Dad Needs Advise on Custody

[Hop on Pop]

My wife had an affair with our plumber and ran off with our 4 children.  One of the children turned out to be the plumber's biological daughter.  She took the children far away from me.  After a year of separation my wife filed for divorce.  

No court order for custody was ever made, but we did work out a basic custody agreement out of court. The agreement says we both have joint legal and physical custody.  My visitation time is listed as the standard every other weekend and 1 evening a week.  At the time this was the best I could get her to agree to.  I had to drive 12 hours round trip each visit to see my children, but I never missed a visit.

I repeatedly suggested moving to the town my kids lived in so I could resume a more "normal" relationship with them but she promised to move if I came closer.  My attorney advised that the best thing I could do would be to get money for a court fight (if it came to that) and then move into her town and start a custody suit.

I moved across the country for a year when a good paying job opportunity came along.  I now have ample funds saved for a custody fight.  I also remarried during this time.  While away for a year I have flown back to visit my children every single month and have called them daily.  I flew them out for a summer visit with me.

I am now prepared to move to the town where my children live and demand more time with my children.  I have been dedicated and involved from the very beginning.  My ex wife knows I am moving back and has now indicated plans to move again shortly after I get there.

I'm not trying to take the children away from their mother... just ensure that I get 50% visitation and some way of keeping her from running off with my children again.

If you were me, what would you do?

[hypnotist]

I know that this won't really be as helpful as you would like but HIRE A LAWYER in the town you plan to move to ASAP.  There are a lot of resources to locate a good lawyer all around the internet.

Even a lawyer on here reading your question can't be very helpful if he doesn't know the laws of the area you plan to move, so your best option is to find out what the law is in that area.  

Heck, you should have hired a lawyer in that area even before you told your ex you were planning to move there.  A lawyer could possibly get a court order stopping her from moving until you get a court hearing, at the very least.  If she moved and there was an order preventing her from moving then she would be guilty of kidnapping.  But now, if she moves there is nothing stopping her UNTIL you hire a lawyer and make it so she can't move until you get your day in court.  

Good Luck!

J.

[Davy]

First, your written and verbal commmunication is a reflection of your mindset so consider changing your mindset whereas the children belong primarily with you rather than the other parent who has already abscounded with your children.  It is best not to broadcast any of your intentions to the opposing party.  

By the way, the government will (may) consider the fourth child as your child if you were married to the bimbo when the child was conceived / born.  Her bozzo may be surprised of his civil/criminal liabilties if he spirited your children away.    

Secondly, if you are not experienced in interveiwing/retaining counsel, especially over the phone, you may want to seek advice (articles on this site) concerning this issue.  Further, you may want to consider retaining counsel outside of the local good-ole-boy system.

Lastly, you MUST emphasize that the chldren are not to be removed.
You can not prevent the other parent from moving so please don't assume in any of your communications the children automatically are the sole possession of the other parent (like the other parent does).  

Also consider, what would happen if the other parent is ordered not to remove the children and does not comply with the court order ......

Best to ya and the children !!!!!!!!

[Kent]

You need to hire an attorney in the town the children live in, and file for a change of parenting time, or better, a change of custody.

AS LONG AS YOUR CASE IS PENDING, SHE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO MOVE!

Then move there ASAP after you filed, and be prepared to get the same arrangement that is already in place. Also, it will be helpful if you can prove that she stated she will move when you move to her town just to get away from you. Is it in writing? Great! If you are both in one-party states, then record the conversation during which she makes that claim.
That will give you a lot of help.

Kent!

[FLMom]

I think Kent has given you some great advice. My only addition would be that in the future tell no one else, except maybe your wife and your dog, what your plans are. I wouldn't even let the kids know. This woman sounds bitter and nasty. Don't give her any extra info that she could use against you.

Good Luck,
FLMom