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Messages - norm9838

Pages: 1
1
Second Families / Not sure what to think
« on: Jul 19, 2005, 09:03:22 AM »
I can not say that my daughter has not always had problems but things are getting worse. I am not sure what to think about the way things have changed in the last year. Heres some background. Her mother and I split up when she was 5 and she is now 12. She has been in 5 schools and is starting into the 6th grade, luckily enough its the same school for the second year. She is only child of me and my ex-girlfriend. She has always been top priority in my life and I have always scheduled my life according to her or at least I have tried. HEr mother and I always used to be able to communicate but that is no longer. My ex has lived with and now is married to man she has been with for less than a year. He is a very jealous person and has pretty much told me to butt out. This has caused me great distress. I love my daughter and want to spend time with her. I have a fiancee that I have been with for 2 1/2 years and my ex has always never seemed to have a problem with her. In the beginning of our relationship she even seemed to try to befriend my fiancee. My daughter and my faincee have always seemed to have a good relationship to the point of my daughter feeling like she could confide in her more than me. I no with time comes change but I do not know what to think. Last year my daughter was to the point of wanting to come live with me and my fiancee. She had been upset with her mother because of a lot of the things that had happened in her life with her mother. Loss of friends because of moving, loss of pets because she had to move and could not take them with her. She was making herself sick because of the pets Understand one thing my daughters pets were her security blanket. Finally my daughter told us she told her mother that she wanted to live with us. A month later her mom brought her a dog to replace the other pets she had lost. My daughter even went so far as telling a friend she has where we live that she knew her mother was bribing her to change her mind about living. Her mother then married the man she was living with and now life is constant chaos. He is telling my daughter stories and embellishing them. I think he tells her these things because he wants to appear big to her. He has a son that is near my daughters age but he lives three states away. My daughter has told me that he is unable to have visitation with his son. She says it is because his ex-wife is a b----. He told me on the phone though that he has had trouble with the law in the state he use to reside in and I wonder if it was abuse. For some reason his son can not visit him and his 24 year old daughter refuses to. It is to the point where he told me I am not to call to talk to my daughters mother concerning my daughter. My daughter has told my fiancee that where before we were able to be easy about visitation that they now want to go according to the paperwork. I now have my daughter 6 days out of 14. It will cut me down to everyother weekend from Thursday night after school through Sunday at 7. Also Tuesdays from after school till 7 at which time her mother is suppose to pick her up. I know that they will bulk about that but it is in our papers. I worry that I am going to loose my daughter. She is becoming a very angry child. She constantly tells lies to us and is getting worse. She seems to be drifting away from us and seems to have total alligience to her mother and her new stepdad. I know that he is causing part of this. He more or less has told me that his wife and him are happy, bought a new home together and do not want any interference from me. Understand it is not only me he has alienated. My ex no longer has contact with the biggest portion of her family. Her mother visited last year and he said such nasty things to her that her and her daughter no longer speak, she also does not talk to her sister. I feel that this man is verbally abusive and seems to be removing everyone from my daughters life except for him and my ex-girlfriend. There has to be a reason why? I would like to look into hiring someone to do some background work about him. Can anyone suggest any? Also how can I document the things that he is saying to me and in the background when I call. If I do get through to my ex and he is there he can be heard in the background calling me all kinds of things and until he starts in she is halfway civil, in fact the few times i have been able to talk to him without him being around she was east to talk to. Can anyone give me some advice?

2
Visitation Issues / More info
« on: May 09, 2006, 11:01:43 AM »
Actually we are not meeting with a mediator, just our attorneys. My attorney and I suggested that when they came back at us with the counter claims.  We did not feel that the judge would want to take the time to listen to all the crap.

Our original paperwork that we put together ourselves is pretty clear about regular and summer visitation

Regular visitation:  Thursday evening after school until Sunday at 7pm.  Receiving parent to pick up.  Opposite week:  Tuesday evening after school until 7pm

Summer visitation:  1st-15th June, July, and August

There is also an addendum in our paperwork that states our holiday schedule is to be according to the county parenting guidelines where we went to court.  Which they gave us both copies of and the only thing we go by on those county guidelines is the holiday schedule nothing else.

