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Author Topic: Going to Court.....Need a Devil's Advocate  (Read 8798 times)

awakenlynn

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Going to Court.....Need a Devil's Advocate
« on: Jan 25, 2008, 07:11:36 PM »
My husband is going to court next month.  Here is the background.  Ex moved to TX in 2003 (her husband in military).  My husband was in military until 2004, so IL kept jurisdiction until 2007.

In 2007, ex had visitation jurisdiction moved from IL to TX.  She has now filed a petition to get the visitation order that she registered in TX to be vacated. (The current order says every spring break--we pay tranportation, 8 weeks in summer--ex pays transportation, and alternating Thanksgiving/Christmas break--we pay).  We have had this order since 2003.  Ex states that if judge will not vacate the order then she would like the TX standard order in place with changes. She wants every other spring break(a change from TX standard order), 6 weeks in the summer and alternating Thanksgiving breaks and splitting Christmas up.

We don't have a problem splitting Christmas up.  But we would ask that ex pay for the transportation on the years we are paying for Thanksgiving, since we can't afford 2 tickets that close together.We would ask the judge to more clearly define the transportation issue.  Ex refuses to allow daughter to fly on a layover flight (SD will be 15 in a few weeks).

SD has flown with a layover before.  We purchased Christmas tickets and ex drove her from TX to our house and then kept SD out of school even when we gave SD up a day early in order for her to drive back to TX.

Anyways, as the for Devil's Advocate.  Ex is claiming a substantial change in circumstance.  I am looking for what everyone would think to be a substantial change.  I want to make sure we have everything cover that ex could possibly be thinking of.

Thanks,
Lynn


brwneyedmom

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There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #1 on: Jan 25, 2008, 11:09:27 PM »
what you have described.  She registered the same order in TX that was in effect.  Nothing new has occurred in the meantime except that your SD has gotten older.
I remember the tale you had for winter break and the effort your PB went to in order to mess up visitation.  THAT may be the change that she is talking about.
I might argue that with her move from IL to TX, she can provide all the transportation and then she would have nothing to complain about with the layover flights.  Just an evil idea....
Doesn't she have to provide her argument prior to court so that you can prepare for it?  I would think that discovery would apply in this case.  

Davy

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RE: AGREE There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #2 on: Jan 26, 2008, 10:37:17 AM »
Agree.  And, as I remember, Texas statues have a 3 prong test to modifiy a custody order and they are not as much nilly willy as Illinois to which she is probably accustomed.  I've understood the reason to satisfy the 3 prong test requirement is primarily for docket management.

Just an opinion !!!!

awakenlynn

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Going to Court.....Need a Devil's Advocate
« Reply #3 on: Jan 25, 2008, 07:11:36 PM »
My husband is going to court next month.  Here is the background.  Ex moved to TX in 2003 (her husband in military).  My husband was in military until 2004, so IL kept jurisdiction until 2007.

In 2007, ex had visitation jurisdiction moved from IL to TX.  She has now filed a petition to get the visitation order that she registered in TX to be vacated. (The current order says every spring break--we pay tranportation, 8 weeks in summer--ex pays transportation, and alternating Thanksgiving/Christmas break--we pay).  We have had this order since 2003.  Ex states that if judge will not vacate the order then she would like the TX standard order in place with changes. She wants every other spring break(a change from TX standard order), 6 weeks in the summer and alternating Thanksgiving breaks and splitting Christmas up.

We don't have a problem splitting Christmas up.  But we would ask that ex pay for the transportation on the years we are paying for Thanksgiving, since we can't afford 2 tickets that close together.We would ask the judge to more clearly define the transportation issue.  Ex refuses to allow daughter to fly on a layover flight (SD will be 15 in a few weeks).

SD has flown with a layover before.  We purchased Christmas tickets and ex drove her from TX to our house and then kept SD out of school even when we gave SD up a day early in order for her to drive back to TX.

