Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Mar 19, 2024, 01:54:24 AM

Login with username, password and session length

RE: Teenage Boys - Out of State - Visitation

Started by SFMedic, Oct 08, 2005, 01:35:43 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

SFMedic

Dear Socrateaser,

Today, I received a formal response from my "ex" who resides in (West Virginia) to my motion for "modification and enforcement of visitation", and I reside in (Maryland).  My boys are 14 and 15 y/o, 14 months apart in age.

The "ex" is trying to change the jurisdiction of the case and bring it back to "WV" instead of "MD".  The divorce decree, and previous motion of visistation enforcement from 10 years ago were both initiated and granted from "MD".

The change of jurisdiction is being based on it creating a financial hardship for her, due to the following:

1.  Having to make a 4hr trip

2.  Having to obtain child care (babysitter) for her 10 y/o Son

3.  Having to take off of work

4.  Boys having to take off from school

5.  Because both minor children have resided in the State of West Virginia all or most of their lives

6.  The jurisdiction is more than 100 miles from children home and is inconvientant for things such as witnesses, school, Doctors etc.

7.  To file motions and petitions with MD attorney's warrents that I take off work for such meetings as attorney's or court dates

8.  I am the main support system for my youngest Son and this is a burden on me financially.

9.  When I have to go out of town for court session, I must find child care for youngest Son.

10.  This is no longer in the best interest of all 3 of my children due to traveling, myself missing work and children missing school


She states since the order, circumstances have changed and the order is no longer in the best interest of the children because: "Wishes of the children are that they can have the last few years of childhood to play in sports, go to dances, work, and not to have the threat of inappropriate disciplinary action"

I would add, the children pretty much do what they want at their Mom's house, regarding their school grades, there is no type of punishment or discipline taken.  Compared to my house, where as at first, not playing tv/computer video games are taken away, if failing grades continue, then special events are not allowed if they happen to fall on a Friday that is my visitation weekend.  In the past, I have changed and rotated weekends with the Mother, providing they kept up their grades.

To date, both boys have failing grades, oldest has two "Fs" and a "D", and youngest has an "F".  Oldest is playing sports right now, which is Son's / Mother's primary focus of attention.

The questions I have are:

1.  What is the likelihood of jurisdiction being changed considering we were married and divorced in MD, and I have once before (10 yrs ago) filed a modification / enforcement order and none of this was an issue then?  Boys respectively will be 18 in 2 and 3 years from now.

2.  Do I have the option of filling some type of rebuttal to her stated reasons for wanting to change jurisdiction, if so, what is the proper format?

3.  The same reasons the Mother is stating would also apply to myself regarding child care, as I have a 10 wk old infant.

4.  Regarding Witnesses and/or Doctors, is there a procedure for requesting and obtaining any "verified proof" of names, dates, places and times, if so, what is the proper format?

5.  Regarding the Mother having to take off of work and the kids out of school, wouldn't it be the same thing taking place, even if the jurisdiction of the case was changed or am I looking at this wrong?

6.  What difference would her youngest son (previous marriage) make a difference regarding the jurisdiction, when I would have to find someone to babysit my infant child as well?

7.  If and when this goes to court, could I still anticipate having some type of visitation with my two Sons, even if on a limited basis?

Thanks..!!!!








socrateaser

>The questions I have are:
>
>1.  What is the likelihood of jurisdiction being changed
>considering we were married and divorced in MD, and I have
>once before (10 yrs ago) filed a modification / enforcement
>order and none of this was an issue then?  Boys respectively
>will be 18 in 2 and 3 years from now.

Extremely high likelihood that MD will give up jurisdiction, at least as to the modification issue, because as alleged, most of the current witnesses and information regarding the children is no longer available in MD. The fact that your ex has financial and time related issues, however, is irrelevant, but the other issues are more than sufficient to permit a jurisdictional change.

If you were merely enforcing your current orders, then you would probably obtain enforcement in MD. But, as for modification, you're gonna lose this round.

>
>2.  Do I have the option of filling some type of rebuttal to
>her stated reasons for wanting to change jurisdiction, if so,
>what is the proper format?

You can file a "reply" to her "response" but what I would suggest is that you not waste your time, and that you voluntarily withdraw your motion to modify, and ask that the court simply deal with the enforcement issues, or, that you simply file a petition to modify and enforce in WV.

>3.  The same reasons the Mother is stating would also apply to
>myself regarding child care, as I have a 10 wk old infant.

This issue is irrelevant, both for you and for her. The court will ignore it in both of your circumstances. Unfortunately, your ex's other allegations are sufficient to win.

>4.  Regarding Witnesses and/or Doctors, is there a procedure
>for requesting and obtaining any "verified proof" of names,
>dates, places and times, if so, what is the proper format?

You're not clearly explaining what information you seek, but if you seek info from the other parent, then you serve on that person's attorney, a discovery request for production, or a request for interrogatories. If you seek information from a third party, then you must subpoena them to produce the information. If the witnesses live outside of MD, then you must file a petition for a foreign deposition, and this gets very complicated, so if this is the case, then you would be better to file your petition for modification in WV, which will permit you to directly reach the various witnesses, assuming that the witnesses live in WV.

>
>5.  Regarding the Mother having to take off of work and the
>kids out of school, wouldn't it be the same thing taking
>place, even if the jurisdiction of the case was changed or am
>I looking at this wrong?

Irrelevant.

>
>6.  What difference would her youngest son (previous marriage)
>make a difference regarding the jurisdiction, when I would
>have to find someone to babysit my infant child as well?

Irrelevant.

>
>7.  If and when this goes to court, could I still anticipate
>having some type of visitation with my two Sons, even if on a
>limited basis?

You haven't provided me with enough facts with which to reasonably evaluate your case -- any comment on my part would be pure guessing at this point.

SFMedic

Dear Socrateaser,

The Mother in question does not have an attorney, she is "pro se" at this time.

You recommended a withdrawl of the current motion and go ahead and refile just an "enforcement" motion, how exactly is that done in terms of the procedure or format?

Would the enforcement motion have a better chance of standig up in court or can the Mother still try and change jurisdiction back to "WV" with myself being in "MD"?

If I withdrawl the motion and resubmit, she also has to be reserved, and I have to wait another 60 days I take it?

Thanks....

socrateaser

>Dear Socrateaser,
>
>The Mother in question does not have an attorney, she is "pro
>se" at this time.
>
>You recommended a withdrawl of the current motion and go ahead
>and refile just an "enforcement" motion, how exactly is that
>done in terms of the procedure or format?

I would just show up for the hearing and tell the court that you would be willing to withdraw your current modification request if she withdraws her request to move the jurisdiction, and that the court should proceed only on the enforcement issues. The judge would ask her if she agrees, and if she does, then that's that. If not, then you can still ask for the court to rule on the enforcement issues, even if it dismisses your mod for improper venue.
>
>Would the enforcement motion have a better chance of standig
>up in court or can the Mother still try and change
>jurisdiction back to "WV" with myself being in "MD"?

There's really no legal justification for a dismissal of your enforcement action for improper venue, so I don't see this as a realistic move for the court. Although, being that you're both pro se, the judge may do it, because, there's no attorneys watching who will call bullshit on the judge and report him/her to the state disciplinary authority.

>If I withdrawl the motion and resubmit, she also has to be
>reserved, and I have to wait another 60 days I take it?

Don't do that. Do what I just said. It will save you hassel. I thought you were represented or she was, but as you're not, this is gonna be sort of a free for all in the courtroom anyway.

SFMedic

Dear Socrateaser,

Question: Regarding the Judge / Master deciding to rule in favor of "change" in venue and reporting him/her to the State disciplinary authority, is this something I could confront and bring up with the Judge /
Master during trial or only an attorney can site this?

Question:  Is this something that could be appealed to a higher level within the family court system, if so, what would I need to do in order to prepare for this eventuality?

Thanks....

 

socrateaser

>Dear Socrateaser,
>
>Question: Regarding the Judge / Master deciding to rule in
>favor of "change" in venue and reporting him/her to the State
>disciplinary authority, is this something I could confront and
>bring up with the Judge /
>Master during trial or only an attorney can site this?

You can bring it up, but it's just gonna make the judge even more annoyed. Point being that if the judge intends to violate your rights, he's not gonna care about your knowledge of the law -- he's basically challenging you to try to stop him. I still don't see this as real likely, so don't get yourself all rev'd up for something like this.

