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Messages - Simplydad

#61
Quote from: Heston on Aug 08, 2011, 12:34:42 AM
Thanks.  There are even more problems.  I have so much evidence of contempt of the CO that the BM is desperately creating false evidence.  She has a relationship that is far too friendly with the counseller who is totally on her side.  My child now tells me her mom tells her to lie to the counseller to say she doesn't like me and that I am mean.  The mom does that already.  She has already built up a case with that very gullible counselor.  I already reported here that after filing the hideous untruthful motion the mom showed up an hour and a half late having got the cops to accompany her and showed them a bag of vomit claiming my child vomitted because she was forced to see me.  That means fake evidence and looks like she tried to bring the child but I was not home.  A perfect excuse.  No matter that I emailed her (as per the CO - she has a cell that she views emails on) asking if she was bringing my daughter and asking if she was delayed.... and that I had waited one and a half hours before leaving my home to take my other child to an apt, assuming my child was not being brought for drop off because the BMs MO is to ignore my attempts to find out if she is on her way, etc when she fails to bring her.

Ok....first let's take a deep breath and calm down some.  I understand the stress level you are going through.  You getting worked up about it will hurt you.  What is happening here is a someone is trying to get a reaction out of you and get you so stressed that you will make a mistake.

Family court judges have seen all that your ex is trying and then some.  They will not be fooled by any of this. The counselor is not even an issue becasue she is not even a licenses professional.  All you have to do is object to her credentials and then ask that a GAL be appointed for your child and request court appointed counseling with a counselor that must be aggred upon by both parties and if not one that is appointed by the court with the GAL's recommendation. 

All evidence must be factual for starters.  Also, your wife's side is not allowed any suprises. Send a certified letter to her attorney requestion discovery and that they submit to you copies of all that will be presented in court.

Concerning the vomit.....No judge will admit it or even consider it and before the accompanying officer can even testify they must be subpoenad and I am not sure who would be willing to take time off for this.  Even then the officer will have to testify that he actually saw the child vomit but it is hignly unlikely that he can testify as to why. He is not a licenses counselor nor is he a medical professional.

Quote from: Heston on Aug 08, 2011, 12:34:42 AM
Now she brought my child with cops once more.  This time she told them lies, such as she is afraid I will kill the child because her father is "evil".  The cops came into my house to investigate.  My child told me afterwards that her mom told her to tell the cop that her dad was "mean".  My child then opened up to tell me the other lies her mom is telling her to say. 

It will not matter that she showed up with the cops.  Judge will pretty much say......so what.

Also, your ex has been held in contempt before and you have evidence with proof of that contempt.   

Quote from: Heston on Aug 08, 2011, 12:34:42 AM
I am up against a totally biased counselor who believes the BM and child totally, therefore she will be convincing in court.  The other counselor is associated with the first one.  My daughter is not likely to tell her she has been told to lie and that counselor does not want to become involved in court related issues.  I cannot afford to take my child to another new and expensive counselor at this moment in time but if she doesn't tell a counselor about the lies, the consequences are unthinkable....also my daughter may not open up to a new one.  She tells me because she trusts me.  But I have to get evidence that she is told to lie to counter what the BM is doing, i.e. trying to get me removed from my child's life.  Also, I have only two weeks to provide my evidence to the BMs attorney.

Counselors are always biased....at least in my experience.  Once they build a rapport with someone they will seemingly always take their side.  Licensed professionals are able to separate personal and professional feelings when it comes to legal proceedings.  Keep in mind that you are not obligated to just take what her conselor is saying.  Based on parent alienation you can request that your child see a counselor of your choosing.  You have that right.  Just becuase your ex has chosen a counselor does not meant you do not have the right to get a professional to rebutt her testimony and I can assure you a licenses counselor will carry a whole lot more weight in court.
Quote from: Heston on Aug 08, 2011, 12:34:42 AM
With each visitation, cops are being employed in a frenzied attempt by the BM to create evidence.  Knowing how the family courts work, this "evidence" will be taken on board, after all it is a counselor and cops... and a BM who is BPD and excels at lying convincingly.

Again, this is not going to matter.  In many divorces because parents disagree law enforcement are calle to ensure a peaceful exchange of the children.  The only thing that is happening here is the cops are present during your exchange.  Unless you are arrested and charges are filed the fact they were there is pretty much inadmissable.