I could never get her to go by the schedule though.  The only holidays that she was really concerned about was Christmas and Thanksgiving; she did not care about much else.

So pretty much if a holiday fell on a weekend and it was her weekend unless I asked for something specific and she agreed I was not to pick her up.  If it fell on my weekend and she had something else to do she would not care that I had my daughter. So consequently we never rotated because of holidays so we pretty much always had the same weekends every year.

We never had anything written in about the fact that holidays took precedence over regular or summer visitation.

So I had her every 4th of July because it was my summer visitation time and I really don’t think that she wanted her because she would have had to buy fireworks.

 I also always had her on Easter and mom told her that she didn’t get an Easter basket at her house because the Easter bunny brought it to my house.

She also let me have her for Halloween, she did not want to take her Trick or Treating or buy her an outfit, so I was always able to take her at least until she got married.

 Then all of the sudden step dad could only take her.  But he did tell her that I could buy her outfit if I wanted even though I wouldn’t be able to take her!
Mother’s day was spent with me until this year because it fell on my weekend even though I offered it to her several times. Her response was well I always have her on Fathers day during the summer because its my summer visitation time.  She never offered me father’s day.

Last year my daughters mother got married in May to her new step dad and from that point everything changed which I expected it to change some but not so drastic.

 All of the sudden my daughter was telling me that I had no say over decisions concerning her. But it was ok for step dad to decide what she could and couldn’t do.  

I was told I no longer needed to come to the door to ring the bell I was to wait in my vehicle until she came out.  And the one time I did before I was told this I knocked and the all I heard was she will be out in a minute and then silence and then I heard xxxhole. I was not happy about that especially in front of my daughter. He had no reason to call me that we had never even talked to each other.

One night I called to discuss some things with her mother and he got mad and I could hear him cussing me out in the background, with my daughter in the room, so finally I said does he want to talk to me and that was when he told me that he no longer wanted me talking to his wife, and especially if he was not at home.
He said she is married to me now and she is happy. He said I bought her a new truck and she now lives in a nice home and we do not need you starting trouble. I told him that I was glad they were happy but what did that have to do with me wanting to see my child.  He also told me that he had to leave the area he was from because he got in trouble with the law because of his ex and he did not want any trouble here.

Then he went on to say that he could not even have his own son, who is the same age as my daughter because of his ex.  I told him that was bad that he could not see his son but that he should understand how important my daughter was to me and that it was important that her mother be able to discuss things with me concerning her.

He finished up by telling me that it was not his wife’s fault that she had made a mistake and had a child with me. All I thought was you know her and I do not really even like each other but we have always tried to half way get along because of our daughter.  I told him I never wanted to hear mistake and my daughter in the same sentence again. Lets say that was the end of our phone conversation. Now I get to hear him in the background calling me obscenities if she happens to answer the phone.

I even have him on tape because I tape our conversations between me and her mother and me and my daughter, we live in a one party permission state so I can. I also have her stating that we are not to go according to the paperwork we have. I also have her calling me obscenities in the background while my daughter is talking to me on the phone but according to her neither her or husband have ever done that in my daughters presence.

Anyway three years ago my fiancée moved in with me and she started working in the town where they lived and where my daughter went to school so on Tuesdays and Sundays she asked if it would be ok to drop her off the next morning before she went to school so there would no longer be double driving for us. It was on her way anyway.   My ex said sure, she wasn’t going to drive so that’s how we ended up with her 6 out of 14.  At least until I stood my ground on Thanksgiving, I would of agreed to just part of the weekend but no she refused me completely saying my daughter had already made plans.

Now I get her only every other Tuesday and that is from the time I get off work, which is 4:30pm until 7pm. I drive 20 minutes from where I work to her house and then 30 minutes to my house, and then her mother picks her up at 7pm.

I think her mother is trying to get it so I do not have her anytime except the weekend on Friday through Sunday at 7pm.  My daughter also told me that her mom thinks she is old enough to pick where she wants to be on holidays and that it should be up to her.