Anyways, as the for Devil's Advocate.  Ex is claiming a substantial change in circumstance.  I am looking for what everyone would think to be a substantial change.  I want to make sure we have everything cover that ex could possibly be thinking of.

Thanks,
Lynn

brwneyedmom

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There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #4 on: Jan 25, 2008, 11:09:27 PM »
what you have described.  She registered the same order in TX that was in effect.  Nothing new has occurred in the meantime except that your SD has gotten older.
I remember the tale you had for winter break and the effort your PB went to in order to mess up visitation.  THAT may be the change that she is talking about.
I might argue that with her move from IL to TX, she can provide all the transportation and then she would have nothing to complain about with the layover flights.  Just an evil idea....
Doesn't she have to provide her argument prior to court so that you can prepare for it?  I would think that discovery would apply in this case.  


Davy

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RE: AGREE There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #5 on: Jan 26, 2008, 10:37:17 AM »
Agree.  And, as I remember, Texas statues have a 3 prong test to modifiy a custody order and they are not as much nilly willy as Illinois to which she is probably accustomed.  I've understood the reason to satisfy the 3 prong test requirement is primarily for docket management.

Just an opinion !!!!

awakenlynn

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RE: AGREE There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #6 on: Jan 30, 2008, 10:32:48 AM »
Hi, what is the 3 prong test you mention?  I would like to read that in the statutes.  It's been awhile since I reviewed TX statutes, but would like to look that up.

The transportation responsibility was set up when both husbands (mine and hers) were in the military.  Her's still is and we (while money is extremely tight) are fine with the way things are.  We have told ex numerous times that is she wants a 15 year old to fly nonstop than she can drive the 3 hours to Dallas, like she made us do (drive to Chicago) for 3 years.  Ex's excuse is that it is too hard to drive that highway even though she doesn't work, she doesn't volunteer, she just sits and waits for child support to play with.

Thanks,
Lynn

Davy

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RE: AGREE There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #7 on: Jan 30, 2008, 11:01:52 PM »
I stopped reviewing statues years ago but had a book simply entitled "Texas Statues" and it probably under Custody modification.
I'd google for that.

FYI one can easily whip in/out of DFW or LUV field avoiding am/pm traffic. It's best to have some NASCAR experience anywhere on I35 betwix OK City and San Anton.  Anything would be better than Spfld - Chicago.

Otherwise, I suspect her issue is so insignificant that a mod would not
be warranted.

IMHO !  

awakenlynn

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Questions the attorney brought up, need to figure out how to counter
« Reply #8 on: Jan 31, 2008, 08:17:47 PM »
Ok, spoke to our attorney, he brought up some questions he thought the other attorney would throw at my husband and I need information to help answer.

1)SD is soon to be 15 and should determine her own visit times--she has a life and friends to see over spring break and summer
    (her mother ships her off to grandmother the day after school lets up and we don't get to see her until our visit starts  and also, we get SD 10-11 weeks depending on the year, ex and TX friends get her 41-41 wks)

2)Why should we allow SD to fly layover especially after 9/11?  (attorney is trying to help us know how ex's attorney will act)

3)Ex does not work, but will not drive to the closest airport to allow daughter to fly non-stop because it is TOO HARD to navigate the highway she has to drive to get there.

4)Ex says SD is not high priority with her dad, becuase dad has to work and can not spend time with SD.  Therefore visitation should be reduced.

Any thoughts on what we can use to argue against ex?  I have some thoughts on areas, but could really use some fresh thoughts and ideas.

Thanks,
Lynn

Kitty C.

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Answer to #2...............
« Reply #9 on: Jan 31, 2008, 10:42:33 PM »
Do your homework and get the guidelines from every major airline on UAM (unaccompanied minor).  Go to the FAA, who makes the rules for all airlines, and get their rules.  I haven't read them lately, but when DS was flying, a child could fly with one layover/plane change once they turn 8 years old (almost twice as YOUNG as your SD).  In DS's case, and since he had ADHD, his dad and I decided to fly him non-stop one more year after that.  That required 1000 miles of driving for me every time he went (every summer and EO Chirstmas), since it was 250 miles to Chicago O'Hare, but DS's dad lived in Sacramento.  If DS couldn't fly to SMF, it was only 100 miles to SFO or OAK.

