Transportation problem escalating

[IceMountain]

My orders state:

Custody of the parties' minor child*******, shall be and remain jointly in the parties as provided by law.  The primary physical residence of ********** shall be placed with the respondent, *********, subject to the following visitation schedule:

***** shall have visitation with the children alternating weekends from 5:00 p.m. Friday until 5:00 p.m. Sunday commencing with the second weekend following entry of the decree herein;

Six weeks summer visitation.  ***** shall provide notice of his intention to exercise summer visitation not less than four weeks prior to the actual exercise of said visitation.  *************** shall receive alternating weekend visitation during's *****'s summer visitation.  Said weekend visitation shall be from 5:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. Sunday, (yep, you read that right it states 5 to 5 on sunday, a typo that could be difficult for CP), commencing with the second week of *****'s summer visitation.

During each even-numbered year, ***** shall have visitation with the minor child on Easter Sunday, July 4th and Thanksgiving Day from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., and from 12:00 noon on December 23 until 9:00 p.m. on December 24th; during each odd-numbered year, the same oare reserved for **********.

During each odd-numbered year, ****** will have visitation with the minor child on New Year's Day, Memorial Day and Labor Day from 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and from 9:00 p.m. on December 24 until 5:00 p.m. on December 25; during each even-numbered year, these are reserved for **************.

***** will be entitled to have the child every Father's Day and ********* will be entitled to have the children every Mother's Day, irrespective of teh visitation schedule set forth above.

***** Robert shall, in any event, have reasonable access to visit the minor child on his birthdays, and on his own birthday, by telephone, or otherwise, as the parties may agree.

Such other times as the parties shall mutually agree.

As you can read, it does not state anything about transportation.  Our situation concerning the transportation issue has gotten ugly over the weekend.  (see my other post:  Frustrated)

I informed my ex that I will not be meeting her where she wants me to and that I will be meeting her at the 1/2 way point.  She replied saying I could pick my son up at her home and that her only responsibility is to 'make my son available' for my visitation.  I replied by telling her if I was going to pick him up at her house then she would be driving the 4 hours to my house on Sunday to pick him up.  After all, by her logic, I only have to 'make him available' for her to start her visitation.  I also reminded her that Sunday was Mother's Day and that she would be picking him up at 9:00 a.m.

She then replied that this Sunday she would pick him up at my home because it is her Mother's Day visitation, but future weekends will find me doing all of the driving.  

Funny how 2 days ago she could not drive her car even 2 hours, or borrow a car to drive the 2 hours... yet now she can make it 4 hours????

She also stated that on future weekends if I do not return my son to her home she will 'pursue it' meaning her earlier threat of calling the cops.  And that if I didn't like it I could take her to court.  I've saved the msgs she left on my phone and recorded them to a tape.  Last summer when things were 'touchy' I started recording all phone converstations with my ex.  Then, I stopped when things seemed back to 'normal'.  I now regret not keeping that continuous log.  I bought a voice recorder today for pick-up and drop-offs and to record phone conversations and msgs.

I know the police will consider this a civil matter and not do anything when she calls the cops.  Any other suggestions?

Again, sorry for the long post.

[Fobbed-Fodder]

Look very closely at your child support Work Sheets and your Order of Child Support to see if transportation costs were addressed, and if so in what proportional shares.

This is what my parenting plan says:

TRANSPORTATION ARRANGEMENTS.
Transportation arrangements for the child, between parents shall be as follows:

[X]   Parents shall share transportation.

[X]   The receiving parent shall pick up the child at the other parents home.  


You might be able to file a MOTION TO CORRECT CLERICAL ERROR AND MINOR MODIFICATION OF PARENTING PLAN (regarding the 5:00 pm - 5:00 pm error), and for the inclusion of a transportation provision concerning the exchange of the parties' child.

You could base that part of your motion concerning transportation on the child's best interest in your attached declaration which must accompany your motion as follows:

   I Icemountain am the petitioner/respondent in this action and I bring this motion in good faith to correct the clerical error regarding the 5:00 pm visitation time, and to add a transportation provision to our parenting plan concerning the exchange of our child between homes.  I believe that a transportation provision is necessary in order to secure and promote a positive co-parenting environment between mom and dad, ultimately serving our child's best interest by elevating uncertain and confusing methods of exchange for our child.

   I have attached to this motion a Proposed Amended Parenting Plan with the clerical corrections and transportation provision for the courts review and approval.


Here are a few good links

Check out
DIVISION IV PLEADINGS AND MOTIONS and Rule 1.433 Motion for more specific statement, and Rule 1.457 Amending to conform to the evidence

http://www.iowalaw.com/rcp.nsf/0/7500fb0dd43ff07786256b59006e381c?OpenDocument

http://www.legis.state.ia.us/IowaLaw.html

Learn how to write a motion, start reading, look for blank forms, Pro Se help in your area.

If you intend to go Pro Se then you need to get educated on your local court rules as well.
Dig in and get to work.

[Kitty C.]

Let her call the cops!  They will tell her that if she wants her child back, she's going to have to go get him herself and/or take you back to court for it!

The best advice I've ever heard here in regards to transportation is 'He who wants, fetches.'  Go get your child at her home.  As you leave, remind her AGAIN that she will need to come get him at the end of your visitation. Do NOT tell her this on the phone, as she may try to deny you visitation when you get there.  If she threatens to call the cops, tell her to go ahead, that all they will tell her is to contact her atty. or go get him herself if she wants him back that bad.  Your lack of concern for her calling the authorities will make her think twice about it, at the very least.

We had the same issue come up with DH's ex during our first Christmas together.  She told DH that if we didn't return SS that evening already (we were supposed to have him for 3 days total), she'd call the cops.  DH was stressed out all day, knowing that he had the right to have SS for 3 days, but worried about the cops being involved.  Being in local EMS, I knew the deputy on duty that day and talked to him about the situation.  He said she could call them, but they'd just tell her to contact her atty.  She did call, and they told her exactly what he told us....and we DID have SS for the full 3 days, much to ex's chagrin.  She's never threatened the cops since!  

When she does come to get him at YOUR home, tell her if she has problems with the transportation issue, to take it up with the court.  Let HER spend the money, if it's that big a deal to her!  

[IceMountain]

I checked my child support order.  It also does not address transportation.  

So, what you are saying is I could file a motion to correct the error, in good faith, and at the same time introduce the transportation issue.

Is there a way to find out what motions can be filed with a court?  How do I know the exact name of a motion for my state?  Do I need to go to the courthouse to get copies of motions?  Can I obtain help only at a district court?  Will a county courthouse have resources available to me for filing these motions?  I'm 2 hours from my district court where the motions will need to be filed.

I could find info on other courts proceedings and filings; ex: small claims, but have not been able to find forms for family/civil court.

Thanks for providing another excellent link.

[IceMountain]

I'm in Wisconsin, she's in Iowa.  Will that affect how the cops react to her call?

[Kitty C.]

I seriously doubt it............cops are the same regardless of where you go, they do NOT like domestic calls.  Unless there is a criminal law broken (strictly a civil matter), they will tell her to take it up with her atty. and the courts.  They may document the situation, but that is the extent of it.  They can read the order themselves and will NOT be able to pin anything criminal on you, as the responsibility for transportation is just as vague to them as it is to you.