 Once this gets ironed out you should know what days you have her so the bus thing should not come up again (but you can drop her off at her regular bus stop and wait for the bus?)



The bus thing only comes up because she is not riding the bus that goes by her house where she now lives.  She is living in one school district and going to school in another because it is easier for mom.

I also know mom did not go through the state to get that approved. So I also want to know when we meet with our attorneys if she is going to take legal responsibility for tuition when it comes up. We both have joint legal and I refuse to pay tuition when I am not the one who has gone behind the states back, especially not for 1600.00 per year.


So when my ex said I was eroding the relationship with her and our child it is quite the contrary.  

I am not telling our child to use some other name then her own.
I do not make reference to my ex by calling her bad names in front of our child.
I do not constantly belittle everything that her mother has told her so that she will go back and tell her, like my daughter does with me.  Like, dad you’re an idiot mom says so.  Or dad you’re a loser because mom and step dad say so. Or dad you need to grow up, your immature like mom says (all because I try to get her to laugh and will do funny things to get her to)


She will say to our daughter, like they really love you
Don’t worry that they won’t get you a new puppy (even though she has pets) all you need to worry about is what you have at home

My daughter telling me before Thanksgiving telling me that she would not be with us because she was going to be with her family on Thanksgiving and all that weekend.  Like we don’t exist or we are not family to her.  I wonder who told her that to tell us, don’t take too much to figure out.


This is what I am hoping for:

I want my daughter every other Tuesday overnight and I will drop her off in the morning but if the drop is different then they will have to give me advance notice.

 I want to continue having her from Thursday the other week through Sunday but I would like to drop her off Monday morning instead of her mother picking her up so we can go to church Sunday night also.

I want my scheduled holidays.

I want her mother and her husband to stop making derogatory references about us in front of our child.
I want her mother and step dad to quit telling her she can make her own decisions when and if she comes to stay with us.
I want them to quit saying that I have no rights concerning decisions made about her.
I definitely do not want her using someone else’s name besides mine unless she gets married and hopefully not in the near future (she’s 13)
I would also like to know why he couldn’t have his son unless it is supervised.
I want her mother and stepfather to stop intentionally encouraging her to go against anything I do or say concerning her.
 


I want her to sign a paper stating she will be responsible for tuition if it comes up or place her in the correct school.

My current support is figured with me only having her Friday and Saturday overnights every other week and during holidays and summer visitation time.

Plus they need to deduct the 40.00 for childcare that is no longer needed.

 I already pay all medical and dental even though she is to pay part.

 I also provide her with all of her clothes while she is here and I spend a substantial amount on school clothes and activities. I have receipts to prove that.

If they would of refigured it three years ago when I had her almost half the amount of time it would have been cut in half.  So if I can have her the time I would like above she can still keep it the same as it is now.
Which would be above and beyond if they consider everything.

What do you think am I asking for too much?


3
Visitation Issues / Visitation and overall issues
« on: May 08, 2006, 04:37:43 PM »
I have questions that I am hoping maybe I can get some advice with.

I filed contempt charges against my ex-girlfriend over Thanksgiving. After that everything fell apart and I knew that it would. The weekend before our court date she finally hired an attorney and he counterfiled claims against me on the morning of court so needless to say it was continued and that was March.

She came back and said I denied her visitation from the past. (Lets see she is the primary caregiver so how could i have refused her when I pick my daughter up there?)

Too,up until the point where I was not being allowed to have her on holidays we always tried to negotiate (which usually meant i did not want a fight so i gave in) so we never went by our holiday schedule until she cut me out completely.

Then she said that I was taking action and saying things to erode the relationship between her and our daughter.  
1. I got upset when my daughter made reference to herself with my ex-girlfriends husbands last name and not mine.  Its on everything.
2.   I get upset when my daughter tells me that I do not have any right to make choices concerning her but then I am told by my daughter that she can not walk our family dog of 13 years who was raised with her because stepdad says she is not to.
3.  I get upset when everything is a competition and everything that is bought for her from their house is only purchased by stepdad. Her clothes, her toys, her pets.  My fiancee asked her once if mom never bought her anything and her response was mom pays the bills. All of that started because my fiancee bought her new school clothes.
 
So now we our going to try to hash it out in a room and if we can come to an agreement there will be no court date.

1. I feel that the only people that should be there for this meeting should be her attorney, my attorney and her and I. After all it is our daughter. My fiancee said she did not want to be there she feels that this should just be between the two of us and feels that I already know how she feels. She said your the parent not me. So consequently I do not want her husband in the room either.  Am I asking too much?


I went to pick my daughter up on my Thursday night visitation, I get her from Thursday night until Sunday at 7:00pm

She informs me that normally she goes to stepdads relatives house to catch the bus but relative is going to be gone so I will have to take her to school the next day.

I asked her how long have you guys known that this was going to be the situation and her reply was for a long time now.

Do I have the right to request that she give me alittle more advanced notice I could loose my job if it happened a lot and I know what she will say then don't keep her overnight on school nights. Thats not the problem I make my own schedule two weeks at a time but I would expect my employees to give me advanced notice if they were going to be late!

She wants more child support. Up unitl she got mad at me I had my daughter 6 days and nights out of 14. I never had the support lowered even though I could of cut it in half. I supply all clothing for her in my home and frequently buy her school clothes.  I supply all medical and dental insurance and even though she is to pay like 800.00 of first part that it not paid by the insurance I have never given her the first bill.  I am now making about 4.00 more on the hour when we originally started all of this but she is making more also. There is no longer child care so that is 40.00  less per week I supplied all the transportation since day one except with a few exceptions and she is suppose to pick her back up when she is receiving her.  Now she is mad and comes and get her just so I can not have her overnight.

Do you think that if I can prove that I had her that much and she was doing good in school and overall that the judge would grant me back 1 overnight during the week. I would do all of the driving.

Now she is at home more and is failing in school.

Sorry so long winded but it just burns me.

4
My ex-girlfriend and I have a 12 year old daughter. When we split up when my daughter was 5 we were awarded joint custody with her being the primary caregiver. Up until a year ago we were able to communicate with each other either by phone or in person as to our intentions as far as visitation and such. A year ago she became involved with a man that she recently married. From the point of his entrance into the whole situation I would no longer be able to contact or talk to her about my daughter unless he was present. Then it further esculated to the fact that everything had to be said via my daughter putting her into a position that caused and is causing her great distress.
Anyway I was to have my daughter from the 1st through the 15th of July, my daughter expressed the fact that she wanted to take her new dog to the 4th of July Fireworks and because I was have her on the 4th it being part of my summer schedule I told her she could stay with mom and stepdad and that I would pick her up the following day after work. Anyway then while she was with us my daughter told me that her mother and stepfather were going to a family reunion and that it would cut my visit even shorter. Well things happened and my daughter's greatgrandfather passed away so the trip for the reunion was canceled and I wanted my daughter after the funeral to be able to have some makeup time with her that I gave up because of her wishes. So I called and left a message for her mother to call me and she did not so I called there. I asked her what her plans were and if they were still going to the reunion. She exploded on me and then I could hear her husband in the background screaming obscenities and saying that he was her husband and that I did not have the right to call her anymore. So I asked her if he would talk to me, so she put him onto the phone,. He then preceded to tell me that she was his wife and that they had bought a home together and that he had given her a truck for her birthday and that they were doing great and that they did not need me to be causing trouble. I sat there in disbelief after he told me how his first wife cheated on him and that he did not want her talking to me. I then told him that because of the lack of communication and putting my daughter in the middle that my fiancee and I never knew what to expect or had anyway of making any of our own plans. I also told him that I was glad that they were doing so well but there needed to be communication among the adults concerning our daughter. So then he pretty much told me that where my daughter was concerned that I would have to talk to him and told me when he would be home and when I could call.
My question is this. Is there anything legally that I can do? I did not have a child with him and I understand that he is her stepfather but who has precedence here. He also went so far as telling me that he had problems with the police where he lived and that was why he moved here. He also told me that he can not see his own 13 year old son because his ex refuses him visitation, (they live 4 states away). I have a feeling that there is a reason why he can not have his son. He also has a 22 year old daughter who refuses to even see him and she does not live at home. Can you give me any advice as what to do? Is there a way that I can check into his background and see if he did anything bad that has caused him to loose vistitation rights. I am very concerned for my daughters well being with a man who seems to have a screw loose. I do not care that he married my ex all I want to do is have my time with my daughter and not having him dictate to me when and how?
__________________

