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Author Topic: need help with visitation request letter... she's driving me crazy now...  (Read 9028 times)


  • Guest
hiya.... i filed for paternity in june.... dna test was delayed... atty went on vacation... filed for a custody hearing mid-august... september i am legally the father.... early october mediator calls me to set up appt, i say i will be there ANY TIME the bm says... bm takes the ball and schedules mediation on 12-5-03... bm cancels appt at 1pm on 12-5-03. honestly i expected this and told the mediator so. she said i filed so it was my option to not reschedule mediation and send it straight to court, and i exercised it.  i've spent 20min with my son since june 15th. at the end of july bm set up a lunch date then did not show up. i called 6 times within an hour to find out what happened and she filed phone harassment charges. now the popo say that if any member of my family tries to contact her i will be arrested. so i have to write a letter to request some visitation...

I hope all is well with you. I would like an update on my son's health and development at your earliest convenience. Also, my family and I would like a chance to visit with "BABYBOY" over the holidays, to share in the magic of the christmas season. If there is any time during the week of Dec. 24 through Dec. 31 that would be good for a visit, or any time beofre that, please let me know.

Your Son's Father,

it's a rough rough draft.... i know all the wording's not quite right.... what say you??



  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #1 on: Dec 08, 2003, 08:48:23 PM »
I believe there is form letters on here you could look at for a guideline but I'm thinking you should include a response date...like, please respond by Dec. 15 (or something like that?)...


  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #2 on: Dec 08, 2003, 09:43:59 PM »
all the letters i've found here assume there is a visitation order... we were scheduled for mediation today but bm refused to show, according to the mediator....


  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #3 on: Dec 09, 2003, 06:53:01 AM »
Be careful when stating "at your earliest convenience". This is very vague. I agree that you need to put a response date. I would use a form letter simply as a guideline.
Good luck.


  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #4 on: Dec 09, 2003, 07:27:02 AM »
Starting it off with "PBFH" probably isn't a good idea...:-) , but the rest is good.  But be more specific than "at your earliest convenience"....Best of luck to you...


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RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #5 on: Dec 09, 2003, 07:54:48 AM »
Go to the mediation session anyway and see if there is any kind of documentation they will give you stating this was scheduled more than once and mother refused to show, then File Contempt!

Use everything you have including the  messages from her stating the accusation of abuse was made to hinder your access to your boy.

I would not make any attempt to contact her at all directly as she may try to use it against you because of the protection order. (doesn't matter if the order only says phone contact, she could try to have you arrested if there is any contact) I would ask the mediatators if there is anything they can do for you to facilitate visits during the holidays. Also ask them for suggestions on scheduling visits.

Your currect CO is for supervised visits, but I am assuming there is some type of schedule on when, where, how and who. You will need both a noterized statement from whomever is supposed to supervise visits and a promise from them to appear at a hearing if at all possible.

ANd one more thing NEVER, EVER take her word for anything. ALWAYS appear for any scheduled hearings unless you have something in writing from the court stating the hearing was postponed or cancelled!

The Witch


  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #6 on: Dec 09, 2003, 06:31:10 PM »
well... it's about 29 hours too late to go to the mediation anyway.... :)
i think you may have me confused with someone else... there is not a visitation order yet. that's what the mediation was supposed to be for... the county is so backed up they do not hear custody and visitation separately and combine them into one case.
also, there is not, to the best of my knowledge, a protection order. i only had one phone conversation with an officer (one in early aug, one in mid-oct) during the last one he told me he was sending the case to the DA, and that if any member of my family tried to contact bm that i could be arrested.

trust me, if bm had called to say that she rescheduled mediation i would have played along... then showed up ready and rearing to go. i don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth anymore.


  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter...
« Reply #7 on: Dec 09, 2003, 07:34:02 PM »
I think it's fine except give her a deadline.

With no order in place, keep pressing until you get one.


  • Guest
UPDATE 12-21-03 - bm forwarding mail to her parents' house?
« Reply #8 on: Dec 21, 2003, 08:14:43 PM »

i mailed the letter out on fri 12-12-03... they attempted on mon 12-15 at her apartment and then on wed 12-17 there was a notice left in a different city, assumedly at her parents' house. i requested a response by 12-20 and have recieved nothing.
i want to mail another letter tomorrow. should i send it to her apt again, her parents' house (to B.M., % her parents), or her lawyer? her lawyer is going on vacation after xmas till mid-january so there's a convienent excuse for the bm not to grant any visitation.


  • Guest
RE: need help with visitation request letter... updated...
« Reply #9 on: Jan 02, 2004, 04:08:41 AM »
all bm's mail is being forwarded to her parents house. 90% likely bm and son are living there. first two certified letters are still sitting in the post office but the first class copies are probably making it through. i have received no response yet and am mailing a third request today.


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