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Ocean there is one other issue with teen mothers in NY.  I have found out that under our new laws while we may not be responsible to support the child through the divorce/ CS the state can/will come after a parent if the child and grandchild receive any type of state support like welfare or insurance.  Not sure if this only happens when the father is not named or all the time.  I have heard horrow stories about the partents fighting the state over this.  Not only all of this but we are responsible until 21 but have no recourse once they are 16.  Not sure how that makes sense but in NY is seems to. 

Nemesis the only other thing I can think to suggest is to call CPS and see what they say.  Our school district only allows so many excused absences before the state is involved.  Parents can be brought up on educational neglect charges even with excused absences unless there is a doctor involved for extended time.  If your daughter isn't going to school, isn't working, or looking for work I would contact the courts and see if you can stop support.  Might make BM take notice and get her to do something iwth your daughter.  Just an idea though. 

Thankfully my SD is 15 and has no desire to be a mother now or in the near future.  Might help that her BM and aunts were all mothers by the time they were 16, have lousy lives, no real jobs, and can't keep a place to live.  No better lesson then life. 

Good luck to you.

Not sure how your relationship with SD is but what about flowers or such delivered to school.  Or Candy.  Congrulating her  on being a big sister. 

COngrats to you on both your big news

If the child support was ordered by the court then you are responsible for it.  It doesn't matter that you have 2 othre children that you are taking care of you still need to support the other one.  You may be able to have your support lowered if you are out of work but you will still owe the arrears.  The judge may set up a way for you to pay it back over time.  He can also put you in jail or suspend your license.

How much is your monthly support?  Why did you lose your job?  How old is the child?  Who made  the support order?  Why are you in contempt?  

The above is all things that can happen for not meeting your obligations to your child.  HOpe it all works out for you.

was out of my SD's life for 4 years.  SD is going to be 11 on 1/29.  The only reason BM came back into SD's life is because Sd's older half sister was killed riding her bike.  My DH made the contact.  Sd didn't have any contact with her sister either and never really knew her.  BM walked away when SD was 5 and just came back in July of 2003.  When DH was willing to do all the running BM was around but since he has decided not to anymore, she has gone away again.  She has called twice in 3 months.  SD has a sister and 2 brothers there that she misses alot.  I would have hoped that the loss of one daughter would make her want more to do with SD but that didn't happen.  

My answer to SD when she was gone was a standard "We all make decisions in our lives and sometimes they aren't the right ones but we can hope that one day it will change."  It hasn't and SD now knows that we weren't the ones keeping BM away.  Many people have tried to find a way to keep her involved but she can't cope with a child who is well behaved, caring and knows right from wrong.  In my eyes it is BM's loss and my gain.  

My SD has gone through all the stages and right now is in the anger stage.  We are working on it.  Here is a site to try and see if you can get an address for her but don't expect anything to change.  Some people were never meant to be parents and I feel lack something so that they can just walk away.  The BM in our case has offered me her other children more times than I can count.  I think she also feels that she can't compete because SD lacks nothing with us.  She has all of her basic needs met and then some.  

I wish you luck with what you are trying to do.  Have SD write letters and put them in a special folder for the time when BM is found or decides to come back.  Good luck and try the link below.  Might help.  
http://www.meta-people-search.com/index.shtml

was out of my SD's life for 4 years.  SD is going to be 11 on 1/29.  The only reason BM came back into SD's life is because Sd's older half sister was killed riding her bike.  My DH made the contact.  Sd didn't have any contact with her sister either and never really knew her.  BM walked away when SD was 5 and just came back in July of 2003.  When DH was willing to do all the running BM was around but since he has decided not to anymore, she has gone away again.  She has called twice in 3 months.  SD has a sister and 2 brothers there that she misses alot.  I would have hoped that the loss of one daughter would make her want more to do with SD but that didn't happen.  

My answer to SD when she was gone was a standard "We all make decisions in our lives and sometimes they aren't the right ones but we can hope that one day it will change."  It hasn't and SD now knows that we weren't the ones keeping BM away.  Many people have tried to find a way to keep her involved but she can't cope with a child who is well behaved, caring and knows right from wrong.  In my eyes it is BM's loss and my gain.  

My SD has gone through all the stages and right now is in the anger stage.  We are working on it.  Here is a site to try and see if you can get an address for her but don't expect anything to change.  Some people were never meant to be parents and I feel lack something so that they can just walk away.  The BM in our case has offered me her other children more times than I can count.  I think she also feels that she can't compete because SD lacks nothing with us.  She has all of her basic needs met and then some.  

I wish you luck with what you are trying to do.  Have SD write letters and put them in a special folder for the time when BM is found or decides to come back.  Good luck and try the link below.  Might help.  
http://www.meta-people-search.com/index.shtml

Are we friends or are we not?  
You told me once But I forgot
tell me now and tell me true
so can I say I'm here for you*
Of all the friends I've ever met
Your the one I won't forget
And if I die before you do
I'll go to heaven
And wait for you
I'll give the angels
Back their wings
And risk the loss
Of everything
Just to prove
My friendship is true
To have a friend like you

I printed out the finical paperwork so we will go from there.  

I printed out the finical paperwork so we will go from there.  

A friend went from making $45,300.00 a year down to making $350.00 a week before support or taxes.

He is paying $168.00 a week support for 2 children to the same mother.  He is paying an extra $10. a week toward the arrears that occured while he was out of work.  

By the time everything is out he is bringing home less than 50% of his net pay.  Is there anything he can do to lower the support due to the change in jobs?

All I can find on line is forms to file for support or prove paternity.  Nothing to change an order.

He is not arguing owing the money and isn't fighting what he is paying.  We are just trying to figure out a way to find him enough money to live on.

Thanks for all the information.

Get an air horn and when it is time to get up Blow it right in his ear.  Then set a timer for about 15-20 mins and tell him if he isn't done getting dressed by then he goes to school as is.  

As for chores, tell him for every day that they are not done he doesn't get a favorite snack or something equally bad.  No eating until homework, chores and everything he has to do is done.  

Sadly, I think he is acting out because he knows it drives you crazy and knows that neither you nor DH will be there to make sure it is done.  Maybe you should tell him that he needs a babysitter and if he doesn't straighten up his act that is what you will do.  

Sorry I didn't have any better ideas.