My stepdaughter goes through the same crap .Except They moved here far fom dad , We'll call stepdaughter V, I CAN SEE how it makes V feel good in the very few times that her Dad has contacted Her , And how let down she is with no contact , Even an email from Him brightened up her life a bit , I can see how V , Has huge resistance to Me , I believe this is because I am not her bio Dad , Ther are some problems there because I am not her real Dad, When she lived near her dad ,He would say he would come to see her , Then he would have some BS excuse ,V began saying She didn't want to go with him etc, I think because He let her down so ,so Many times , But No matter how Many times he let her down she feels good if he communicates in any way ,
So "get it " I see this as very damageing to her self [ Not a psych at all ] So for lack of better words , Its about the fact that her REAL DAD doesn't even pay attention to her ,And it hurts her , I have seen her brighten up for some considerable time after he even sent her any thing , I feel that it would be good if He even talked to her once a month or three times a year, Its way better than nothing , My wife for the most part doesn't talk bad about him , except I feel in a co-miserating sort of way to agree with V's hurt feelings , From what I see oN this side of the fence ,
Yes You have a reason to put a certain condition on this , But on the other hand you may have to take what You can get for your child , I would say let Him care for the child for a while , A long weekend ,Make the condition that Dad Keep the child And tell him Your child needs you ,
I know for sure If V's Dad took her for even a while once a year , That is better than nothing , And Maybe your Bio Dad [Ex] Is totally disorganised etc , My input ; Send him a letter stateing that He needs to have regular contact , And You see that it is bad for child to have him doing what He has been ,And You will cooperate as much as possible to make visits work for him , Heck don't you need a break? . Call Dad and say , "Cowboy up "I need to have a life come get your child I have things to do , Try to make him feel important , I See how you would want conditions put down , Laid out , Carved in stone , But look what You are dealing with , I know most of us have a reaction to someone , Especialy, our ex trying to force there conditions on us < think about it ,
You will have a much healthier child With a occasional Dad then NO DAD AT ALL!!!! wich is the worse of evils , However I will state :
I agree with One condition , If he say's he is going to show then there should be a condition , That He shows up , If He doesn't then I see this as very painful for V , But on the other hand Its as painful to never see her dad , I am rambling , But I still see some contact as better than zero contact ,