Messages

Send the letter if he wants ahead of time, but to help ease into things he should make his presence known from the get-go.  Keep it easy for the school and teachers to be able to get to know him/you.   Be proactive with things.  If you haven't heard from the teacher in a couple of weeks, give her the benefit of the doubt that she is swamped and give her a call.  Provide self-addressed stamped envelopes.  Email is WONDERFUL!!!!  and was an absolute god-send for us when we had to communicate with my SD's teachers before we got custody - it works very well now with custody of her too by the way (high school teachers are extremely difficult to catch up with!!!).   As often as possible, stop in to your SD's school - can he take her to school on Mondays or pick her up from school on Fridays?  If that is a possibility, let the teacher know when this will happen and schedule for 10 minutes to catchup with what is going on.   Even checking in with the principal and/or secretary helps.


==============================================================================

dsm - 34
DH - 38
SD - 15
LO - 9
BB - 2
------------------
2 Cheap Entertainment cats - Snoop & Dagger - 5 years and counting.....

Lucky's family and her situation is about as complex as you can get out here.  She knows the cps system, how to get through it.  

Show her post to your bf.  Understandably, he is worried about another false accusation from BM.  The residential treatment program would help to be a buffer IMHO.  The focus needs to be on the child and transition back with your family - BM is a side issue.

Good luck and keep us updated.

==============================================================================

dsm - 37; DH - 40; SD - 18; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
It's time for me to do for me and mine.  The others can worry about themselves for awhile.

the children are to be known your DH last name, yes?

You agree that the children saw this doctor on whatever day/time?  And that services were rendered?  Yes?

If yes to above, then I would not keep the doctor's office in the middle of the idiocity.  I would send a copy of the court order to the clinic and request corrected invoice.  Then I would go ahead and pay the portion your DH is required to pay once you receive the corrected invoice.

cc PB of course

Otherwise, you are just stooping to her level and playing in her sandbox....nasty place that it is and twisted with manipulation.

==============================================================================

dsm - 37; DH - 40; SD - 18; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
It's time for me to do for me and mine.  The others can worry about themselves for awhile.

I don't get out to this board as much as I should.  I'm so sorry to hear of this happening to you.  I hope you are healing and getting through okay.

I know how difficult it is.  BTDT.  Mine was at 16 weeks.  Give yourself time.  

((((HUGS))))

==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 18; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
It's time for me to do for me and mine.  The others can worry about themselves for awhile.

And I'm going to back up just a bit more.....


In I think your first post you state that this child is with you 30-40% of the time.  Does your DH share legal custody with the mom?  If so, here's what I would do.  From another post you state your insurance covers 100% of the cost for evaluation, counseling, etc.  I would take the school records and make an emergency appointment with a coverage psychologist - not tied to the school.  I would notify BM of the appointment and state that in light of the past 4+years' events and continued episodes you are getting this child some help.  

BM may fight you on it, but your DH has as much right as she does to make decisions for the child's best interest.  So do that.  And then schedule followup appointments on your time.  If the psychologist recommends an in-patient program, notify BM of such, and be sure to keep things open-door so that she always has the option to contact the psychologist.  And then, get her some help.

What you describe is reminiscent of my older brother and how he reacts to me and my little brother.  .... it was ugly - ugly - ugly when we were kids.  He was extremely abusive to us (dumped a vaporizer over my little brother when he was 2 or 3 which he still has a burn scar from some 30 years later; broke my leg when I was in 5th grade...list goes on).  The state got involved in the situation with my brother....  that was not pretty.  And I would not wish that on anyone.  My parents didn't have insurance back then that would cover psychological treatment and I guess alot of other issues that they didn't share with us.  Just be careful if DHS ends up in the scenario.   Your other kids could be removed from you as well - at least while their initial reports are completed.

Keep your documents together and know who and what you're up against.  Education is the best way for that to happen.  

Good luck!!!

==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 18; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
It's time for me to do for me and mine.  The others can worry about themselves for awhile.

How exciting!  It's time for you and your DH to enjoy things.

Let us know how things progress and how baby is doing every so often.

:)

==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 17; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh
------------------

Kudos to you for being the way you are!  And how neat of your kids to acknowledge their stepdad!


==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 17; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh
------------------

Does he like to fish?  Take him fishing.  Go on a picnic.  Go for a bike ride.  Watch movies.  Play video games.  Have nookie.  Go to the beach.  Go golfing.  Anything.  The point is to acknowledge his hurt, but don't let him wallow in it.  And don't you wallow in it either.  Own it and then move on with your regular activities.  Otherwise, it eats and eats at you.


==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 17; LO - 11; BB - 4
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh
------------------

Hang in there and just keep on keeping on.....

one day it will come back around.....

(((HUGS)))

==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 17; LO - 11; BB - 3
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh
------------------

Here is beautiful baby boy:

[img src=http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/pics/Lucky2.jpg]


Congrats to Lucky, her DH, and her SD!!!!!    He's just lovely!!!!   :D

==============================================================================

dsm - 36; DH - 40; SD - 17; LO - 11; BB - 3
------------------
3 Cheap Entertainment cats - Sam,  Snoop & Dagger
------------------
Live, Love, and Laugh
------------------