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Author Topic: Buying Cadillac's with support  (Read 4652 times)

leftoverinmn

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Buying Cadillac's with support
« on: Nov 27, 2004, 11:11:59 PM »
Hi everybody!! I'm new here, thought I'd throw down a question here, since every other forum I've been to has been little help.

I live in MN, my bf pays his Xwife over $1000 in support for their three kids. She just bought a new Caddy! Oh, it's nice, tan leather interior, gold rims, onstar. However, the children have no winter jackets. At parent teacher conferences, the youngest girl had on her sister's old shoes. They are clothed like street urchins, they didn't get new clothes for school this fall. Their mother said it wasn't in the budget. I took them out yesterday, and bought shoes for the girls, and winter jackets for all three. I sew patches on their jeans for them, dad can't afford to buy new ones as he's been run into poverty.

Is there any legal recourse that can be taken for misuse of child support? I understand that Cadillac's have the highest government crash test rating, and are safe cars to haul the children around in, but they have no decent clothes! At conferences, she was carrying a SPAMSPAMSPAM Marukami Speedy handbag. They go for over a thousand dollars. Is this legal for her to splurge the child support on herself when the children have no winter jackets?


Wi-Mom

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #1 on: Nov 28, 2004, 08:45:48 AM »
Frustrating isn't it? Honestly your DH has absolutely no say in what she spends that money on. I'm sure your only recourse is to go back to court.

THE BEST divorce attorneys happen to be right in your neck of the woods.. and they have a bulletin board where you can post questions such as these, and an awesome attorney (He's known around here as LAWMOE) can tell you what options you have in MN. If you go to court I'd hire them. Here's their site....


http://www.divorceprofessionals.com/

Best wishes.. and be prepared for the most frustrating years of your life because it never ends.

wendl

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #2 on: Nov 28, 2004, 11:48:41 AM »
All I can say is I know exactly how you feel and many of us here do to.

I know if my ex ever wanted to know what I spend the cs I get (when I get it) I could show him receipts for eveything. I spend my cs (when I get it on my son)

But some cp's don't ,they just want to bleed the other parent dry, and that doesn't help the kids as the ncp cannot afford to buy clothing while the kids are in their care (due to the cp not providing clothing for overnights)

Personally I think each state should make the cp get the cs credit card and provide the ncp with the monthly statement which shows what the cs has been spent on (yea like that will every happen, but I think it would be a good idea, if I got cs on a regular basis, I would have no problem doing this and giving my ex the statement.



**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

joni

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #3 on: Nov 28, 2004, 12:57:12 PM »

Our situation is not as bad but just as frustrating.  Our atty told us the only way a custodial parent can be held accountable for child support is if they're not providing for their children.  Sounds like your case is very close to this.  You need to get 3rd parties to vouch that kids aren't provided for, like their teachers or parents of their friends.  If it's just your BF and the BM going back and forth in court, it'll just end up being a he said/she said and go nowhere.

leftoverinmn

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #4 on: Nov 30, 2004, 07:37:34 PM »
I'm livid. Absolutely enraged.

Dad was chatting online with his son last night. Mommy dearest confiscated the boots that I bought for the children.  Appearently, Doc Martins are affiliated with white supremasists and neo-nazis. Funny thing, considering I bought them and I'm half Jewish!!!!!

But I guess she knows better then I, as she has a degree in Women's Studies. WHAT IS THAT! WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DEGREE IN "WOMEN'S STUDIES"!!

Sell tires???

I want those boots back, dammit. Oh, I could spit. GRRRRR!!


stepmomtwo1

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #5 on: Dec 01, 2004, 08:19:32 AM »
>>
>Personally I think each state should make the cp get the cs
>credit card and provide the ncp with the monthly statement
>which shows what the cs has been spent on (yea like that will
>every happen, but I think it would be a good idea, if I got cs
>on a regular basis, I would have no problem doing this and
>giving my ex the statement.



This would be a great idea! Prove that you actually spend that money on things that the child "needs"

You are not alone at all my dear. Last year bb took us back to court for more money because she could show "need" for more. We barley make ends meet and she hasn't worked a day in 15 years...how can you need money but not see the need to work? Hummm I'm confused about that one...we need money and guess what ? We both have jobs. Amazing concept isn't it?

Well we only have 9 months of cs left and the ex just bought a tanning bed. It might be her last major purchase on our money but I'm sure there will be a few more before Sept. gets here.

