Single Colorado Dad Questions.

[Jade]

>Yes, you are right, there are a few development experts who
>would not recommend against sharing a bed with your child.
>However, they are a very small minority, and their methods are
>still considered controversial.  If his ex decided she wanted
>to create trouble she could do so very easily if they are
>sharing a bed or a bedroom.  Our judicial systems tend to be
>hyper-alert when it comes to these types of situations, and
>they tend to prefer erring on the side on caution, and
>conservative parenting.  I think he might have a hard time
>finding a judge who would go on record saying that he supports
>children sharing a bed with their parents.
>
>I'm speaking from having to defend accusations by my fiance's
>ex wife stating that, among other things, we allow his
>daughter to sleep with us.  We've had to defend in court and
>to therapists.  If he wants to win custody of his son he may
>do well to avoid these types of accusations.  While he may
>believe that sleeping with his son is the ideal, it won't
>cause his son harm to have to sleep in his own bed in his own
>room.  I'm sure you would agree it's a better alternative to
>losing custody of his son.

You are right.  And that sucks.  A way to make the transition easier would be if he were to sleep with his child in the child's room for a few nights.  And then just sleep in there if his child gets up at night.  This way, he can honestly say that his child sleeps in his own room.  Just don't volunteer any more information than that.  

[carlow81]

That's going to be a tough one because the basement we live in only has one bedroom and a living room. I don't think he would have a problem sleeping on his own. Should I move my bed into the living room area and have the bedroom be only his?

Oh and I did retain a lawyer today. He likes my chances just based on some of the physical evidence I have (such as records with each parent and the fact that she has lived in about 8 different places in 5 years and has been evicted twice). I am probably not going to have her served until after she gets back from a vacation with my kid. She is going to Washington from the 14th-18th and don't want her to get any crazy ideas about keeping him out there and away from me.

[mistoffolees]

I might be inclined to go halfway - get him his own bed NOW, but I don't see that it's the end of the world if it's in your room for a while longer. However, my own opinion is that by the time he's school age, he'll need a room of his own.

Of course, that's only personal opinion and has no bearing on how the court will see it.

[carlow81]

OK so I am back with some new information. We had our initial status conference today. She wants Child Support now as well as Primary Parental Custody. Exactly what I filed for. She had her lawyer try and put in a temporary order today for Child Support. I countered that by saying "wait wait wait, I've been the majority parent (overwhelmingly) for 3 years now. If anything, i'm due back-child support". I have some pretty decent documentation going back to about a year after my son was born. They decided that they want to hire a Family Investigator to monitor the child when he is at both parties houses. They decide this before I am even given the opportunity to show documentation that I have that logs just how little time she spent with her son in the past. Will I be given the opportunity to prove that or am I now at the mercy of the Investigator? We have court date for March 23rd to get orders in for Child Support which in my eyes, I believe I am entitled to. I mean when a mom abandons her kid for weeks, even as much as a month at a time, that's got to count for something right?

Also, in what I believe is a attempt to gain favor, she put my son in a pre-school today. Which I don't know how well that will work considering that we exchange Isaac every four days so he is not with one parent, the same days, each week. Do I look bad for not enrolling him first? I asked my lawyer and he said it doesn't matter. But I don't know that I agree with him on that one.