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Messages - dsm

Prayers are coming to you and may you have the strength both physically and emotionally to hold things together during this difficult time!!!!!   Angels watch over you each day!!!!!

Keep us posted!  I too miss the chats of old days......

dsm - 34
DH - 38
SD - 15
LO - 9
BB - 2
2 Cheap Entertainment cats - Snoop & Dagger - 5 years and counting.....
The only reason I can think of for a stepparent not to go to a function is if he/she is not really involved in raising the child.  You, from the sounds of it, are deeply involved.  My God - the child is in your home 1/2 of the time, and you are indeed a mother-figure in her life.

So long as your DH backs you up, go ahead and go to the functions, be there to support your SD; get to know the school, teachers, friends.  Let the PBFH blow her stack all she wants.  I laugh at your post saying her letter said that your presence was 'annoying'.  Too bad.  That's HER problem.  Not yours, your SD, or your DH's.  So long as you don't walk up and slap the woman, who cares what she thinks????  Do your thing, and don't worry about her.

When we were NCP to my SD, her teachers welcomed my DH and my involvement - one even said that a child cannot have too much love or support, so the more the merrier.

Just be aware that with as hurtful as your PB seems to be, she will try to sabotage your relationship with the school, and your DH will need to be the one to set things straight with them.  Be super sweet with the school, give them all the help they need to help y'all.

Father's Issues / Couple of questions for you...
Apr 19, 2004, 01:15:18 PM
To me, the problem could be solved a bit if the father could pick the child up from school instead of at the child's home.  Is this possible with work schedules?  If so, request the modification to the order for it to happen and then it also gives the father a chance to be able to schedule some time with teachers to discuss stuff that might be going on in school too.  Be prepared for an argument of 'but the child has to have clothes for the weekend' - since the child is with the father 3 weekends a month (or at least 3 Friday overnights by your post), then the father could be keeping a 3-day supply of clothes at his place for the child, so there would be no need for clothes to be packed.  

How old is the child?  What grade?

To me, it sounds like the teacher had good intentions to begin with, and was willing to work with the father by sending duplicates home - and it *should* have worked.  It's a crying shame that the mother sabotaged that.  It is close to the end of this school year.  Try again with next year's teacher for duplicate stuff to come home - if you can, go to the school, or offer to provide self-addressed stamped envelopes for her to put the stuff in instead of including it in the folder going to the mother's house if the time can't be changed.  We did that and it worked; we got the 'big stuff' - not the every day homework, but we were copied on newsletters, program/play info, etc. And we were 3 hours away at the time.

Your question of can she be held in anything outlined in your current order?  If not, then there is technically nothing she is in contempt of.

And if the mother tries to use the fact that the dad didn't have the information against him for court or to bad-mouth him to the child - he needs to have the documentation together that this day he picked up child, asked about the school paperwork, was refused access.  Keep documenting....and keep asking.

Good luck!!!!!
Father's Issues / Stay away from Prepaid Legal.
Mar 22, 2004, 10:39:34 AM
Our experience was that they would be able to help with things like real estate, wills, bankruptcy.  But when it came to family law, they were not able to help out.

Good luck!