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I know for schools, we can call and tell them whatever it is and then they make the determination on what to do. I would think that DHS will look into it and see if it warrants a report. Maybe it is something that they just will keep track of in case it involves something else down the line (?)

If you go for child support then he can ask for visitation. The court will not terminate rights unless there is a good reason. Even is some severe cases, supervised visitation is offered. You will have to make a personal decision on this one. If he is not violent or into drugs then maybe having you go for child support will start the bond that your son should have with his father if at all possible. Good luck!

What is she serving you with? Child support? Visitation? If you both agree to continue doing what you are doing (or agree to any changes) you can go to court with the agreement and they will ask if you both agree and it will be done. There are child support calculators on-line for each state. You can check and see if what you are paying is what the court would order if you do not agree. If you do not agree, then you can most courts will send you to the mediator first to see if you can work it out there before going to a full-hearing or trial. Does she have a lawyer? Good luck!

I guess I was being fair....can you legally put it into your child support papers that the NCP can claim the amount they pay? I guess as long both parents don't claim the IRS will not investigate it because we both have been doing it but splitting the amount so it adds up to what the childcare center gets. Thanks for clarifying!

Not true and NCP can claim especially if it is in your separation or divorce papers....This is from the IRS site...

Child of divorced or separated parents.   Even if you cannot claim your child as a dependent, he or she is treated as your qualifying person if:


      The child was under age 13 or was physically or mentally not able to care for himself or herself,


      You were the child's custodial parent (the parent with whom the child lived for the greater part of 2005), and

      The noncustodial parent is entitled to claim the child as a dependent under the special rules for a child of divorced or separated parents.

How is their school work and what do their teachers say about their clothes? If they are coming to school with the same clothes on, they can file a report.  Will she agree to increased time? Tell her you are willing to watch them after-school and get them to school a few mornings.(?) They are too young to talk to a judge or decide where they want to live. I would see if mom will let you have more time and keep CS the same for now and document all the time you do get (and talk to the kids teachers and see what info you can get) Good luck!

HI,
What state are you in? There are child support calculators on the web that you can figure out around how much you should be sending her. Is the child support court ordered now? Do you have anything through the courts now regarding custody/visitation?

When the daycare issue is brought up, I would have him state that he will pay half of a certified daycare. If she states that the "grandparents" are watching the child, then say fine but grandparents do it for free :) If  it is not court ordered now, I would be careful paying that bill because then you are saying you agree to that set up. Do you have a lawyer? I really think you have a good chance with this battle but half of the cost of a daycare place vs the amount you are paying now is what? Here, daycare has to be when the CP works and not just because CP feels like it. Good Luck!

I was thinking this also. Here, I have to put the kids in a certified daycare or after-school program for their father to pay half. Then we split the amount at tax time. I would take it from this angle also but I would deal with it through BM. Is the child care court ordered now?

Where does your son want to live? It does not sound like a healthy environment but unless your son wants to live with you it will be hard. As for the child support, she is right if son is living with her. (and you are lucky because she could probably make a case for daughter due to her age) Since she quit school and is not living at home that does go in your favor. Does son talk to daughter? Next time son see his sister, send her a card and let her know that you know of the situation and would like to talk to her. Once you get to her one time, then your ex is out of the picture. Good luck!