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#71
Visitation Issues / Re: Visitation - a lot has wen...
Last post by Waylon - Jun 24, 2019, 10:11:34 AM
Quote from: dipper on Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AM
We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth.  ....   We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason.    He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment.  But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.
1) Right, everything is your fault, got it. That's mighty convenient for him, not having to take any responsibility for his actions.

2) They always say they'll get help, and 99.99999999% it never happens or it doesn't stick.

3) See #2.
#72
Father's Issues / Re: When is the right time to ...
Last post by Waylon - Jun 24, 2019, 10:08:16 AM
Good question...
I threw out about 90% after my son turned 21. I kept a few specific items like my hand written diaries/logs, and a few court docs that I thought had significance (like the parenting evaluation report).

The rest I took and burned in a friend's backyard fire pit. I had more than 3 feet of paper (!!) stacked up to burn.

If you think you might need any of it someday you could always scan all of it with a document scanner and then trash the physical copies. Burn a couple CDs and also throw copies on a couple of thumb drives. Or, zip it all up and put it in an Amazon S3 bucket,  that way it'll never ever get lost.


#73
Visitation Issues / Visitation - a lot has went on
Last post by dipper - Jun 20, 2019, 10:14:57 AM
Hi,


We have primary custody since January 2018.  BM and her mother shared joint legal with us and had visitation.  Son had supervised visitation with no set times.   Things went on, I filed a show cause.  BM filed for sole custody.  Maternal grandmother was supportive of this and willing to come off of order completely.    During this time, bm was dating, planned on moving in with him, got pregnant on purpose - she had cystic fibrosis and it was not managed well.   She did not do what she needed to do.  Her health deteriated quickly.  Went to court in February- her lawyer told her to drop it.  She had notified everyone that she would be moving in December - into a trailer in the man's parent's yard and it still was not ready in February and no date in site.   Her attorney told our attorney - she will never move and she cannot take care of a child.   


So, an agreement was reached instead.  We dropped show cause.   She dropped sole custody.   We took Wednesdays out of visitation and some was altered to make up for that.   Maternal grandmother was not named in new visitation changes.   ONLY the mother was named for weekend visitation and 4 weeks during summer.    Grandmother signed the document.   I have emails from bm stating that when she moved child would be with her, living with her - nights with her.


BM had the baby three months early in March.   BM died in mid April.   Apparently a bacterial infection set up.  They let us know nothing of how serious her condition was until the night before she died.   It is awful...and we truly feel for everyone.   GD is doing okay....we already had her in therapy.  We work on a memory book.


But the situation now........the maternal grandmother, in our opinion, does not have the same rights she did prior to that amendment in February.   We have filed for a clarification from the court.   We have also filed to have the joint legal decision making taken away as we have never gotten along.  I found case law that cited that it would be stressful on a child to make a situation that requires cooperation and communication where none exists.   Anyway, talked with GAL and she agrees about joint legal.  She was not direct about visitation, but did ask if she could send our proposal of what we would offer to the grandmother - which kind of implies something to us. 


However, grandmother had approached her ex (bm's dad) within days of bm passing away asking him to do something about us having custody.  He said she also approached his family.    She has now made a bedroom for gd and her brother when he gets out of the hospital.   


Our son, who has supervised visitation, has been an issue for us.   He does not want to pay any child support and calls us money greedy.   I have filed through DCSE to let them handle it.    He has never acted so mean before.   We found out Tuesday that he is on Meth.  He called my husband out of his head and paranoid.   We went with him to the ER and found out he had went to the ER on Monday too for same reason.    He says he will get help and attend outpatient treatment.  But, he also says his drug use is all our fault for filing for child support.   


The part with the maternal grandmother - I expect she will file for sole custody.  It is typically their way to wait until the day of court or the day before to file.   


Son - I don't know whether to file to have even the supervised visits stripped until he goes through treatment and tests clean for a certain amount of time.  Or just give these facts to the judge and let her do whatever she does.