5
Visitation Issues / summer visitation and summer school
« on: Jun 07, 2005, 06:59:00 AM »
 Every year I go through this. We have joint custody but when it comes to making decisions concerning my daughter I am left out in left field. My ex girlfriend signed our daughter up for summer school. I live in a town thats 30 minutes from where they live and she goes to school. I travel the same distance to work. I work 7-4. When my daughter is with me when she is not in summer school I make arrangements for her during the day while I am at work. My daughter told me that I am to drop her off at her mothers in the morning before school, she does to summer school from 8-12. A while back my ex got mad because she told my daughter that if I was at work then she should be the one that has her not my girlfriend. Well I started taking her as usual and then my daughter told me that my ex's husband was irritated because he had to watch her until I get off work and he could be doing something else. He works nights. I figured if they voluntarily signed her up for summer school and know that I have to work then they could figuare out what to do about a sitter until I get off. It would be extremely hard for me to find a sitter in their town since I do not know anyone there. Plus her mother works 12 hour shifts and only works certain days during the week. Am I being unfair because she did not consider my travel time when making the decision for her to go to summer school. The school did not request it she signed her up. My daughters grades are not good but it accounts to the fact that she will not apply herself she chooses not to. She just does not care when it comes to school and I do not feel any amount of sitting in a class is going to change that. She use to make good grades but is very self centered and has decided that its just boring and a waste of time.

6
Father's Issues / RE: She's moving my son out of state...
« on: Aug 01, 2005, 07:18:32 AM »
I understand how you feel. It would not surprize me at all if the mother of my child would decide to move out of state. She has lived in 9 different places since she moved out. My child has been in 5 different schools and is just starting the 6th grade. She took up with a man in the last year and just recently got married. He was originally from two states away and also has a 12 year old who currently he can not see that lives out of state. If I were to receive papers in the mail saying they were moving there it would not shock me. She has the opiniion that I can not stop her from doing anything. Well one thing I do know it that I have always had constant contact with my child. I have always been the only constant in her life when it comes to stability, unless you can count the fact that her mother has constantly moved, constantly been unstable, and constantly been a pain in the you know what. I do not know what I would do if she did move away but I do not think that I would pick up my belongings and go along for the ride. I have always lived in a small community compared to where they would be moving to. I have lived in the same home now for 15 years and work at the same job of 16 years. Could I transfer yes, my job would probably allow it. One thing that I do know is this though. My child would drive her crazy because she would not be able to see me like she does now. We have our tiffs my child and I but she knows that I love her and that I will always be there for her. The animosity that she would manifest from her mother moving that far away from me would eat her mother alive. I wish you luck and I myself am going to look into a restraining order just in case she gets froggy!