It's so wrong that the kids do without so she can drive a new car..I hope the kids actually see what you and their dad do for them. Many times in situations like yoursthe ex works hard at trying to make herself look like the great parent even though she's doing nothing to help the kids.

There are some great ex's out there too bad we didn't get one.



joni

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #6 on: Dec 01, 2004, 09:59:40 AM »

Now you know to keep the boots at your house.  This mom is always going to find a way to stick it to you guys.  Stop giving her ammo.   Give her enough rope, she'll hand herself with these kids.

leftoverinmn

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #7 on: Dec 01, 2004, 07:22:41 PM »
Grrrr!

I guess it's tuition in the school of life. What good do boots do when they can only wear them 8 days a month?

The jackets are gone as well. Carhart supports 2nd amendment rights according to her.

Thank you guys so much. It really means alot to me, knowing there are others out there going throught the same thing. I appreciate your time, and I'm truely glad you're here.

joni

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #8 on: Dec 01, 2004, 10:26:54 PM »

But those 8 days a month those kids are at your house will be the best days of the month for them.  They'll be warm and clean and well fed and LOVED!  

And your stepchildren will know you for this.  They already do.....

patton

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RE: Texas has a new law if you provide more than $750 per month
« Reply #9 on: Dec 02, 2004, 08:35:16 AM »
Texas had a new law enacted last year.  If a CP gets more than $750 per month in C/S  the NCP can require an accounting of what the money is spent on for the children.

Don't know exactly how this works and if other states have a law similar to this or not.

joni

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HOLY MOLY!!!!
« Reply #10 on: Dec 02, 2004, 04:13:34 PM »

Do you have a link to this law.  I'd like to read it for myself.  I think this is an amazing law.

KAT

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OH PLEASE!!!
« Reply #11 on: Dec 02, 2004, 04:38:57 PM »
Joni, don't do the happy dance yet. You know how easy it is for them to pad those bills? Let's see, single parent with one child. HALF of the rent/mtg half of the electric/phone, half of AUTO insurance, half cable/phone, half of LINENS/bath supplies, half the salt/pepper, half the cleaning supplies/detergent/  half of this half of that. You'd be amazed!!!!! My ex went thru this with his ex wife as per their court order she had to. After the first year it was JOKE.
What we need to see are reciepts that NOT ONLY show where the NCP's money is going but also WHERE THE SHARE OF THE CP's money is coming from & WHERE are they getting it?
If they can't prove they have an INCOME & therefore are UNABLE to fiancially support the child then perhaps it's best to change custody to the parent who can best financially afford to do so. And I'm talking step-parent income here either.
WHEW, okay, off my soapbox.
KAT

wendl

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RE: OH PLEASE!!!
« Reply #12 on: Dec 02, 2004, 06:54:01 PM »
Kat I couldn't agree more,

I think all CP (me being one) should have to use the cs rechargable Visa cards, each month cs is put onto this credit card, and monthly statements are sent out on where the money was spent. I think ALL cp's should have to use these and then send the ncp's a copy of the monthly statements.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

joni

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RE: OH PLEASE!!!
« Reply #13 on: Dec 02, 2004, 07:04:02 PM »

Love what you said, I agree, I'm tired of the whining about not being able to afford to raise the child if CS is not increased.  If the child is such a burden and she cost so much money to maintain, give her to me.  I won't charge ya rent!

wendl

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RE: OH PLEASE!!!
« Reply #14 on: Dec 02, 2004, 07:16:39 PM »
LMAO as a CP who rarely sees cs and has rarely seen if for 12yrs I get excited if I get $40. But I work and my son does not go without.  I do not depend on my ex for cs, I can fully raise my son financially without his money and have been doing just that.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

MYSONSDAD

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A FEW THOUGHTS FOR U..........
« Reply #15 on: Dec 02, 2004, 07:43:34 PM »
I question, why a caddy, other good cars out there without the high sticker price.

And I would bet those kids see for themselves. Much more then you know. They already know who truly love and care about their well being.

See what you can do about neighbors,  friends parents, teachers and counselors working with you to make things better for those kids.

I would also check to see if basics, such as the utilities are paid, food on the table, heat in the home. These are must haves and I bet she might be behind on a few things.

