All I'm trying to do is get you to see PAST the love, into the reality of the situation. The old saying, "Blinded by love" is quite true when applied to real life. I'm not being judgmental, I'm being honest. Being honest sometimes means saying things someone doesn't want to hear. One day, though, you will see what I meant, and that it was meant with CARING...not to judge you at all.
People DO understand how you feel. However, you stated in your first post that the bm "got what she wanted" and it appears you think SHE put your bf in jail. She didn't. That's the point I was trying to get you to see. As another poster pointed out, a mere $25 a month would have kept him out of jail. If he got a job making even a small amount of money, he could have come up with a small amount to send every month to show he's trying...and he wouldn't be where he is now. Regardless, he is where he is. And bm didn't put him there...he put HIMSELF there by choosing to send ZERO rather than even a meager amount.
People don't have the power to just up and throw someone in jail. If that were the case, I'd like to see the nosey, meddling, puppy hating neighbor across the street put away for a few months. It doesn't work like that. The only way someone is put in jail is if they don't try at all, don't show up for the show cause hearings, don't make an effort to try to right a wrong. They don't end up there because someone ELSE put them there...but because their own actions put them there. When unemployed, he should have contacted the court for a temporary reduction in cs, rather than just forget about it.
Does that make more sense? Is it less harsh?
I do feel for you. I do. What you expected to hear, however, is unknown to me. I'm not going to feel sorry for a man who is in jail because he didn't send even $25 (or $10 for that matter) a month to his dying ex wife to help care for his children.
Again...I'm not being judgmental...I'm being honest. Someday the sun will clear and you'll see thru the love, and into the truth. What did you EXPECT to hear from us? Honestly, because I don't exactly know what you expected. Compassion and understanding for your side of things? Sure, I feel for you...but not how you WANT me to. I feel for you because I see love blinding you to the reality of why he is where he is.