7
Father's Issues / RE: Would You turn them in?
« on: Jul 23, 2005, 06:42:30 AM »
I really appreciate all the advice that everyone is giving. The sf has a problem with me because of issues from his past I guess. The last time I was trying to talk to my ex on the phone about visitation he blew up in the background so I asked to talk to him. One of the things that he told me was that his exwife use to get phone calls and that she had cheated on him and that was how he ended up in this state. I told him I was sorry that it happened but to understand that I had absolutely no desire to rekindle a relationship with my ex, his wife. I am getting married in the spring of next year and my fiancee and I have been together for 2 1/2 yrs. My fiancee is very supportive when it comes to my daughter but constantly tells me that I am being taken advantage of. She also told me that I should not and do not have to talk to him to visit with my daughter. She raised her own kids on her own after her divorce from their father. She told me that they always stuck to their visitation schedule and yes it was hard to miss out on holidays and such but that they had less problems since both of them knew exactly when, where and how. Plus she said her kids knew what their schedules were going to be. She did tell me though that her ex moved 6 states away and that when her children became teens that they did not want to go to their fathers for 6 weeks in the summer because of their friends and that the court did not make them. Her ex and her both realized that they were becoming adults and that they needed some space so they would only spend about two weeks with her ex. I just though and it seemed as if everything was working pretty well. My daughter was with me 6 out of 14 days and even nights because her mother did not want to drive to get her and my fiancee worked in the same town they lived in, so she would drop my daughter off before school. Well the place my fiancee works at downsized and now she will not be driving there. On Tuesdays I use to pick my daughter up and spend from after school until 7 with her, either going to the park, shopping or getting a bite to eat and then I would drop her off and drive home. I did this because her mother refused to drive the 35 minutes to my home. Now after 6 years I am tired of doing all of the driving and I am tired of my daughter viewing me as a dollar bill. Fathers who are with there children do not shop (every Tuesday) with them or go to the park (every Tuesday) or go out to eat (every Tuesday), this is something only a noncustodial parent would do. When I was growing up and my parents were divorced we went to my dads and we did what most kids would have. The thing is I know my daughter, she is 12 now and I know that if she pushes enough her mother will listen to her. Last winter she was ready and wanting to move in with me because she was tired of all of the crap that goes on at her mothers. Plus she was tired of the lies. Then mom went out and bought her a 300.00 chocolate lab and all of the sudden things were fine. Well I guess that tells you in some ways how shallow my daughter can be when she wants. You know its hard to admit sometimes that your kids are growing up to not be nice people but sometimes you just have to admit it. The last straw was when she was with us after the 4th. She was mean and spiteful to her only friend that is moving to Utah after she said she wanted her here (only if she could completely control her friend and that was not happening). Plus she knew the whole time that she was going to leave early to go back to her mothers regardless of the situation. When I did see her she gave me a nasty look as if to say ha, I got the best of you. Well ha no she got the best of herself. I am not and will not play her games or her mothers and sd. My support has always automatically went to them as I had it set up that way. She told my fiancee and her friend that her mom buys her 200.00 worth of clothes each year not me. Well I hope that is enough last year we spent 500.00 on school clothes for her alone and her mom gets 80.00 per week support. I provide all medical, all dental (which is not even listed in our papers) and all transportation. Well I told my fiancee no more. Now its mom turn, She is suppose to pay the first 588.00 of medical, its her turn to pay dental and she will either drive or I guess there will be no visitation and she will hear from my attorney. Its about time dad grew some backbone where my daughter and her mother is concerned and quit trying to be so easy because as you have said their a lot of the time is no such thing as nice. As to the school thing, yes I am going to report her. I am tired of the lies. As far as paying for her tuition I would fight it in court for if it was up to me I would not do such a thing. Rules and rights are to be respected and I think if I keep quiet and my daughter knows I know then I am just as guilty as her mother.