One thing to think about:  our custody order was written in 1994 and it was the JUDGE who ordered DS to fly.  It scared the crap out of me initially, but once I saw how diligent the airlines are with UAM's, it alleviated all of the fear.  This was an order from over 13 years ago.  It blows me away that your SD isn't flying regularly.  Every roadblock your SD's mom is putting up is just an excuse to prevent visitation, period.

As for extended lay-overs (something longer that just going gate-to-gate), all airlines have private areas where UAM's can stay and be OUT of the mainstream of the airport.  No one other than authorized airline representatives are allowed in those areas.  And before a child boards, there is a form filled out that must have both parents contact information and how to get in touch with them while the child is in the hands of the airlines.  It also has a list of spaces for signatures, for EVERY airline representative who is responsible for the child.  Say if a child has a plane change, the attendant who first signed the form hands the child off to the next attendant who will be responsible, who also signs the form.  When the child reaches the final destination, there will be a list of EVERY person who was responsible for the child while with the airline.

On one flight with DS, there was an extended layover because of weather at the destination airport.  The airline tried to contact me, but we were out of range on my cell.  So they contacted DS's dad and told him they would hold DS in their private area and feed him as well.  As soon as we got service, DS's dad got in touch with me and told me what was going on.  The airline handled the situation perfectly and there was absolutely NO cause for concern.

By the time DS was 14, he had enough frequent flyer miles for a free flight.  We paid the UAM fees, which was a small price to pay for the peace of mind.  When DS was little, he and I used to have a game called Bowl Mom Over when he'd fly home.  He'd always be the last one off, because he had to be escorted.  Once he could see me in the terminal (and I could see a big person holding the hand of a little person coming up the jetway!), he'd let go and come at me on a dead run!  I'd kneel down and he'd throw himself into my arms!  It was obvious who his mother was, but the attendant who had last responsibilty would still ask to see my ID.  

When we finalized the CO, my atty. told me NEVER to be without my ID when I picked DS up.  She told me of a time a dad went to pick up his son and was in a hurry, forgetting his wallet.  His son was standing there, crying 'Daddy, Daddy!' but the attendants would NOT release the child until he went back home to get it.

It really rubs me the wrong way when a parent tris to give 'excuses' as to why a child can't fly.  And your SD is a teenager!  With the increasing number of divorces and the distances betweeen parents, kids flying UAM is a VERY common occurance.  Even after 9/11.  And if the atty. asks why to allow after 9/11, you tell them for the same reason adults still fly, because there's no difference.  

As for her driving to the airport, all it would take is some strategic questions for the BM about her driving habits and where she drives, how much time she spends behind the wheel at any given time.  I bet you can blow holes in that excuse wide enough to walk through!  That has to be the lamest excuse I've ever heard.

And if you need any other back-up on this issue, just e-mail me!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

thesmithfamily_5

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RE: AGREE There is no change in circumstances based on
« Reply #10 on: Feb 01, 2008, 03:42:25 PM »
I think what Davy's talking about is this section.... not sure if it works for modification of visitation.... Also, "he who wants fetches" is big in TX and probably a good thing to suggest a time of modification!

by the way, you have a PM!