#74
Father's Issues / When is the right time to thow...
Last post by MixedBag - Jun 19, 2019, 06:37:50 PM
There are advocates of tossing all of your documentation once your child emancipates....and there are advocates of the need to preserve history because too often history gets re-written by alienators....  Well, I share another reason today NOT to throw it out that caught me by surprise.  I divorced #2 in 1996 and did not ask for my last name to change.  I kept it.  Then 6 months later, I went to the local court to have it changed legally and pressed on with life.  Well, today I find out that the VA doesn't have my current last name in their system correct in ALL of the different departments.  I was active duty military, even retired under my maiden name, but this one flippin' office or department still has my former name.  So I need a state ID AND divorce to show I was allowed to change my name.  I said "But it's not in the divorce, can't you accept my passport, or my retired military ID,or my DDForm214?"  He said NO, it has to be a court order.  THANKFULLY, I'm anal when it comes to documentation -- and I had it handy in my "all about Iris" file...and I could send off a copy and now wait.  But imagine if I had to contact the court -- 12 hours away -- ask for a record to be pulled that's over 20 years ago (which takes 3 - 5 business days) because back then, NOTHING was electronic.....
#75
Custody Issues / Re: GAL, legal complaint, DV i...
Last post by ocean - Jun 04, 2019, 04:17:10 PM
We went through this. Suggestion: File to have counseling court ordered for you and child. Find a therapist near you that is willing to take this on. Go see them first. Then file in court naming this therapist so that you can child can start to form relationship. Child needs outsider to help you without mom being there. Keep up with any visits you are allowed and just make a relationship for the two of you and not bring up mom. If child does, just answer honestly and move on. We fought the good fight and lost as mom PAS the kids to death. As child gets older and if you are still there, hopefully they will start to see mom true colors. If their is another incident with the school, ask them to get CPS involved.Sounds like the child may need counseling other than the relationship for you so maybe the counselor can use some time to deal with school/other issues too. Good luck!
#76
Custody Issues / GAL, legal complaint, DV issue
Last post by michelec3 - Jun 03, 2019, 10:58:46 PM
I filed a motion to enforce parenting time.  The judge pushed it off onto the child support hearing officer who laughed and said was he supposed to issue a bench warrant for my son when he was refusing to go?  I told him that don was allowed to do whatever son wanted, mentioned other overly permissive parenting (I did not say that specifically) and ex had my son write stupid inaccurate things about me that "explained" why ex was not helping enforce my time, etc.
this was allowing son who was already expelled from 2 schools for sexual assault and solicitation with an electronic device to continue to do what he wanted.

I filed an appeal for that motion.  It is now including the GAL who sided with abusive ex in the first place, made sure that no DV assessment was done, used coercive control on me and my lawyer - whose other client had this guy as a GAL also and in march 2014 said he tended to give custody to the parent who did not video tape the children (to prove abuse).   Anybody know anything to do about this?  I was supposed to get help from my lawyer after the trial to file a complaint against him - but of course nothing happened.  Her other client had him as the GAL.  Would filing my complaint now get rid of him?    There are no rules for the GALs in this state that I know of.  I cant afford a lawyer.   

I am scared I am losing my son with the narcissistic dv behavior that the ex is teaching son.  Already I only have him hours on Monday and some thursdays.

Anybody know someone who filed a complaint against a therapist for something that got their license revoked? 
#77
Texas State Forum / Ex only exercising parenting t...
Last post by Candyland - May 16, 2019, 06:59:28 PM
My ex continues to exercise his parenting time with one out of two of our children. There's nothing in our divorce decree that says he can't so he keeps doing so and it is negatively impacting both our kids. Can I modify to enforce visitation to be with both kids? What are the chances the judge will order that change?
#78
Georgia State Forum / Parental alienation from guard...
Last post by Hwilliams28 - Apr 30, 2019, 01:22:00 PM
Hi my case has been extremely chaotic. Long story but most recently.
I have filled moitons for contempt and modification because my aunt the guardian has chosen to completely alienate me from my 3 kids. The 2 older ones still communicate through FB but if they get caught they get in trouble.
I'm awaiting a court date now.
Is there anything else I need to do before court that would help me out. ?
#79
Chit Chat / Re: Just passing through, don'...
Last post by Waylon - Apr 13, 2019, 03:42:36 PM
You're welcome to post stuff here if you like, within reason.



Quote from: Tombo on Apr 13, 2019, 02:57:32 PMI'm curious who actually reads this. If nobody replies to this, I will start using this post as my own personal social media site for me and my friends, since it appears this section of the internet is pretty quiet.

Speak now or forever hold your peace:
#80
Chit Chat / Just passing through, don't mi...
Last post by Tombo - Apr 13, 2019, 02:57:32 PM
I'm curious who actually reads this. If nobody replies to this, I will start using this post as my own personal social media site for me and my friends, since it appears this section of the internet is pretty quiet.

Speak now or forever hold your peace: