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Author Topic: *URGENT*Can I Take Custody Of Newborn Son?  (Read 13530 times)

Kitty C.

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Re: *URGENT*Can I Take Custody Of Newborn Son?
« Reply #20 on: Jan 02, 2009, 02:34:48 PM »
Now this is a revelation...........
 
IMHO, your biggest concern right now shouldn't be about custody, but the baby's HEALTH.  If she's taking that many drugs (and you can just about bet her OB doesn't know....or she doesn't even have one), regardless of prescription or not, she could be doing serious damage to the fetus.  It could possibly be born addicted, brain damaged, or who knows what.  This is out right child (fetus) abuse.
 
What I'm about to write here may not make sense at first, so you may have to read it carefully a few times.  YOU are and have been aware of her drug abuse.  I'm not saying this is what will happen, but given the current justice system, anything is possible.  But if the authorities are made aware of the abuse going on by someone else (say the staff at the hospital at delivery?), either before or after birth, AND they also discover that you knew all along what she was taking and didn't say anything, it is possible (depending on jurisdiction and 'atmosphere' of the local system) that you BOTH could be charged with abuse.  The reason you could be included is because you knew what was going on and did nothing.  And I'm not even talking about trying to get her treatment, I'm talking about reporting it to the authorities.  Even if they do nothing with it (even initially), at least it is documented that you reported it.  It's called CYA...........
 
And I think you're getting hung up on the issue of wanting to return to FL.  The only way that will come up is during mediation and/or custody hearings.  Like I and others have said, there is no way you can take the child out of state unless you have the approval of the court.  If you're so concerned about telling her that you're leaving, let your custody petition do the talking for you, when you file that and parenting plan with the court.  But in order to do so, you will need to file for joint legal and physical custody.  If the court also determines that she is a threat to the baby (due to the in vitro drug abuse), you may have to request sole legal custody, so that her possible impaired state of mind won't be a factor in making major decisions in the child's life.
 
But you will also have to make provisions in any custody agreement in the possibility that she gets clean.  If she can shape up and be a parent, you must allow your child the opportunity to have a more extensive relationship with the mother, regardless of distance.  As it is, you might want to consider asking for supervised visitation until she proves to the court she is cleaning up her act.
 
I could go on and on here, but the bottom line is (IMHO) the issues of you returning to FL with the baby and trying to tell the ex should be farther down the list of priorities right now.  First, report the abuse for the sake of the unborn child's life.  Second, get an atty. in the ex's jurisdiction and get things set up so that as soon as the baby is born, you can petition for paternity (no, your name on the birth cert. does NOT prove this) and custody.  Third, be VERY much aware that the child may come into this world seriously impaired.  Given what you've stated, I wouldn't be surprised if it's born with severe respiratory distress, at the very least.  And if the child is impaired in any way (and depending on the severity), it may be in the hospital for quite some time initially and could possibly have long-term or life long effects.
 
Once the child is born, you file your petitions, and the ex is served, then she'll know that you want to take the child back to FL.  If she doesn't fight you in court about it and the court gives their approval, then you can leave with the child.  That's the LEGAL way to do it.  But your very first priority should be the health of that child, above all else.
 
BTW, the other posters weren't necessarily 'attacking' you because of your unwise pick of whom to have an affair with, I think it was the fact that you thought it was okay to do it in the first place.  Even if you were separated (not divorced), it's still not right (IMO) to be looking to another relationship when you haven't finished the last one legally.  It's very possible this could come out in court and, depending on how conservative the system is there, make it more difficult for you.  Be that as it may, what's done can't be undone, but forewarned is forearmed, I always say.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


 

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