Quote from: Heston on Aug 08, 2011, 12:34:42 AM
The BM is behaving ever more frenzied.  She has escaped accountability all her life and I can now see she has probably used these "warfare" tactics in various scenarios over the years to escape scrutiny.  This is what she is doing now.  The BM knows she has been in contempt of the CO.  There is proof of that.  The BM is therefore making me out to be a monster, both to the counseler, (meant to counsel the child but whom the BM sees for her own counselling) and now to local police in my area.  She is forcing my child to lie to the police and lying herself.  First it was the motion alleging I told my child her mom would murder her.  Now it's a report to the cops that she is afraid the father (I) will kill her.

Yet no investigation was launched.  Police reports are not evidence.   

Quote from: Heston on Aug 08, 2011, 12:34:42 AM
It has become a non-stop attack on all levels.  Lies in emails.  Lies to cops and counselors.  The BM wants me out of my daughter's life.  The stepfather is an overpowering influence on that score too.  Courts only take notice of proof.  The BM's fake proof will be listened to.  How do I obtain sufficient proof of this relentless alienation?  Bear in mind the other attorney needs the evidence in two weeks!  And if I ask my daughter to see another counselor, if its even possible to get one, whatever she says or does, she will be interrogated when she returns home and the BM will know exactly what is going on.  Therefore, I cannot talk freely to my child or tell her why she needs to speak to someone else about what is going on.  She needs to tell someone else what she has told me, but cannot be told why.  It makes it pretty near impossible to get her to trust another person to tell them.  It's like entrapment and there appears to be no way out...if I am not able to overcome what is going on now, I will lose my child.  My other child is greatly affected by what's going on too.

There is absolutely nothing that they can do to take you out of your childs life. Absolutely nothing unless you have comitted some really heinous acts and I do not see that as the case.

To put it in further context....you child can actually say in court that she does not want to see you and that still will not be enough. The child does not get to make the choice. Your rights as a father cannot be usurped unless you have commited crimes that will show you as a danger to the child 
#62
I would take it to court now. If they offer another mediation session I would just simply say now because it could be a stalling tactic.  Then when you go to court ask for what was agreed upon in mediation. It may not be binding as an aggreement because she changed her mind but the just may just find that she negotiated in bad faith and can compel the agreement in their own order.
#63
Violating a custody order is a major issue and can get you thrown in jail.

The child's best interest is the thing that matters.  The first thing I think you should do is file a motion for modification of custody.  The law states that has to be a change of circumstance for it to be considered and based on what I have read it looks like you meet that criteria. 

1. The constant moving causes an adverse situation when moving a child if they are constantly moving schools.

2. The child has failed the 5th grade and that can be attributed to the constant issues of moving around.

3. In Texas a child can request to live with the parent of their choice (that alone is enough for change of circumstance I believe)

I would hire an attorney as soon as possible.
#64
Quote from: Heston on Aug 03, 2011, 09:42:37 AM
Thanks for the comments.  I was reading up on PAS yesterday on the paawareness.org site and it said PAS was the syndrome the child suffers from and PA is what the parents do, ie alienate the child.  I guess then it should be OK to leave it as it is and if the lawyer tries anything, just explain that the parents are constantly alienating the child against me...

I believe using this will help a lot for getting a GAL appointed for your child.

It means your child has legal representation where his best interests are the only thing that matter to that attorney.   Something your ex can't control.
#65
General Issues / Re: joint parties and holidays
Aug 03, 2011, 09:03:51 AM
Quote from: twistedtmama on Jul 23, 2011, 04:35:45 PM
Only way I want to deal with bio jerk is during drop offs I do not want him around me celebrating holidays. So then my son can just have his day ruined and feel the tension between my family and his family my son does not deserve that.

It may not seem this way to you but you are just as much a contributing factor to these issues.  You obvious hostility toward your ex will not go unrecognized by your son.  Your feelings toward his dad has to be one of the most irrelevent feelings there is when it comes to the child.  You may not like his father but he loves his father. 

Quote from: twistedtmama on Jul 23, 2011, 04:35:45 PM
I refuse to bend over backwards to suit him I have before in the past and I got taken advantage of. His family and my family together will just make everyone really uncomfortable. Only reason why they want to go is because bio is too cheap to throw his own party.