SUBCHAPTER B. MODIFICATION OF CONSERVATORSHIP, POSSESSION AND ACCESS, OR DETERMINATION OF RESIDENCE
Sec. 156.101.  GROUNDS FOR MODIFICATION OF ORDER ESTABLISHING CONSERVATORSHIP OR POSSESSION AND ACCESS.  The court may modify an order that provides for the appointment of a conservator of a child, that provides the terms and conditions of conservatorship, or that provides for the possession of or access to a child if modification would be in the best interest of the child and:
(1)  the circumstances of the child, a conservator, or other party affected by the order have materially and substantially changed since the earlier of:
(A)  the date of the rendition of the order;  or
(B)  the date of the signing of a mediated or collaborative law settlement agreement on which the order is based;
(2)  the child is at least 12 years of age and has filed with the court, in writing, the name of the person who is the child's preference to have the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child;  or
(3)  the conservator who has the exclusive right to designate the primary residence of the child has voluntarily relinquished the primary care and possession of the child to another person for at least six months.

thesmithfamily_5

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RE: Questions the attorney brought up, need to figure out how to counter
« Reply #11 on: Feb 01, 2008, 03:55:11 PM »
>Ok, spoke to our attorney, he brought up some questions he
>thought the other attorney would throw at my husband and I
>need information to help answer.
>
>1)SD is soon to be 15 and should determine her own visit
>times--she has a life and friends to see over spring break and
>summer

SD is still a minor and might not know what's in her best interest. She needs to be able to spend as much time as possible with all of her family, including her father's. Since there is such a great distance weekend visitation is not an option. Therefore, she needs to spend as much time as possible during the summer and holidays with father and family there.

>
>2)Why should we allow SD to fly layover especially after 9/11?
> (attorney is trying to help us know how ex's attorney will
>act)
>
>3)Ex does not work, but will not drive to the closest airport
>to allow daughter to fly non-stop because it is TOO HARD to
>navigate the highway she has to drive to get there.

My argument to this would be that SD is responsible and capable (assuming she is) to change flights and can live through a layover. If EX wants SD to have non-stop flights she she can pay for it, but that you shouldn't have to on your half of the flights.

>4)Ex says SD is not high priority with her dad, becuase dad
>has to work and can not spend time with SD.  Therefore
>visitation should be reduced.
>
How about that it doesn't sound like mom is trying to maintain/encourage a healthy relationship between SD and her father. It's important for SD to have a good relationship with both of her parents and if the roles were reversed you'd certainly do everything you could to foster SD's relationship with her mother! (kinda ties in w/ my response to question #1!)

awakenlynn

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RE: Answer to #2...............
« Reply #12 on: Feb 01, 2008, 05:52:33 PM »
Thank you for your help.  The only thing I haven't checked is FAA, both parents agreed to stay with one airline, but I do routinely check on the other airline UaM information.  SD has been flying since 2000 and she has had a flight with a layover.  One was 3 hours long, which we hated that one, but it was the only one avail.  We called SD every half hour to stay in contact.

I did have one question.  I am looking for any statistics that support us.  I am still looking, but any ideas about where to look for the number of children that fly unaccompanied each year.  I thought it would help the judge to see just how many kids the airlines fly alone each year.  Apparently this judge (in TX) prefers the layovers to be non-equipment change flights, but I already have a letter from them stating they don't have those flights between any of our airports.  I even printed pages from the website of the escort service that provides the care for the UAM's from the airports we use.

Thank you!

awakenlynn

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RE: Questions the attorney brought up, need to figure out how to counter
« Reply #13 on: Feb 01, 2008, 05:56:17 PM »
<SD and her father. It's important for SD to have a good relationship with both of her parents and if the roles were reversed you'd certainly do everything you could to foster SD's relationship with her mother!>>

Mom does exactly that.  She bashes hubby every chance she gets and we would love to have custody, but know it would never happen.  We see all the mistakes ex makes and the trouble she causes and know we could never do that to SD.

We are really keeping our fingers crossed.  Its the first time we have had court in TX and are still getting adjusted to the new laws and the way this state does things.

Thanks!

Kitty C.

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RE: Answer to #2...............
« Reply #14 on: Feb 01, 2008, 06:32:39 PM »
Since you are staying with one airline, contact their headquarters.  It's a shot in the dark, but they just might have some numbers they could give you.  Tell them why you need it.......it might help 'expedite' the situation, if you know what I mean.

