As you have indicated that you will neither bring
>the kids to the meeting point or pay the cost of their
>transportation, I have made the following travel arrangements
>and I will expect reimbursement from you. I don't wish to make
>this an adversarial situation, however, if you refuse to
>reimburse me for the transportation arrangements, I will have
>no choice but to take appropriate legal action to recover my
>costs."
>


So my approach was incorrect from the beginning.  With this new knowledge, this is what I sent in my letter:

"Re: Notice of intent to exercise visitation.

As per our custody order I am writing you to notify you that it is my intention to exercise court ordered visitation, as outlined in the court order, page 5, section D, paragraph 1, on the following dates and times.

Pick up: Wednesday, November 22, 2006 at 2pm
Pick up place: Blank VA
Return: Sunday, November 26, 2006 at 2pm
Return place:  Blank, VA
Contact Information:

I understand that you are pregnant and due to have a C-Section December 7, 2006.  I also understand that you may not want to travel at said times above, however, that doesn't negate your responsibility to provide transportation under the order.  You have known for nine months that this was going to be a problem and therefore have had ample time to make other transportation arrangements.  Any deviation from the court order will be seen as a denial of visitation."

   According to your info above this letter isn't going to do me any good in a case against her because this isn't a winable case. I don't have a credit card and unfortunately have horrible credit, I will surely not be given a card in enough time to get my kids this thanksgiving. So basically my ex will get one over on me again.  THank you for your advice though  

[Giggles]

But I do believe if you were to foot the total cost of transportation, you could get reimbursed...meaning, if you were to drive to PA and back, that you could get the reimbursment for that and possibly hotel costs as well?

[gabes_mom]

Yeah that is what soc was saying, However I unfortunately can not do that the money is seriously not there.  Here's my financial sittuation...

I'm 2 months behind on mortgage, 2 months behind on two vehicle payments, and my son's medicaid is going to run out this month and I'll have to be paying insurance to have health coverage on my family.  So my financial sittuation is so volatile that I'm in the sittuation where either I'm going to lose EVERYTHING or barely scrape by without having to file for bankruptcy.  Due to the divorce and the fact I had no lawyer I ended up having to pay all marital debt which is in the process of being charged off, because I have not money to pay the debt, no money to get a lawyer to redistribute the marital debt (not even sure that would be an option) and no money to file for bankruptcy.  This places me where I can't get credit cards. I by no means live beyond my financial capacity.  Unfortunately I lost my job a few months back, got behind on child support and my bills.  It took too long to find a job and now I've been playing catch up to get back to being financially stable.

I'm not trying to make excuses just give all facts.

[nala_mia8]

try to find someone to loan you the money. family, friends, girlfriend, etc.