I don't have a problem with separate events when it comes to birthdays and other holidays.  However if the party is on the actual birthday then I think it may be important for the child to have some time with both parents.  In my state in the standard decree both parents gets time with the child on the birthday. The non-custodial gets to pick up the child just a normal weekday visitation that starts at 6 and ends at 8.
#66
It is actually called Parent Alienation Syndrome so your motion has the correct wording. 
#67
If this firm represented you in the past and in relation to this divorce/custody I do not believe that can take your ex as a client and represent her.  I am not truly certain on that though.
#68
Quote from: Heston on Jul 27, 2011, 02:47:06 AM
Thanks so much for that information.  Should I file a motion to ask that she is not a witness?  She is currently on the list of witnesses.  And in the same motion ask that the court forbids the child from seeing this counseller on the grounds you mentioned?  The counseler is not licensed.  She works for a psychologist but is unlicensed herself by any board.  I filed two complaints and the governing bodies said they could not deal with it because she is not qualified.  I have now filed two complaints against the psychologist she works for, for allowing this to happen and the counseler has been named as the party acting unethically.

This right here raises a major flag for me.  I would file a motion to have this person present her credentials if she is going to testify as a medical professional.  If she cannot provide those credentials then I would object to her testimony as a medical professional as she is not qualified.

If she is working for a psycologist and is having visits in this doctors office then I would file a complaint against the actual doctor for allowing a non licenses professional to practice as a counselor in his office.

Quote from: Heston on Jul 27, 2011, 02:47:06 AM
Yesterday there were two more hideous developments.  The BM filed a motion.  She has asked now for visits to be supervised.  And she has asked this, alleging that I speak to my daughter in an inappropriate way.  The inappropriate statement is fiction.  The BM is claiming I have told my child her mom will be murdered.  And that I have compared the BM to a notorious killer.  I've never had supervised visitation.  I have my daughter for weekends and one week evening, when the BM doesnt act contemptuously and deny visits, which she has done recently.  And now, based on lies, the BM wishes to change the visits to being supervised.  This is a backhanded route to them wanting full custody but they know if they request it openly it will be denied.
Judging by the fact the BM has had the child write letters to the counseler making accusations, and telling the counseler the same, through intimidation by the BM, I know this would be the case concerning the above motion.  The content of the motion is lies.  The manufactured evidence is the child being forced to tell the counseller and probably write a letter, as if that makes it true.  But how does a person defend themself on something as hideous as this?


This is heresay and more than likely not admissable unless there is a report of abuse.  You should ask that a GAL (Guardia Ad Litem) be appointed to your child.  State that you believe your child is being abused via Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAL)

It sounds like there is a lot of allegations but not much proof behind these allegations.   A key here is that these letters have been given to a person who is not licenses to practice as a psycologist .

Quote from: Heston on Jul 27, 2011, 02:47:06 AMThanks again for the info about the counseler.  I will definitely be adding to my complaint about her.  If anyone has any ideas on the latest developments and what to do, I would really like to hear about them.  At the moment, due to spending so much already, there is no possibility of getting an attorney.

Try googling a fathers rights group in your area.  They may be able to put you in touch with someone that could help you pro-bono or you may qualify for legal aid.  In any case I really think you should try to get some legal representation going against a sleezy attorny may not be all that easy.
#69
IMO the answer is no.

Until otherwise ordered the current visition order is in affect.  Unless there is a valid abuse claim then the judge should not have a valid judicial standard to change anything.
#70
1. Your rights as a parent can't be taken away from you for any reason unless you agree to it.  There are some exceptions but thesre are caused by very severe issues such as child abuse and domestic violence just to name a couple.  So you should be able to get joint custody without a problem but keep in mind this does not mean a 50/50 custody split. Joint custody normally means you have every legal right as the mother to make decisions for the child.  Custody is another matter.

2. Since you live in a differnt state I think there is  zero chance of you getting 50/50 custody. I don't think there is a court that will allow it.  Living in the same area is even difficult to get a 50/50 split in custody.  For something like that you are definately going to need a lawyer. Otherwise it will more than likely be a standard visitation plan. 

3. Also, she has to meet a certain residency requirement before she can do any filings in Las Vegas.  If it has not been long since she moved and California is her legal residence right now then I suggest that you file right away for custody where you are living.  She will have to come to California for all the hearings on the matter.  You can do all of this yourself with just a filing fee. I am not familiar with California Family Law.  You also my quaily for legal aid if you are not working right now.  In any case you need to file before she does and need to do so before she meets the residency requirements for Nevada.