'Non-equipment change flights'?  Are you kidding???  That judge either doesn't seem to live in this reality or he's being deliberately contentious.  The only airline I've ever flown that didn't have a plane change at stops was Southwest.  And then you weren't allowed to get off the plane.  That's the whole reason for a lay-over anyway, to change planes and/or direction.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

awakenlynn

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RE: Answer to #2...............
« Reply #15 on: Feb 03, 2008, 02:45:19 PM »
LOL, you and I both know where reality is.  We will have to see.  Hubby leaves in 2 days, I had a panic attack last night.  I wish I could go too.  I hate not being able to be there for both him and SD.

Attorney said this judge is kind of wishy-washy.  She can make an order one way and the next month reverse herself on the exact same issue.  I was ready the Petition we have, her Petition is so VAGUE.  I did re-read the TX standard order for cases where parents are over 100 miles apart.  It just isn't feasible for us, since we are over 1000 miles apart, BUT if ex wants the standard order for every other weekend, since she is the one that moved and she is the one requesting the order, then she can go ahead and purchase plane tickets for every other weekend and we will continue to pay for the spring break and Thanksgiving/Christmas breaks.  We would theoretically get more time that way.  I hate to say go ahead because I know it would be a pain for SD and definately not in her best interest.  As much as we want that, we can't necessarity see the judge looking at it like that.

Kitty C.

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Wait a minute, wait a minute............
« Reply #16 on: Feb 03, 2008, 04:17:57 PM »
Are you saying the BM is STILL asking for EOW and you're over 1000 miles apart?  That's insane!  Tell you what, I hope you have a really good LD parenting plan in mind to present to the court, so that you can 'emphasize' to the judge your intention is in the 'best interest of the child'.....and flying that far EOW certainly is NOT.  Just another way to 'point out' how irresponsible and unreasonable the BM is being.  The BM may be proposing that to make it impossible for you to have regular visitation, but the distance involved already prohibits that, and that's of her making, too.  And even if the BM had the money to do that or tried to tell the court she does, I would be telling the judge that money would be better spent on the child.

Man, she's a nut case!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

awakenlynn

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RE: Wait a minute, wait a minute............
« Reply #17 on: Feb 03, 2008, 06:56:08 PM »
Ex is asking for the TX standard order to take effect, but I don't think she paid attention to it.  She requests the TX standard order with 2 variations--every other spring break and we do not get SD over her birthday.

We are going to argue that this plan is definately NOT in the best interest of the child and that the order we have in effect is best.  We currently have EVERY spring break (as is the TX standard order), we have 8 weeks in the summer that do not include the week after school lets out or the week before school starts (same as the TX standard order) and alternating Christmas and Thanksgiving (this differs slightly, TX alternates Thanksgiving and splits Christmas vacation on the 26th--we would agree to the split being in the middle of the vacation around the 28th)

Ex JUST wants every other spring break--but that is the only chance we have to celebrate SD's birthday since we don't get her in her birthday month, and we celebrate her dad's birthday which is a few days before spring break starts; and she wants the summer visit to be 6wks instead of the 8wks--she wants her daughter to be avail to do things there or in IL where her maternal grandparents are (ex ships SD to grandma day after school lets out, makes grandma pick SD up at the end of dad's visit and keeps her there until whenever ex can make it back to IL or make arrangements to fly her home, sometimes only a day or so before school starts.)

I just don't think ex thought through things before she asked for them.  ALL we asked for was a clarification of transportation--such as the judge allowing layovers(no terminal changes), setting specific days and times for pick-ups and drop-offs for the summers and making ex accountable whenever she cancels and changes tickets that we purchase(we are each responsible for certain visits).  There are only 3 years and 1 spring break left, not alot of time left before SD gets to make her own choices.

Kitty C.

