REF!!!!!!!!!! It's great to hear from you!!!
I can completely understand your trepidation about reuniting with
SD. I agree...involving your 3 y.o. into this, without knowing what the outcome might be (given the history), might not be the best idea. But I think that, if you do find her, just letting her know that you and
DH are there for her and still love her no matter what would still be a good thing. Maybe leave it up to her if she wants to reunite?
Stick around for awhile, k?