Do your homework and get the guidelines from every major airline on UAM (unaccompanied minor). Go to the FAA, who makes the rules for all airlines, and get their rules. I haven't read them lately, but when DS was flying, a child could fly with one layover/plane change once they turn 8 years old (almost twice as YOUNG as your
SD). In DS's case, and since he had ADHD, his dad and I decided to fly him non-stop one more year after that. That required 1000 miles of driving for me every time he went (every summer and EO Chirstmas), since it was 250 miles to Chicago O'Hare, but DS's dad lived in Sacramento. If DS couldn't fly to SMF, it was only 100 miles to SFO or OAK.
One thing to think about: our custody order was written in 1994 and it was the JUDGE who ordered DS to fly. It scared the crap out of me initially, but once I saw how diligent the airlines are with UAM's, it alleviated all of the fear. This was an order from over 13 years ago. It blows me away that your SD isn't flying regularly. Every roadblock your SD's mom is putting up is just an excuse to prevent visitation, period.
As for extended lay-overs (something longer that just going gate-to-gate), all airlines have private areas where UAM's can stay and be OUT of the mainstream of the airport. No one other than authorized airline representatives are allowed in those areas. And before a child boards, there is a form filled out that must have both parents contact information and how to get in touch with them while the child is in the hands of the airlines. It also has a list of spaces for signatures, for EVERY airline representative who is responsible for the child. Say if a child has a plane change, the attendant who first signed the form hands the child off to the next attendant who will be responsible, who also signs the form. When the child reaches the final destination, there will be a list of EVERY person who was responsible for the child while with the airline.
On one flight with DS, there was an extended layover because of weather at the destination airport. The airline tried to contact me, but we were out of range on my cell. So they contacted DS's dad and told him they would hold DS in their private area and feed him as well. As soon as we got service, DS's dad got in touch with me and told me what was going on. The airline handled the situation perfectly and there was absolutely NO cause for concern.
By the time DS was 14, he had enough frequent flyer miles for a free flight. We paid the UAM fees, which was a small price to pay for the peace of mind. When DS was little, he and I used to have a game called Bowl Mom Over when he'd fly home. He'd always be the last one off, because he had to be escorted. Once he could see me in the terminal (and I could see a big person holding the hand of a little person coming up the jetway!), he'd let go and come at me on a dead run! I'd kneel down and he'd throw himself into my arms! It was obvious who his mother was, but the attendant who had last responsibilty would still ask to see my ID.
When we finalized the CO, my atty. told me NEVER to be without my ID when I picked DS up. She told me of a time a dad went to pick up his son and was in a hurry, forgetting his wallet. His son was standing there, crying 'Daddy, Daddy!' but the attendants would NOT release the child until he went back home to get it.
It really rubs me the wrong way when a parent tris to give 'excuses' as to why a child can't fly. And your SD is a teenager! With the increasing number of divorces and the distances betweeen parents, kids flying UAM is a VERY common occurance. Even after 9/11. And if the atty. asks why to allow after 9/11, you tell them for the same reason adults still fly, because there's no difference.
As for her driving to the airport, all it would take is some strategic questions for the
BM about her driving habits and where she drives, how much time she spends behind the wheel at any given time. I bet you can blow holes in that excuse wide enough to walk through! That has to be the lamest excuse I've ever heard.
And if you need any other back-up on this issue, just e-mail me!