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RE: Wait a minute, wait a minute............
« Reply #18 on: Feb 03, 2008, 09:38:30 PM »
Then her 'inability' to think things through will hopefully come back to bite her in the a$$.  I just hope the judge does the right thing and question her 'inabilities'.

Hey, you're in IA, aren't you?  So am I.............if you need any back-up on the transportation issue, just e-mail me.  I don't have our old CO anymore.........DS's dad died 5 1/2 years ago, so I got rid of all the paperwork.  DS is now 18 anyway.  Like I said before, it really rubs me the wrong way when a parent tries to block a child from seeing the other parent just because of LD visitation.  There's absolutely NO excuse for it, unless the child cannot fly for medical/psychological reasons.  DS has had severe ADHD for the past 10 years and it never was an issue with him flying.

Get in touch if you need me!  :-)
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

awakenlynn

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RE: Wait a minute, wait a minute............
« Reply #19 on: Feb 03, 2008, 10:44:15 PM »
Thank you, I will definately keep you in mind.  Things are so screwed up with ex.  I really wish I could be there Wed.  I know people say not to let it get to you, but how can it not.  Whatever the judge decides will affect hubby, SD, and all her siblings (she has 3 brothers and 2 sisters between the 2 families)

I keep my fingers crossed and pray that ex will be caught in any of her lies.  I have pulled any documents I think might be relevant.  But hubby is bad on the stand.  He gets so rattled, he doesn't always think before he answers and then sometimes the answers are wrong.  He gets flustered so easily and I don't think the attorney understands when I tell him hubby is AWFUL on the stand and will not be the best witness, but he is the only one that can do it.

Keep me in your thoughts!

Thank you

thesmithfamily_5

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RE: Wait a minute, wait a minute............
« Reply #20 on: Feb 04, 2008, 08:48:53 AM »
>Ex is asking for the TX standard order to take effect, but I
>don't think she paid attention to it.  She requests the TX
>standard order with 2 variations--every other spring break and
>we do not get SD over her birthday.
>
>Ex JUST wants every other spring break--

EO spring break isn't the standard order! I mean, anything could happen, but BM's gotta have a really good reason for taking away the child's time with her father! Even for us, we're about 200 miles apart. We get SSs 1st, 3rd & 5th weekend and still get EVERY spring break! Her reasoning is off and DH should point this out to the judge, that BM isn't looking for the best interest of the child. That, even though the child thinks she wants less time w/ dad, she's only a child and not old enough to make decisions of that nature, that's why you're going to court!

awakenlynn

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RE: Wait a minute, wait a minute............
« Reply #21 on: Feb 04, 2008, 03:43:28 PM »
Ex's reasoning is that they don't get to do stuff over the spring break then and SD misses too much with her friends--like they have parties and stuff and SD can't go.

I am really sorry that SD can't go to some of these things, but I think that time with Dad is so much more important.  If hubby were to lose this, he wouldn't see his daughter from Dec/Jan until June (odd years) and November to June(on even years); that is really too much time apart from dad and we are definately arguing NOT in SD best interest!

Ex thinks that because this is a new state she is fighting in, she will win, she doesn't really care about SD, just how much power she can have over my hubby.  She has stated before that it is all about HER convenience, no one elses.... (how sad to live your life)

Thanks,

awakenlynn

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RE: Going to Court...Possible Good News
« Reply #22 on: Feb 05, 2008, 08:35:23 PM »
Well, ex flew to TX today.  He got there ok, and the midwest is getting with one of the worst storms this year--which doesn't bode well for the return flight.  Hubby got to go to SD's first soccer game of the season AND he got to take her to dinner.  (When ex is nice, it usually means she wants something)

Anyways, we finally had our attorney fax me the interrogetories that ex did awhile ago(I had forgotten about them).  Ex's only change in circumstance is the fact that she moved to TX (which she did 5 YEARS ago) and was only really moving jurisdiction to TX because her IL attorney told her she should and then said that if she didn't get this court order going, then we would try and have IL take it back since it was up in the air--so here we are!  Also--apparently she couldn't get ahold of SD 6 times one month last summer; what she forgets to add is that SD called her back the next day.  We don't force SD to talk to her mother and we don't force her to call back until she wants to.