>Question:  Is this something that could be appealed to a
>higher level within the family court system, if so, what would
>I need to do in order to prepare for this eventuality?

Nope. You'd need to appeal to the MD Court of Appeals, and that would be a profound waste of time, because you really don't have any legal grounds. You're trying to fight a losing battle. Your train is headed for WV, so you may as well get on board now.

SFMedic

Dear Soc,

First off, I wanted to say thanks for your candor with regards to my previous post, questions and your responses to them, they have been insightful, not to mention your responses to other forum members within your group.

I have several questions based on previous responses you have offered to others.

1.  Would filing a petition for Contempt of Court based on "Denial of Visitation" be of any use in relation to my visitation being denied by the Mother?  It's been since July 31st that I last had any visitation with them. This being done as a separate matter from the "Enforcement and Modification of Visitation" petition already on file.

2.  Would submitting a petition for a hearing, with regards to my motion for an "Enforcement and Modification of Visitation" be prudent or should I wait to see what will take place next from the court?

3.  In my previous postings, I forgot to explain, part of the reason for filing the "Enforcement and Modification of Visitation", was to try and consolidate my summer visitation time, currently it's 5 wks in the summer, with only 2 weeks consecutive time, which amounts to 10 days straight for any given (1wk Summer Visitation Period), bringing the boys back on a Monday and picking them up again on Friday of that same week for a given weekend visitation.  Which would amount to a lot back and forth, with the Mother complaining about the number of trips she would have to make versus the boys just staying for the entire time.

4.  The Mother claims bringing the boys down for visitation anymore "is not in their best interest" (from WV to MD), would the "burden of proof" as to why that is be more so with the Mom to prove why this is the case?
Mind you, the boys previously were already brought down by her for 3 weeks this summer before things had changed and I was cut off from them.

5.  The Mother's counter-claim to my motion of "Enforcement of Modification of Visitation" has to do with them attending sports and school dances in spite of having "failing school grades".  Is this (failing grades) something I could bring up in court as the basis for why they are punished - restrictions placed from my end and this in itself is what is considered and listed in the Mother's counter-claim as "inappropriate disciplinary action"?  Could I use their report cards and progress reports as proof of why this has taken place, how the mother has not initiated any after school tutoring for either one in relation to their grades?  Would any of this really matter at all with the Judge?

6.  If my current court order is changed by the Judge, as in reducing my visitation in someway, is it reasonable to assume that I might still have some visitation time if not during the school year, maybe during the summer or should I expect to not seem that at all anymore?  They are currently 14 & 15 y/o, oldest to turn 16 y/o this coming Dec 05.

Thanks....

socrateaser

Your thinking is somewhat muddled, so let me try to clear things up:

Winning in court is not what you see on Judge Judy or the People's Court. The judge in a real courtroom has no time, and no interest in entertaining an audience. The judge just wants to get through the case load and then go home -- like anyone else who has a day job.

Your goal is to set out a simple statement of a claim/dispute that the judge has authority to resolve, and then place against it evidence/testimony that is believable as what you claim it to be, and that tends to prove or disprove some element of your claim.

If you prove each element, then it becomes the other party's job to try to discredit your evidence sufficient to make your proof no longer believable.  If the other party has a similar claim, then they need to do the same as you for their claim and you need to make their evidence no longer believable.

 So, take your claim and set out your evidence and then ask yourself if you were the judge, (1) is there enough evidence here to support this claim; (2) if there is, do I believe the evidence after hearing both sides of the story?

If you answer yes to #1 and #2, then you win your claim. Otherwise, you lose. Same for your opponent.

That's the whole banana.

SFMedic

Dear Soc,

As of two weeks ago the Mother has received through certified mail and first class mail answers to her motion for change of venue and also my requesting a hearing to modify / enforce my standing court order.

Since that time my two boys are now completely refusing to talk with me at all over the phone, to include the mother, who is also refusing to talk with me about what is going on with them day to day, especially where their schooling is concerned and after school extracurricular activities.  So at this point I'm systematically and deliberately being kept in the dark by the mother.

The Mother had stated we have nothing to talk about until we go to court.

I'm still waiting to find out if there will be a scheduled court date/hearing.

Besides keeping and maintaining a log of my phone calls, is there anything I can no in terms of being proactive?

Thanks...

socrateaser

>Besides keeping and maintaining a log of my phone calls, is
>there anything I can no in terms of being proactive?

