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Author Topic: Why do so many CP's want to give bad advice on message forums?  (Read 4015 times)

beeboah

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RE: I never said that it was law. I said that it was only my opinion.
« Reply #10 on: Oct 27, 2005, 08:42:47 AM »
I DO FEEL that your subjective opinion was uncalled for. How come others could just come on and give me a straight answer pertaining directly to the post. Again I "assume" that the NCP you deal with treats you like crap.

Sorry but I do all of my work pro se, and have been quite succesful at doing that.

I will continue to seek advice using the available utilities. (up to and including this forum)

Not everyone can afford a lawyer. I wouldn't get one even if I could afford one based on previous performances by my prior lawyer.


cinb85

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Good Luck!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 27, 2005, 08:44:09 AM »
nm

beeboah

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RE: Good Luck!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 27, 2005, 08:44:59 AM »
Cheers, Cheerioooooooo!

MYSONSDAD

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RE: I am confused....
« Reply #13 on: Oct 27, 2005, 08:59:07 AM »
I was confused about this remark.
>It seems that no matter what message forum I go to, there is someone (or more than one person) who needs to go beyond telling me what I don't want to hear. It seems that when I post a simple question about how to proceed legally I am greeted with alot of animosity even though no one knows the particulars of my situation. Are people out there that eager to blindly defend their greed and do anything that they can do to maintain the status qo concerning custody and child support?<

And, as I stated with my post, WE DO UNDERSTAND. All of us here are facing many of the same situations. We all have different experiences that may or may not help you. We are all here to help the other.

When someone posts without more details to their situation, it does make it harder to give you a clear cut answer. If you lost your job 'beyond your control', getting support modified should not be difficult.

Ref

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Some advice on how to use these boards
« Reply #14 on: Oct 27, 2005, 09:04:54 AM »
If you are looking fo straight legal advice, go to Soc's board. Go by his guidlines and he will give you very simple advice. You can bank on his information being accuate and if you are going Pro Se, he is an AMAZING resource.

The other boards on this site are invaluable for anicdotal advice based on experience. The people on the board are very well intentioned for the most part and usually admit if they are being biased if you press them on it. That is the difference between this site and others. On boards like Free Advice, people are just mean and judgemental.

It seems that you got defensive immediately when people questioned you on your motives thinking they were going to judge you like other boards. People usually need more info to help you. Many judges will look at extreme circumstances and give you some slack. This can only be the case if the judge CAN do that (unlike what I have seen in Florida about CS arrears). People have experiences that are from their State that may not apply to yours. Maybe the background people were asking would be relevant in their State. That is why for real legal help, go to Soc.

I am sorry that you have had such bad results from other boards. I can tell you that I was flamed pretty good on Free Advice for even suggesting that Dh try to lower his support for a lost job. It is not a good feeling. I will tell you that that is a VERY rare occurance here so try to take any follow-up questions as a sincere effort to help you and not as a personal attack.

Really, good luck.
Ref


Kent

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RE: Where's the bad advice?
« Reply #15 on: Oct 27, 2005, 09:06:52 AM »
Being a divorced parent with the other parent moving 1hr15min away, taking no regards to how that affected our child, wihtout making any effort to change the schedule, I kind of have to agree that moving in that fashion is a bad thing indeed.

In my opinion, the logical order would be:
1) Determine when and where to move
2) Determine how it will affect the child(ren) and create a possible alternate schedule
3) Come to an agreement on those changes with the other parent
4) Initiate the moving process

Moving first will put you in a bad position. First off, YOU cannot keep yourself to the current schedule anymore. Why would the other parent be inconvenienced because you decided to up and go without getting all your arrangements straightened out first? It puts you in a bad negotiating position.
Second, if you can't agree, and it goes to court, no judge will feel any sympathy for you.

But the most important part: How is all this aggrevation going to benefit your child(ren)? At almost any age, they will know exactly what is going on, and any friction between you and the ex will have a negative effect on them.

I currently live 50 miles from where I work. I own 5 acres of land only 23 miles from where I work. However, building and moving there would create an additional 40 minutes between me and the other parent. So I have a choice; Move, and become an inconvenience to my ex and our child, or stay put and carry the commute myself. I don't have to think long about that; I'm staying where I'm at.

Kent!

beeboah

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RE: I am confused....
« Reply #16 on: Oct 27, 2005, 09:08:41 AM »
I was not talking specifically about this board. However, when you say "WE" you do not speak for everyone.

I do understand the need for details in certain circumstances. However, there are certainly times that people will seemingly ask you "loaded" questions to deter you from proceeding.

Historically, all this has ever done for me was just give the next TROLL a reason to tell you why you (as a bad person) should not or may not.

Why would anyone care about why I didn't get an order modified before I left? I mean seriously, for whatever reason....couldn't, didn't, didn't care....whatever the reason it has nothing to do with why someone wants to get it done TODAY.

TODAY IS A NEW DAY, AND THE RIGHT DAY TO FIX THINGS UP. This is what I believe.

beeboah

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RE: Where's the bad advice?
« Reply #17 on: Oct 27, 2005, 09:24:38 AM »
I disagree. I am not rich, you own 5 acres of land. You are talking from the perspective of a person who has money.

Where I come from there were few jobs that could support "child support".

What is the point of living in the same place if all I could do is afford to pay support and not to be able to put gas in my car thereby inhibiting visitation?

I can actaully see my child more from 1000 miles away than I could in the area of the child's residence!

No judge having no sympathy? PURE BIAS! Then how come he signed my stipulation which allows interstate visitation?

I don't need to go through that process. I have already completed it.

My examples were just examples.

beeboah

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RE: Some advice on how to use these boards
« Reply #18 on: Oct 27, 2005, 09:30:00 AM »
What is the link to SOC?

I know that people have different experiences based on their State and I FOR ONE think that these matters should be federalized.

MYSONSDAD

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RE: I am confused....
« Reply #19 on: Oct 27, 2005, 09:35:06 AM »
When I said 'WE' it was in general terms. Most of us here are more then willing to jump in when another NCP has an issue or concern. Most replies are from personal experience. Posting links that will put you in the right direction.

You have been given sound answers. Post to Soc. His advice is very realiable. But without posting more specifics, he may ask you to do so. General questions get general answers.

What makes SPARC a step above the other forums, is MOST posters DO CARE.

Good Luck!

"Children learn what they live"

 

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