lost in the system

[shopdog]

see if i can keep this short i need help understanding the calif courts. ok it started almost 2 years ago i moved out because of abuse (hers) she allowed me to see the kids when ever i wanted until she found out i was dating then she began hiding them from me. i filed divorce and custdy papers we were sent to a meditor i thought we would with the her help work out something well that was wrong my ex had called ahead and said she was a victum of abuse and drugs heres the hard part i have no record of any kind not even a traffic ticket i dont drink or take drugs she drinks and has 3 run ins with cps all on record but me nothing yet i was order to do anger mangement and drug class which i have finished. she was later order to do an eval but has not. i still only have sat. 9-6 to make things worst by a freak accident i found out that during the time she was hiding the kids from me that her sisters husband was molesting my 2 daughters my ex covinced the system again with no proof that i should not be told my daughters are dying inside they want to tell me but are afraid now i have all this in docs everything she has nothing on me we get to court im thinking things can only get better but she starts accessing me again the courts didnt even listen to me they just order a 3111 eval. ? can someone tell me what that is and what is going to happen is this person like the meditor or not i want to be ready for anything so i could use knowing what that is please. the system says it there for the kids but i dont see it please help

[Brent]

A couple of suggestions...

1) Break your post up into paragraphs so people can read it more easily.

2) Use some punctuation so we know where the sentences start and stop.

3) Start reading these pages. Some of them will apply more than others, but they all have valuable information:

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

4) If you don't have an attorney, get one.

5) One of the first things you'll hear is "Document, document, document!".  Get yourself either the PTT or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is better.

[shopdog]

thanks brent. one thing about the post is i have always written like that even written two books the same way just me. as far as docs i have more than you can imagine i have to have all bases covered when i went to court i had everything on paper plus i set it up where the judge could of called the arresting officer, anger management therpist and anyone else needed to verify my paper work but the judge didnt even look at it. so all was for not but i still need to know about the 3111 eval. but thanks for the other info

[gipsy]

Been there done that !
    First let Me say whats screwed about the system , They just seem to believe all this crap , But here's what happened to Me, NOTHING  really came up in any of the evals that was of most importance , None of this crap really made a bit of difference at trial , I got EOW and every Thursday after school and summer vacation ,
 What came of the whole thing is this , Mom Made allegations , And I eventually reacted to some of this crap , Then It was like well now I was provoked and now I did something , And the fingers got pointed etc ,So EXCEPT for my reaction to this crap NOTHING came of it !!, I was told from the beginning let her do all the crap, and you keep your nose clean , And I am telling you this . Keep your nose clean , Don't even ever let the kids  Hear You say something bad about mom , Look at it like this If the kids are talked to By the Guardian ad Litem , If they do that In Cali, And the Kids say Mom hates Dad , And Dad say's good things about Mom , Then then You look good , If they say some thing else You look stupid , If she pulls all this crap And you keep cool . And It turns out that nothing checks out then she will look reaaaaalllyy bad , And the courts do no like a hoax , You have to remember , At trial The judge or commissioner hears the whole thing , If The Judge hears , Blah Blah, Mom did this Dad accused mom of XYZ . And it didn't check out , And Mom accused Dad of ABC and it did not check out then the judge can't decipher much and you will get visits , But if the judge Figures out Mom has put a big hoaxe to the court , then the judge won't like it , But if like me ,you react and some one documents , like an evaluater , or GAL then again the judge hears BLAH BLAH ,Dad reacted and its conflict, think of Imagine yourself to be the judge ,  How could it be decipphered who came first the chicken or the egg, KEEP your side clean ,
 Now about the evals , Remmember I took them and I can tell you If you admit to ever doing any thing bad. The evaluater will ask more questions , If you talk a bunch of crap about mom then She will have a chance to try to Lie more , I'm Telling you, go to it thinking this is an evaluation Of you And your mental health ,  Before you go , Write out every good thing that ever happened as a child as an adult , And A cute story about what goes on with you and your kids and tell how you love the little dears , And want more time with them . That is a good report , I got a good report in some aspects , But, YOU ARE OUT OF THE CONTROL OF THE EVALUATERS OPINION AFTER YOU LEAVE !!!!!!!!!
So Get those good stories straight , Don't give them any thing to even think negative ,  An example is , I talked about a bad occurence from child hood , and the evaluater was a wierdo [WIERDO!!!!!]  And comentated as if that crap happened yesterday , Never saying that It was twenty years ago , AGAIN!!! Don't even lead the interview to any bad or negative direction , You HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TIME , And if You  Say any thing bad some of that time will be spent on that < YOU ARE A GOOD BOY , And don't forget the most important thing I learned , THEY ONLY KNOW WHAT YOU TELL THEM !!!  The mother told them a bunch of pure bull shit , And they only know that she told them she has a perfect balanced life , Goes to the gym has hobbies , She lied her ass off and they believed it ,So click through this site And find the section on psych evals, and dealing with evaluaters , And read it three times over , No one is perfect But  I feel that You are dealling with the side of society that thinks if your not a calm well adjusted person you should be on prozac,     You are calm, grasshopper , The psycho In my case said she had a perfect life and Ideal child hood , She was molested etc felt like a loser , Doesn't socialise well , But she made it sound like she had a perfect life and she just wanted the discomfort of me the  bad person to get over with , And the freaking evaluater wrote all that crap down , So I advise say some shit like that , DON'T slam the Mother , Just say how good life is and this is like a nuisance how she is being so mean making up all these stories , And You, MR perfect Just so innocently want life to be readjusted to your normal level Of balance and social activity . I partly screwed up My psych evals and it can be avoided if you just talk about the good things , They will ask about the bad , Say ya skipped school one or something and leave it at that ,