Ex wants the TX standard order--which she doesn't understand.  We told our attorney if that is the order she wanted, fine, we would take it and since ex is the one applying for the change, then ex would need to be responsible for the flights EOW.  Now we know that is not is SD's best interest, but it puts our current visitation in a much favorable light.  We want to keep what we have the same and are willing to forego the EOW's to keep our 8 weeks in summer and our spring break (otherwise SD would go 6-7 months without seeing dad and family and we would have no time to celebrate her birthday)

We are arguing for lay-over flights and think that if we go in front of a judge that will be the biggest issue.  Attorney was trying to see if we would accept transporation for summers and Christmas and could fly with a layover, unless ex insists on a non-stop then she would have to drive to Dallas.  BUT then when ex pays for Thanksgiving and spring break we would have to drive to Chicago.  Which is something we can't bend on--1st because the last year we picked SD for Thanksgiving we were stranded in Chicago overnight for a huge ICE storm, our 3 hour drive up took 6 and then SD stayed in the air over Chicago unitl 12:30AM and then over the holidays we had to find a place to stay!  
2nd--its a four day holiday and we would be driving for 2 of those days, that's not fair to anyone!  So we are really going to have to fight this one.  But we can show precedence--SD flew with layovers last spring break; also I printed articles giving estimates of the number of UAM's that fly every year(after 9/11); I printed AA's rules for UAM's; I printed the website of the company that is the UAM's escort service; and I printed some scientific article giving the statistics of why flying is safer than driving (also after 9/11).  I have printed everything that I could find that might have some semplance of helping us.

Keep your fingers crossed for us tomorrow.  Hubby meets with attorney at 8:30 and court is at 9.  

Thanks!!

awakenlynn

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Heard from the Judge
« Reply #23 on: Feb 06, 2008, 01:31:13 PM »
Ex has a problem and I don't know what!  First she was b****y in court, but then she let SD go have lunch with her dad.

Court ruled in our favor for most everything!!!
1) We continue to get every spring break, but we need to take into consideration any of SD's special considerations (not sure what that means--kind of vague, but haven't spoken in depth with hubby yet) I know SD has her last soccer game during spring break.  So we have to determine which is more important, missing the soccer game to spend time with dad and us or going to soccer and missing half the break with her family.

2) We continue to get 8weeks in the summer.  Judge has asked us to move the 8 weeks up a week so SD can do some before school.  I had wanted something alittle more specific with actual days.  The times for drop-off and pick-up is noon, which doesn't make either party really happy.  And a neutral spot equally driving distance was determined.  If ex decided to fly SD it has to be into Chicago(I think--this was the one point we lost out on)

3) We continue with alternating Thanksgivings.  Ex is required to drive SD to Dallas.  (My thoughts is that is one of HOW MANY that a 15-year old is REQUIRED to fly non-stop until 18?)

4) We split Christmas.  Even years we get 12/28 to end of visit.  Odd years we get start of vacation to 12/28.  If ex drives she has to notify us by 11/1 and she has to take any drive into consideration so as that we don't miss any visit days because of her "drive".  (This may be the biggest point of contention that if it isn't spelled out clearly enough, ex may try and ride roughshod and try and make us miss days.

We are responsible for Spring Break(drive to Chicago), Thanksgiving(from Dallas), and possibly some Christmas's.  Ex said she would always be driving, otherwise we are responsible for the flight(not sure into which airport).  Ex is responsible for summers, but if there are any flights we would have to go to Chicago.