I don't know how you answered, but it's obvious that you've scared your ex and she's gonna use that fear to influence your kids.

There's really not much you can do. And, in many cases there will never be anything you can do. Frankly, sometimes, the only solution is to tell your kids that you love them and you'll always be there if they need you, no matter what, and then just pay your support and go on with your life, and hope that once they're adults, that they will want to reestablish the relationship.

You may be in that situation.

SFMedic

>I don't know how you answered, but it's obvious that you've
>scared your ex and she's gonna use that fear to influence your
>kids.
>
>There's really not much you can do. And, in many cases there
>will never be anything you can do. Frankly, sometimes, the
>only solution is to tell your kids that you love them and
>you'll always be there if they need you, no matter what, and
>then just pay your support and go on with your life, and hope
>that once they're adults, that they will want to reestablish
>the relationship.
>
>You may be in that situation.

Dear Soc,

I answered and replied to her counter-claim motion for a "change of venue" by requesting a scheduled "hearing" regarding my motion of "modification/enforcement of visitation" and initiated a "contempt of court" motion with her denying my visitation.

Prior to the Mother receiving this in the mail some 2 weeks ago, I was still able to call and at least have a 5 minute conversation with my teenage sons.  

Now that this has been set in motion with the courts, I find myself being completely cut off from anything their doing, short of some medical emergency taking place.

I've tried to remind the mother how "we" still need to communicate about what's going on in their lives, so I can attend and be a part of activities that they do at school.

It's very obvious the mother is sparing no expense, with the deliberate alienation hoping to erase my having any type of relationship with our Son's prior to us apprearing in court and I refuse to just up and throw in the towel.

I would think she is obligated in someway to maintain contact with me about what and how the boys are doing at school?  It is in my court papers that I'm to have complete access or that she's to provide that access.

The same thing took place "alienation" when the mother deliberately moved out of state from MD to WV, and said to my face "how her friends and family was giving me 6 months before I would tire of the drive back and forth to her front door".  This was back when the boys were 20 and 6 months old at the time.

Question:  How would I approach / discuss / address this (alienation) in the court room once I receive a court date?

Question:  Is proving "alienation" through no phone contact with her and the children hard to do or will the judge just dismiss the matter completely because of seeing it as not relative?

Question:  Would sending a letter to the Mother / Court expressing my concern about the importance of my maintaining some type of relationship with the boys make a difference at all with the courts or would it just be a waste of time?

Question:  Both boys also have failing grades in core subjects at school, which has taken place each and every year since middle school, now in 9th and 10th grade, is this something I can address with the courts as well, if so, what would be the best way to present this information?  The mother has the ability to enroll them in after school tutoring but for reasons unknown to me it seems to not be a priority with her.

At this point it feel's like I'm grasping for straws...

thanks...




socrateaser

>Question:  How would I approach / discuss / address this
>(alienation) in the court room once I receive a court date?

If you have a scheduled visitation, I would show up with a private investigator carrying a video recorder and start compiling proof of the alienation.

This is why I say that sometimes there's nothing you can do -- the financial cost of obtaining credible proof becomes prohibitive. You can show up and then call the police if you can't get to the kids, but most of the time the police won't come out unless there's a genuine disturbance threatening the peace, and your report that you were unable to see the children will be inadmissible hearsay.

Moreover, if the children are buying into the custodial parent's claims of your evil nature, then it simply doesn't matter what anyone does, because an uncooperative child pretty can pretty much bring the legal system to a standstill (unless it's a genuine juvenile delinquency problem).

>Question:  Is proving "alienation" through no phone contact
>with her and the children hard to do or will the judge just
>dismiss the matter completely because of seeing it as not
>relative?

The word is "relevant," not "relative."

The mother can just say that the kids aren't interested in seeing you. Then it's not alienation, because the children are doing it themselves, unless you can prove otherwise.

>Question:  Would sending a letter to the Mother / Court
>expressing my concern about the importance of my maintaining
>some type of relationship with the boys make a difference at
>all with the courts or would it just be a waste of time?

I would write that you intend to exercise your parenting rights and that you'ld appreciate some help and encouragement from your ex. Then, if those rights are frustrated I would write stating my dismay at your ex's refusal to help or encourage the relationship between you and the children.

