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Messages - Apple

#31
DH had attorney file for a motion because BM refuses to work with parenting consultant.  Their divorce requires them to use one.

Court date is on a Thursday at 3pm.  DH's parenting time starts at 5pm on Thursdays.  BM is saying there's no way she'll be able to get the kids to the exchange point because of the court date and is telling DH he won't see the kids that night.  Depending on how long they're in court, this is possible. 

DH tells her she has plenty of time to find someone to drop them off, court isn't until January.  And that he plans to send someone in his place (they share legal).  BM then goes on to say she's not leaving the kids with anyone but DH or me (SM).  OK, which one is it?  You can you get them there or not? 
Also, Step dad has every other Thursday off, and court falls on his off Thursday.  For over a year, he's been doing the drop off on those Thursdays (just did it this past week).  BM is saying he has to work (I'm sure a lie, but can't prove it). 

Bottom line, can BM refuse DH time because of the court date?  They live 40 or so miles apart so DH picking them up at BM's house isn't feasiable time-wise (need homework, dinner time etc).

I know DH can't require her to find someone to drop kids off, but she's been trying to noodle out of the Thursday nights for some time and uses every excuse she can find to not do it...

Lastly, DH suggested BM contact his attorney to discuss a new court date if it's such an issue.  BM responded it wasn't her issues and she's done discussing it.


#32
General Issues / Re: In forma pauperis
Oct 19, 2011, 09:11:17 AM
Ugh!  I can see why no charge court fees would be helpful to some, what is to keep her from abusing it?

The order states BM and DH are to use a Parenting Consultant - Judge reiterated this in his ruling.  In a recent email BM states it's free for her to go to court, and she can't afford the PC (the last PC she was paying $50 per hour - a BARGIN IMHO).   

I can see it now, we end up in court, BM claims she's in poverty (but has digital cable, a smart phone, a nice car, $1000 a month in CS etc.) and DH ends up with the PC bills... 
#33
General Issues / In forma pauperis
Oct 18, 2011, 06:13:02 PM
DH and BM were in court this past August.  One of the issues BM filed a motion for was to discontinue DH's Thursday overnights with the kids (BM was moving and didn't think it was feasible).  However, once in court she agreed to keep the schedule the same as long as DH can get the kids to school on Fridays.  We've done that. 

But now BM tells DH she's filing again to remove the Thursday visit.  ???  There have been no changes that warrant this.  She's come to DH almost every week with another complaint.  All minor issues.  I'd bet my paycheck she's annoyed that she has to drive so far for the exchanges.  Judge didn't change that either.  She's at the mercy of where DH will meet.  We were (what we consider to be) fair and are driving the same distance as before the move, just in another direction (towards BM's new town).   

We were JUST in court in August - and the issue of Thursday overnights was discussed, I'm assuming a judge would not be happy to hear this same issue again. 

The kicker, DH and I just found out is she's able to file at no charge.  She's claiming poverty.  She doesn't work full time (she could if she wanted to).  At this rate we'll be in court several times a year... 

When calculating poverty for court filing fees, is the household income considered?  She is NOT below povery if her husband's income is considered.
#34
Parenting Issues / BM complaints
Oct 05, 2011, 07:32:58 PM
Looking for some insight. 

Since school started BM has come up with complaint after complaint about things at our house.  My belief is she's trying to make a case to end the Thursday overnights (we've been doing them for about 4 years, kids are 12 and 9 - we started them as soon as they lived close enough to make it feasible).  BM recently lost a motion to end Thursday overnights at our house. 

Most of BM's issues come to DH as "the girls complained that..."  The most recent complaint is they're not getting enough to eat for breakfast and are "starving" at school.  I'm the one that feeds them, I know they're getting enough to eat.  Their breakfasts are very high in protein and will keep them full for hours.  BM comes at DH with emails saying things like "this must be fixed ASAP."  Usually she has about half the information.

Can DH ignore these emails?  If we were to ever end up back in court, DH does not want to appear not to care, but BM is trying to pick fights.  He usually will respond that he'll speak to the girls about the issue but BM will continue to insist we're doing something wrong and it must be addressed.    

On the same line, DH and I want do what we can to make sure the girls aren't giving BM fuel for the fire.  We in no way want to suggest they can't be open with mom about dad's house, but we want them to come to DH with issues at DH's house.  DH is very close to the kids and they will answer questions (not that we interrogate them in anyway) when asked but don't seem to what to bring things up.  I believe BM is digging for issues after they've been with us.  Suggestions for how to address this with the kids without making the issue worse? 

#35
I agree.

However I'm glad he responded in this case, BM was of the mind that she could continue her behavior (she was not following the court order) until she heard back from the judge.   Apparently she believes sending him letter suspended the court order and she was free to do whatever she wanted until she was told AGAIN that she can't.

Hopefully he directed her to NOT contact him that way again.
And, it doesn't appear the judge sent a copy of his letter to DH or to DH's attorney - even though BM's letter notes that she sent DH a copy...   
#36
BM got a letter back (we didn't see it - at least not yet).  Apparently the judge told her she needs to contact her Parenting Consultant to work this issue out. 
#37
I thought about that too Tigger.

Thanks!
#38
Thank you. 
#39
General Issues / Writing the judge a letter...
Sep 06, 2011, 10:37:37 AM
DH and BM had a hearing about a month ago.  BM has moved about 60 miles away from where they were living before (and DH). 

Among onther things, BM requested a change in parenting schedule and drop off points - because of the move.  At the hearing BM and DH agreed that even with the move if DH could get the kids to school on Friday's (as he did before the  move) the schedule could stay the same.

So, the judge didn't change the schedule.  And he didn't change the exchange point either.  Once BM realized this she wrote him a letter requesting he change the exchange point. She stated she can't get to the current location on time due to school release times. 

DH drove up to the school and back at the same time of day BM would be (to bring the kids to him).  He was able to make it on time, but it was close.  So, DH offered an alternate exchange point - one that has DH driving the same distance as the 'old' exchange point (but in a different direction).  The one BM wants is halfway between our house and her new house, 60 miles away. 

When DH first found out BM wrote the judge a letter, DH contacted his attorney.  Attorney told him the judge won't change an order because of a letter - you can't litigate through the mail.  DH shouldn't worry about it.

Now today, BM is telling DH that she talked to the clerk again, and the judge is responding to her letter.  This concerns us.  If the exchange point is changed to where BM wants it, it would interrupt our schedule with the kids (dinner time, karate class). 

Is it possible for the judge to change an order without input from DH?
#40
I don't think the courts would not award custoday because you're unemployed.  You would have to mainatin a place to live though.  I don't think having more of your income available would be a consideration to the court since it's assumed the child support is spent for the child anyway. 

Has your daughter been to the doctor regarding her finger?  Could a doctor determine by the injury how it was inflicted?