Child support was also touched on by the AG.  They have alot to figure out internally, but they have zero'd out our arrears--since it was their error AND they are to work with IL to fix those arrears (also their error) and pay us back any overages--which there should be some.  When ALL that is corrected, then we are supposed to file papers agreeing to mover jurisdiction from IL to TX--which we DON'T have a problem with.  I think he was also asking for a withholding notice to be put into effect so we don't have to worry about child support (we prefer it coming out of the checks so we don't have to worry about spending it before it gets sent out).  Child support is to remain the same--which I believe includes the fact that our 8 weeks are to be abated.

Now ex just has to behave for 3 more years!! How quickly can you bring a person back into court after an order is determined in TX?

I need to start looking into plane tickets!!  And finding an extra $200 to get to Chicago.

Thanks!

thesmithfamily_5

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #24 on: Feb 07, 2008, 08:34:33 AM »
I'm glad the judge didn't take away time, I figured he wouldn't. I'm not crazy about the comment he made about spring break, hopefully that won't be a problem in the next 3 years....

As far as going back to court, she could attempt at any time. She still has to prove a change in circumstance affecting SD. And child support is every 3 years.

awakenlynn

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #25 on: Feb 07, 2008, 02:02:19 PM »
Hi, thanks for everything!

I don't like the spring break comment either.  The judge made the INTENT of the comment clear, and told our attorney that ifex pulls any stunt then she is to be notified immediately.  Judge did NOT like ex at all.

Husband did have a little fun.  Both parties were in conference rooms next to each other and both attorneys knew each other and were friendly with hubby.  Hubby is tired of ex trying to take advantage of him so he put it all down on the table.  Ex wants full TX standard order, then that is what he would give her and because she is the one who has instigated the change--then she would be responsible for ALL transportation (as it is not spelled out in the order).  Boy, he said you should have heard the yelling!  Her attorney had to leave the room and the AG who was in the hallway made some comments about it.

After this, they got down to business. After ex arguing every point, she finally gave in except for transportation.  TX is standard order is all flying transportation must be non-stop.  So we didn't have a choice here.  We also picked up potentially having to pay for an extra ticket on even years if ex chooses to fly SD.

Some questions did come up that will need to make sure are addressed.  But we need to wait for the final copy of the order to be mailed to us for review.

Thanks!
Lynn

MixedBag

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #26 on: Feb 08, 2008, 06:52:54 AM »
Dallas to Chicago?

Can you plan and use Soutwest that flies into Midway???

I just checked the route map, and that has a non-stop 3 flights a day between DFW and Midway.

And geez, put in a flight a few weeks out and one-way is $97.


awakenlynn

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #27 on: Feb 08, 2008, 10:03:16 PM »
No, we fly Dallas into O'Hare with American Airlines.  We stick with the one airline.

The prices on that Southwest airline sounds good though.  Wonder what ex would say is SD flew non-stop into Midway.  We've never been there before.


awakenlynn

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #28 on: Feb 08, 2008, 10:03:16 PM »
No, we fly Dallas into O'Hare with American Airlines.  We stick with the one airline.

The prices on that Southwest airline sounds good though.  Wonder what ex would say is SD flew non-stop into Midway.  We've never been there before.


Davy

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #29 on: Feb 09, 2008, 03:39:17 AM »
Just to clarify.

Southwest Airlines (SWA) only flies in/out of LUV field (Dallas) and there are numerous flights (none are nonstop).  

A Federal law passed years ago prevented SWA (LUV) from flying in/out of LUV with stopping at an airport in an adjoining state.  That law has only been relaxed in very recent years for selected airports (ie STL).

However, on SWA website, there are 3 nonstop flights from DFW (not LUV) to Midway apparently subcontracted to an airlines known as ATA.  All flights I saw were $225 or $247.  

SWA flight attendants are excellent with kids.

MixedBag

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RE: Heard from the Judge
« Reply #30 on: Feb 09, 2008, 08:31:41 AM »
That's what I found too -- ATA and SWA must be partnering somehow.

Didn't know about the adjoining state thing....

 

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