Writing the judge a letter...

[Apple]

DH and BM had a hearing about a month ago.  BM has moved about 60 miles away from where they were living before (and DH). 

Among onther things, BM requested a change in parenting schedule and drop off points - because of the move.  At the hearing BM and DH agreed that even with the move if DH could get the kids to school on Friday's (as he did before the  move) the schedule could stay the same.

So, the judge didn't change the schedule.  And he didn't change the exchange point either.  Once BM realized this she wrote him a letter requesting he change the exchange point. She stated she can't get to the current location on time due to school release times. 

DH drove up to the school and back at the same time of day BM would be (to bring the kids to him).  He was able to make it on time, but it was close.  So, DH offered an alternate exchange point - one that has DH driving the same distance as the 'old' exchange point (but in a different direction).  The one BM wants is halfway between our house and her new house, 60 miles away. 

When DH first found out BM wrote the judge a letter, DH contacted his attorney.  Attorney told him the judge won't change an order because of a letter - you can't litigate through the mail.  DH shouldn't worry about it.

Now today, BM is telling DH that she talked to the clerk again, and the judge is responding to her letter.  This concerns us.  If the exchange point is changed to where BM wants it, it would interrupt our schedule with the kids (dinner time, karate class). 

Is it possible for the judge to change an order without input from DH?

[Simplydad]

To put it simply....the BM is lying.

To change anything DH would need notification and be able to object.  An order cannot be changed without a hearing.

[Apple]

Thank you. 

[tigger]

Now today, BM is telling DH that she talked to the clerk again, and the judge is responding to her letter.

That could mean that he's writing a letter to her attorney telling her that writing him is inappropriate and not allowed.  Responding to her letter doesn't mean he's doing what she wants . . . though it says a lot about her that she interpreted it that way.

[Apple]

I thought about that too Tigger.

Thanks!

[Apple]

BM got a letter back (we didn't see it - at least not yet).  Apparently the judge told her she needs to contact her Parenting Consultant to work this issue out. 

[Davy]

Does anybody want to guess how many lifes have been detrimentally impacted when some dipshit judge steps way outside jurisprudence with personal correspondence to a party in a custody issue .. no matter how harmless it may appear

[Apple]

I agree.

However I'm glad he responded in this case, BM was of the mind that she could continue her behavior (she was not following the court order) until she heard back from the judge.   Apparently she believes sending him letter suspended the court order and she was free to do whatever she wanted until she was told AGAIN that she can't.

Hopefully he directed her to NOT contact him that way again.
And, it doesn't appear the judge sent a copy of his letter to DH or to DH's attorney - even though BM's letter notes that she sent DH a copy...