8
Father's Issues / RE: Would You turn them in?
« on: Jul 22, 2005, 09:48:28 AM »
How in the world can I be responsible for the tuition. In all the time that my daughter has been in school I have had no choice in choosing where she lives or where she attends school. My ex-girlfriend is the one that enrolls her. Maybe laws in other states are more strict when it comes to children and parents who are not together. When I was growing up if a mother or father would of left a 6 year old home alone an hour before school without any adult supervision. The parents would of been arrested for neglect. Years ago my ex did this with my daughter and when I tried to report this to child protection agency they told me that they could not do anything until something happened to my child. I went to an attorney last year in the fall because I wanted to try to get custody of my daughter. I told him the whole situation. That my ex has never stayed anywhere for over a year, that my daughter had been in a different school each year and that their had never been any stability in my daughters life other than me. My daughter finished last year with a D average. This is even after she was placed in LD. The sad part is our child is an intelligent child who has given up on most things in life. Now my ex is married to a man that she has only known since last fall. He has told me that he will not stand for my intrusion in their life. I do not want to intrude on him and his wife I just want to see my daughter when I am suppose to without all of the crap. He even went so far as to tell me that he has been in trouble with the law. He himself has a twelve year old son that he can not see and I wonder as to the reason why. We have in our papers that we have joint custody with her being the primary caregiver but yet I am not advised as to any decisions where my daughter is concerned. I am getting to the point of just giving up. I have lived in the same home for the last 15 years. I have been employed at the same job for 16. I could of provided my daughter with the stability that she needed. I feel like the whole situation is getting more hopeless by the minute. The attorney told me if I tried to get custody that I could very well lose and get even less time with my daughter. Maybe it is time to stepback from the situation. I know that my daughter has always wanted to spend time with me and that is her mother and sd get their way it will be less and less with all kinds of excusses. I figure her next line of attack if she does say all you are going to get is whats on the papers she will even try to keep me from that. Our papers state that I am to have every other weekend starting from Thursday after school until Sunday at 7. At which time she is to pick her up. Also every other Tuesday from after school until 7 at which time she is to pick her up. For the last two years I have picked her up and Dropped her off at home the morning after because her mother would not drive to get her. When we go back to the papers I know she will come up with some kind of an excuse to not let me have her because her and her husband will refuse to drive to get her. If we are going to go by the papers shouldn't it be down to the letter. If she will not do what is in the papers what is my next step of action. Also in our state it states that if two people are having a conversation on the phone that the conversation can be recorded. Every time I try to contact her mother and find out about my visitation he is screaming obscenties in the backgound. He has cut her off from all of her family members by doing the exact same things. I worry that he is an abusive person and maybe that is why he can not have his son. What would you do? I refuse to pay the tuition as I was not the person who enrolled her in a school she is not suppose to attend. This not a case of going to a different school located in the same town. She has moved into another county. That is why my daughter should be attending another school. My ex and her husband purchased a house on contract and did not care that they were placing her in a different school district. Anyway I am at the end of my rope. All I know is if she ever calls me again and says my world is falling apart and can you take our daughter for awhile until I find a place to live I will have her in court so fast her head will spin. When her world is falling apart she has no problem asking me to be the father of my child. I should of filed for custody two summers ago when she did that and then I would probably have my child. My problem is I try to be nice and make things run smooth and with her there is no being nice. Sometimes I wish you could still prove a person unfit. A person has to have a problem when they go from one man to his cousin and finally marry the cousins brother. Weird huh.

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Father's Issues / RE: Double Standards on Support Arrearages
« on: Jul 20, 2005, 05:59:13 PM »
What state are you in? Never heard of such a thing?

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Father's Issues / Would You turn them in?
« on: Jul 20, 2005, 05:55:59 PM »
My ex-girlfriend and her now current husband have done nothing but try to alienate my daughter from me for the last year. They are constantly telling me that I am trying to cause trouble for them when all I want to do is see my daughter and try to plan a portion of my own life. If plans get changed or things are to be different they go through my daughter. My ex use to talk to me and now is not allowed to via her husband. His exact words, "She now married and is my wife and we bought a new home together and she has a new truck I bought her for her birthday and we are happy and do not want you to cause us problems. All I wanted was an extra two days because I lost 5 in the beginning of my vistitation for summer because I was nice and let her mother have her for the 4th. I was suppose to get her on the 1st. Well anyway I have had it being the nice guy. This woman has had our daughter in 5 schools and she is just starting 6th grade. On top of that the school she will be going to is not the one she is suppose to be in. Her mother and stepdad moved out of her school district and now reside in another and her mother is going to lie and say she is living at an address within the limits. If she is caught my she will have to pay tuition and she knows that I know what she is doing. Well is she wants to lie thats one thing but I am tired of being part of the lie. The part that makes me sick is that she has taught my daughter that if you can not get what you want by telling the truth you lie. Which is one of the reasons we are not together. I kept hoping that her mother's habitual lying would not pass on to our child but I can see thats hopeless. Now she not only has a mother who lies but a stepdad who embellishes stories that anyone would question. So what would you do? Turn her in?

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