Then you can bring the letters into court and ask your ex about why she did such and such. If she has a good attorney, the attorney will object that such questions assume facts not in evidence, but its worth a shot.

>Question:  Both boys also have failing grades in core subjects
>at school, which has taken place each and every year since
>middle school, now in 9th and 10th grade, is this something I
>can address with the courts as well, if so, what would be the
>best way to present this information?  

You can request anything relevant to the issue before the court. But, you need to lay out your allegations, show how they are relevant to the motion request and then use evidence to prove your case. You can't go in ad hoc or the judge will believe that the court's time is being wasted by a pro se litigant with no understanding of the legal process, and you'll get shut down.


SFMedic

>>I would write that you intend to exercise your parenting rights and >>that >you'ld appreciate some help and encouragement from your ex. >>Then, if those rights are frustrated I would write stating my dismay >>at your ex's refusal to help or encourage the relationship between >>you and the children.


Dear Soc,

Quesion:  The following is the actual format letter I have sent several times already to the mother and county court house, regarding my visitation being denied, is there anything else I should add or change?

Question:  You referenced "stating my dismay at your ex's refusal to help encourage the relationship between you and the children".  How exactly would you suggest that I correctly word those intentions?  Should they be added to the letter below or sent as a separate document?

I'm also suppose to have the children for Thanksgiving this year as well as Christmas break and it doesn't seem likely at this point that either will be taking place!  

Thanks....


October 8, 2005

RE: Notice Of Intent To Exercise Scheduled Visitation

XXXXX
xxxx
xxxxxxx

Dear Xxxxxx,

   I'm sure you realize that I consider my time with Xxxx Xx and XX to be extremely special and valuable beyond measure.  They are very much a part of my family, and these visits are an important part of all of our lives.

   In our last hearing on this matter, visitation was ordered by the courts on this schedule:

   ORDERED, that Xxxxx Xxx Xxxxx, Plaintiff, shall have visitation with both minor children of the parties on alternating weekends from Friday evening at 5:00 pm until Sunday evening at 6:00 pm and the Plaintiff shall have visitation with the minor children at any place which he deems reasonable and in the best interest of the children

   In practice, however, you have failed to comply with this schedule and have put undue restrictions on it that are not in compliance with the court order.  To demonstrate, I've prepared this table:

Date(s)   /    Time Scheduled  /   Time Arrived  /   Time Returned  /   Missed Time   /   Remarks

05 -23 Aug 05   6:00 pm        No Show              N / A        Summer Visitation
12 Aug   05          6:00 pm        No Show              N / A        Weekend
02 Sep 05          6:00 pm     No Show     N / A        Weekend
16 Sep 05        6:00 pm              No Show               N / A        Weekend
07 Oct 05        6:00 pm     No Show               N / A        Weekend      
      
   Total time missed:  27 days


   Because of your actions, I've had far less than my allotted time with Xxxx Xx and XX.  It also makes it extremely difficult to plan the kinds of family activities we like to on these occasions.

   The conditions and restrictions you have placed on these visits violate the court ordered schedule and are not acceptable.  You have 26 days per month to schedule activities for Xxxx Xx and XX as you see fit, please allow me to do the same with my 4 days.

Please be advised, that when I attempted to exercise my visitation rights, as per the standing court order, you denied my visitation for the date(s) of October 7th.  I would like to make-up this lost time, by returning to the standing schedule of weekend visitation on the date of October 14, 2005.  
 
   I'm willing to be flexible with the schedule (for example, when special events occur), but I expect reasonable advance notice and compensatory time.  I also reserve the "right of refusal" on all such changes in the court ordered schedule.  I hope that we can reach agreement on these issues without involving a third party, but understand, that I will do whatever is necessary so I can spend my parenting time with Xxxx Xx and XX.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding this letter, to date, I have not received a written response from you, regarding the previous weekends of visitation that have been denied.  I would hope to workout some type of arrangement without having to resort to litigation.

Sincerely,


Xxxxx X XxXxxx Xx

XXX/xx
c.c.: Xxxxx X. XxXxx Xx
       COURT CLERK: Case# XXXXXXX / X-XX-XXXXX
       Return Receipt Article# XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX
       Document also mailed via first class postage



socrateaser

>>>I would write that you intend to exercise your parenting
>rights and >>that >you'ld appreciate some help and
>encouragement from your ex. >>Then, if those rights are
>frustrated I would write stating my dismay >>at your ex's
>refusal to help or encourage the relationship between >>you
>and the children.
>
>
>Dear Soc,
>
>Quesion:  The following is the actual format letter I have
>sent several times already to the mother and county court
>house, regarding my visitation being denied, is there anything
>else I should add or change?

Apparently, it's not working, so maybe you need to change everything. I didn't review it entirely. I strongly suggest limiting your comments to what will fit on one letter page. Most people find anything greater than that abusive and they will stop reading, so your message goes unnoticed.

>Question:  You referenced "stating my dismay at your ex's
>refusal to help encourage the relationship between you and the
>children".  How exactly would you suggest that I correctly
>word those intentions?  Should they be added to the letter
>below or sent as a separate document?

You're already writing letters adversarially, so it will do little good now to retreat to a more deferential position. I rescind my advice in this regard.

>
>I'm also suppose to have the children for Thanksgiving this
>year as well as Christmas break and it doesn't seem likely at
>this point that either will be taking place!  

Why don't you just show up at the time when you're supposed to have visitation, and bring along a dictation recorder. Keep it in plain sight and recording, so that you have a record of her refusal to turn over the kids. You could also have someone video the attempted exchange.

Bottom line is that if you want to play hardball, then you have to be prepared to do just that, i.e., get irrefutable evidence of contempt, then file for sanctions and request that she spend a few days in jail to encourage future cooperation. This may cause your children to hate you, so be careful with this approach, because it may not provide the result you seek (unless you seek to have your ex punished).

I really don't have a good solution for you. The ideal would be to get into counseling with you and your ex and the kids and try to resolve the situation. But, your description of the circumstances, suggests that it's probably way too late for this sort of intervention.

SFMedic

>Why don't you just show up at the time when you're supposed to
>have visitation, and bring along a dictation recorder. Keep it
>in plain sight and recording, so that you have a record of her
>refusal to turn over the kids. You could also have someone
>video the attempted exchange.
>
>Bottom line is that if you want to play hardball, then you
>have to be prepared to do just that, i.e., get irrefutable
>evidence of contempt, then file for sanctions and request that
>she spend a few days in jail to encourage future cooperation.
>This may cause your children to hate you, so be careful with
>this approach, because it may not provide the result you seek
>(unless you seek to have your ex punished).


Dear Soc,

When we meet to exchange / pick-up the children, it's at our halfway point, which takes place within the state I live in.

Question:  What about going to her front door to ask to speak with the children, we've asked several times in the past, and the children come up with some lame excuse as to why they can't do it.  Would this be worth a try or just waisting our time making a 4hr one-way trip?

Thanks...

socrateaser

>Dear Soc,
>
>When we meet to exchange / pick-up the children, it's at our
>halfway point, which takes place within the state I live in.
>
>Question:  What about going to her front door to ask to speak
>with the children, we've asked several times in the past, and
>the children come up with some lame excuse as to why they
>can't do it.  Would this be worth a try or just waisting our
>time making a 4hr one-way trip?

The kind of questions that you're asking make me wonder whether or not you're actually understanding my comments. I guess I need to be a little more blunt:

I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT WILL OR WILL NOT CAUSE YOUR KIDS TO WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU!!!

Only your kids can answer this question, so stop asking me and start asking them.

The legal issue is simple: if you want to have the court punish your ex, then you must prove contempt beyond reasonable doubt, so that the court can order incarceration. I've given you the basics as to how to accomplish this. But, as for getting your kids on your side, I haven't a clue -- so, stop asking.

SFMedic

Dear Soc,

Not my intentions to cause any problems.  When I was earlier asking about going to their front door, it was in response to you talking earlier about hiring a private investigator to video tape our visit, and yes I was confused to some extent.

Just the same, I appreciate you taking the time to clarify, sorry for the misunderstanding...

socrateaser

No problem. I just don't want to keep revisiting the same territory, because it's not productive for anyone.

SFMedic

Dear Soc,

This past Friday, I received a notice from court with surprising news, the change of venue the mother (WV) was attempting to change from MD to WV has been denied, and there is a scheduled conference with a judge on Dec 7th.

Question:  Correct me if I'm wrong, this "conference" is basically a question and answer session with a Judge/Master, to determine any further action regarding my resuming visitation, i.e. through court appointed counseling, limiting visitation, and to determine if an actual court trial is required?

Question: Is there a particular format I should follow in terms of talking points to bring up or is it a wait and see what the judge wants to know and ask about?  I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach this?

Question:  Would it be worth having an attorney present instead of remaining Pro Se or save the money towards going to trial knowing it could be the end result?

Thanks...

socrateaser

>Question:  Correct me if I'm wrong, this "conference" is
>basically a question and answer session with a Judge/Master,
>to determine any further action regarding my resuming
>visitation, i.e. through court appointed counseling, limiting
>visitation, and to determine if an actual court trial is
>required?

Judge wants to see if the matter can be settled without litigation. If you both were represented, the judge would pull the attorneys into chambers and tell them to get their clients under control and resolve this so that the court doesn't need to deal with it.

>Question: Is there a particular format I should follow in
>terms of talking points to bring up or is it a wait and see
>what the judge wants to know and ask about?  I'm trying to
>figure out the best way to approach this?

You should tell the court that you would very much like to resolve all of the issues amicably and in the child's best interests, and that you merely want to obtain a reasonable opportunity for parenting time with your child. You want to appear to be interested only in your child's welfare, and not at all interested in anything that even remotely appears to be a fight with the other parent.

>Question:  Would it be worth having an attorney present
>instead of remaining Pro Se or save the money towards going to
>trial knowing it could be the end result?

I can't judge your ability to remain calm in a courtroom environ. You could go in pro se and tell the judge that in the event that opposing counsel states that he/she believes that his client is unwilling to settle amicably, that you would like some time to retain counsel. Then you will have sort of put the ball in their court. Your ex's attorney will have to say, "No, my client's an ass, so you'd better hire an attorney," or "I think that we can resolve this quickly and amicably, and without resort to a trial."

Or, you can hire an attorney now and spend the extra dough for the conference, if you think it will make you feel more comfortable -- it's really your call, but I can tell you that you're probably looking at paying about $500 for the appearance if you hire someone now. Not saying you shouldn't, just giving you the cost factor to consider.

SFMedic

Dear Soc,

Two days ago, I received a court notice, informing me that my
Contempt of Court order against the Mother, based on denial of
visitation has been approved.  It's also been merged / consolidated
with my Modify/Enforce visitation motion.

Question:  With the two motions consolidated for the same date and time, does this make for more of a burden on my part with having to prove the denial of visitation or will this just make things in court more streamlined?

Question:  Going back to what you mention about my remaining Pro Se and Mother appearing with legal counsel.  Would that still apply, more to my advantage to remain Pro Se, with the hope that matters could be settled out of court due to the Mother not wanting to make another trip from WV to Annapolis, MD?

Again, just trying to guage what the best approach / position to take, I personally would have no problem being in the court room, considering it will just be a conference with the judge.

Thanks....

socrateaser

>Dear Soc,
>
>Two days ago, I received a court notice, informing me that my
>Contempt of Court order against the Mother, based on denial
>of
>visitation has been approved.  It's also been merged /
>consolidated
>with my Modify/Enforce visitation motion.

You need to get the terminology correct, because when you say that your Contempt of court order has been approved, that means that your motion has been heard and you've won.

Clearly this hasn't happened yet, so your wording is confusing.

An order is what the judge signs when he's decided the motiion before the court. A motion is what you file to ask the judge for an order. A hearing is what you attend to help the judge understand the issues in your motion. You can also orally offer a different motion at a hearing.

>1:  With the two motions consolidated for the same date
>and time, does this make for more of a burden on my part with
>having to prove the denial of visitation or will this just
>make things in court more streamlined?

Judge thinks your motions are the same issue. Argument and proof are same -- only burden is higher for contempt.

>2:  Going back to what you mention about my remaining
>Pro Se and Mother appearing with legal counsel.  Would that
>still apply, more to my advantage to remain Pro Se, with the
>hope that matters could be settled out of court due to the
>Mother not wanting to make another trip from WV to Annapolis,
>MD?

I don't know. Mom will either hire lawyer or she won't. You'll find out soon enuf, so no reason to speculate.

PS: Number your questions in the future or I won't respond. Also, please start a new thread if another question. This one's too long.