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the way he wants to try to enforce the 183 days is to have their regular verbal agreement, and then add them staying overnight on tuesdays to make it even.  so it would be Sat-Tues and then every other week Sat-Wed, we think that then it will be completely equal with over nights. 

by the way, we have always let them stay later or spend an extra night at mom's if there was something special going on, or they asked. 

can i do that without his permission, it is illegal for us to record conversation without consent of the other person involved......

sorry, i think this is more of a rant than anything....


My husband's BM recently got married to a man she had know for less than a year.  He is not involved with the kids, he doesn't barely even know them.   The problem is, he thinks he is involved in their disputes.  First of all, she has probably never told him the truth about all the stuff she has put my husband's children through.  Now my husband and BM are in a pretty nasty dispute, she lost in court against him recently and is very pissed.  what upsets me is that BM's husband thinks this is his fight.  He gets all crazy when we pick up the kids, he has threatened my husband more than once.   I on the other hand, have been sitting by my husband's side for 4 years silently.  Of course i talk shit with my husband.  But I have NEVER in 4 years said a bad word to her to her face or over the phone.  I NEVER talk bad about her around the kids or to the kids.  I always just tell them that i want whats best for them and for them to be happy.

do we just have to deal with his ridiculous behaviour?  My husband has called the police once to make a complaint.  But technically the step-dad has never hit my husband, just threatened, and screams and calls bad names.  I think he is just trying to defend his wife's honor or something macho like that, but I think he is completely out of hand, and I do not want the kids to witness him putting his fists up at their father.  It just makes me so mad, because obviously if he is going to behave this way, he clearly doesnt care about his new step-children.....

does anyone else have to deal with this?

we didnt think so.  tomorrow he is going town to get all of their court papers since they have been involved with the courts, then request mediation.  if she doesnt agree to what they have always been doing, he is going to request that the 183 overnights be enforced (since that is the only thing they have in writing.)

thank you.

My husband and his boys' BM have had a verbal visitation agreement for 4 years straight, and while they were seperated on and off  3 years before that.  It has is as follows.  Dad picks up boys between 10am and 2pm every saturday and drops boys off at about 7:30pm every Tuesday.  This has gone on without much of a hitch the entire time.  (she has called the cops twice when she was pregnant, but the cops always let the children leave with their father.)

Now she is married and has a new attitude.  She just lost in court against my husband over her trying to switch them schools for the 7th time for the 5th grader.  The court ordered the children to stay in their current school district (which is the one she put them in one year ago, about a week before she met her new husband, now she wants them where she is living for the moment).  Anyway, she got mad and wouldnt let them go with him the following Saturday.  The cops couldnt let the children go with us because they have no court document because they have always followed the verbal agreement.    So we left and she eventually dropped them off later on Saturday. 

My husband wrote up an paper for her to sign with their normal agreement.  She refused and left.  (the cops cant make them go with her from our house for the same reason they couldnt go with us)   THen she told us that they are going to file a contempt of court against my husband tomorrow.  The only problem i believe with that is that they have no paper work court papers or other that have their visitation written down.  So there fore, in my mind, he is in no violation of any court document.  Also,  the only paperwork that they have that has to do with visitation, is his order for child support which states they both have physical and legal custody and he has them for 183 nights a year and she has 182 nights.  So technically, their verbal agreement she has been getting more time.

So anyway, I am wondering if she can really get him arrested when there is no visitation paperwork?