My ex does not supply our sons essentials like warm clothing, I supply what he needs to be warm, if she does not give it back, I ask her for it. But he comes first, so if something does not get returned, at least I know he was warm and he knows it to. He will remember who put his coat on him, who buys shoes that fit, they DO SEE!

With this continuing, won't be long, I will be living in a box on the nearest corner....

Just a thought, keep your eyes open for garage sales in the nicer neighborhoods, might find some good deals and then if she does not return them, your not out much.

MAYBE NCP'S SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND HAVE RESALES SHOPS JUST FOR THEM. So many of us buy clothes and other things that are only used a few days a month and can only be worn for a short time. I for one, have packed away clothes with the tags still on, hate to get rid of them, but they no longer fit.

KAT

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Wonderful idea!!
« Reply #16 on: Dec 04, 2004, 06:26:29 PM »
I have boys 4-5 summer clothing, some younger winter stuff...toys. To be honest I'd rather send it out for free to members then give it to charity or give it away on freecycle.
All the b.s. including support ends for us in 283 days. While we aren't going to be rolling it I'd sure like to help anyone that we can.

Regards;
KAT

joni

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ain't it always the way?
« Reply #17 on: Dec 04, 2004, 10:06:10 PM »

the extremes we see here.  we either have CP like yourself, who never gets any money.  

Or we have NCP, like my DH, who pays his ex over $20,000 a year in child support and an Ex wife who's whining she can't afford anything for the child.  go figure.....

leftoverinmn

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RE: Wonderful idea!!
« Reply #18 on: Dec 05, 2004, 02:16:13 PM »
Wendl,

I know exactly what you mean about getting excited over $40. I just wish his dad would come around and spend time with him. I'd give up all the child support, and forgive the $12,000 in arrears he's racked up if he would just let his son love him.

Child support can never, ever replace a daddy's love. In a perfect world, all single parents would understand that.

wendl

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RE: Wonderful idea!!
« Reply #19 on: Dec 05, 2004, 02:25:01 PM »
ME to, but after 12yrs I am not getting my hopes up.

Luckily my son has a great stepdad who cares about him.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

cathy

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Oh, but it could be interesting in some cases....
« Reply #20 on: Dec 05, 2004, 05:38:57 PM »
I have always thought there should be some form of accountability for CS - but yes, it be very easy to pad the bills.  But as least it would be somthing.

Now it could really get interesting when comparing it to a financial deposition.  I know when PBFH had the kids, she filled out a financial affidavit.  At the time, we were paying $1390/month in CS.  Her total expense for the kids as listed on the affidavit was around $1000.  Would have been interesting to see who she laid out the spending of the CS.

Funny thing - in one of the last conversation before we got custody of the children turned to child support.  Some how, my husband had called to discuss going to 50/50 custody (week to week) and PBFH turned it into a discussion on child support (now realize, nothing was said about cutting child support if we went 50/50 and we had not intended that at all).

Anyway, she started ranting about "fair" and that the child support didn't cover half of the kids needs.  That is was costing around $300 in gas just to take the son to school and back.

Hmmm - so these 3 kids cost over $2780/month???  Yeah - right!  Oh and let's see - half of $300 is $150 - - - so there we have a partial accounting.  Now that just leaves $1240 to go!

Now on the other side of the coin - - - we now have custody of the 2 kids who are minors, 2 teenage girls.  CS is $340/month.  Now, I really don't think it would be difficult to account for $340/month being spent on this 2 girls!!

momof2

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RE: Texas has a new law if you provide more than $750 per month
« Reply #21 on: Dec 08, 2004, 10:26:04 AM »
Is this new law mentioned on the Texas Attorney General's official website?  I don't receive that much in child support, but I'm curious to read up on it.

momof2

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RE: Texas has a new law if you provide more than $750 per month
« Reply #22 on: Dec 08, 2004, 11:24:49 AM »
I've searched the Texas Statutes Family Code online at http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/fa.toc.htm
and found no mention of this new law.

chasefox

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #23 on: Jan 02, 2005, 11:03:55 PM »
I agree with you Wendy.  We the ncp, don't mind paying if the money is used for the children.  The cp should me made accountable for the (TAX FREE) money they receive.

spinner

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RE: Buying Cadillac's with support
« Reply #24 on: Jan 30, 2005, 10:45:53 PM »
don't mean to be looking for a fight but would sugar in the tank help her understand the money wasn't well spent ?

 

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