Day Care

[JPGEO]

I pay child support and half of all day care expenses.  My ex-wife informs me that she signed the kids (12 & 10) up for summer camp.  They will attend for 2 weeks 24/7.  She informs me that since the camp is going to supervise them this is considered day care and I must pay for half $700.  I feel camp is optional and is not considered to be day care. Also how old is too old for day care.  My daughter is in Junior High and my ex picks and chooses when they go to day care or when they stay home alone.  Is there an age that is too old.  I'm sure paying half of child care doesn't mean until they are 18. Help please.  I live in CA should that matter for advice. Does camp fall under child support and extra cirricular activities?

[rini]

hello

1400 for 2 weeks of summer camp..  LOL..  this is more than it would cost for one month of day care for an infant.

i think it is an optional expense and i would refuse payment until court ordered unless it is stipulated to in the settlement agreement

these are usually optional expenses.

i would also post this to socrateaser on his board he is pretty familiar with CA rules if i remember correctly

follow the posting guidelines for his board so he will answer quickly.

these types of things are usually refered to in the states statutes individually.  but i am not a CA resident an am unfamiliar with the code.

I would how ever offer to pay for regular day care costs for each child or if you have the right of first refusal offer to care for them yourself in writing.

rini

[rainbow1]

Do you have joint custody? If the camp will interfere with your court ordered visitation she is not supposed to do this without your permission, unless the court order specifically says she can. You are also supposed to get the time made up to you if they do go. Without this stated in the court order and without your permission she should be financially liable for the entire amount. Send her a certified letter stating your opposition to losing this time with your children and refusal of permission. Keep a copy!

[wendl]

I could understand a day camp but omg 1400 for two weeks no way.
Hmm is this a licensed DAYCARE not a license camp but DAYCARE, approved and licensed by the daycare section of the state, if NOT I wouldn't pay.

My son is in middle school and he hasn't attended daycare for quite some time, In many states the legal age to babysit is 12, I would check into that, if your child is old enough by state statue to babysit others no way would I pay for daycare expenses. Unless the child has a handicap that would require daycare etc


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Bolivar OH]

What does your divorce decree state for your share of expenses?
What is your custody status?

What you are dealing with is an interpretation issue.  We must know the legal background concerning your arrangement.

[JPGEO]

MY SHARE EXSPENSES ARE 50% OF CHILD CARE AND ALL MEDICAL COPAYS ALONG WITH $1050.00 A MONTH FOR CHILD SUPPORT.  WE ARE NOT REQUIRED TO PAY FOR EXTRA CIRRICULAR ACTIVITIES.  SHE TRIED TO GET ME TO PAY FOR KARATE($500) AND BASEBALL ($200) COURTS SAY NO. I HAVE JOINT LEGAL ONLY W/VISITATION.  WHEN DOES CHILD CARE STOP.  DO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO COURT TO SPECIFY? DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR CHILD CARE AS LONG AS DHE WANTS THEM IN IT NO MATTER THEIR AGES.  I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I WOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR CHILD CARE UNTIL THEY ARE 18.  IS THERE A STANDARD AGE THAT IT CAN STOP WITHOUT GOING TO COURT? (CHILD SUPPORT STOPS AT 18 OR 19 IF STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL) NO COURT NESSECARY TO STOP.  MY EX PICKS AND CHOOSE WHEN SHE WANTS THEM IN DAYCARE.  IS CAMP 24/7 CONSIDERED DAYCARE.  I TRY TO STAY TO COURT ORDER.  I DON'T PAY FOR TOO MANY EXTRAS BECAUSE MY EX DOESN'T SUPPORT ME HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CHILDREN.  IT WAS OK UNTIL I WAS REMARRIED.  I WAS GOING TO PAY FOR HALF OF WHA IT WOULD COST FOR REGULAR DAYCARE BUT NOW SHE TREATS ME VERY POORLY AND THREATENS ME WITH COURT.  IS SHE ALLOWED TO TAKE ME TO COURT WHEN AVER SHE FEELS? WHEN I DO ETRAS I SHOULD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT NOT BECAUSE I'M BULLYED INTO IT.  WHEN I DON'T PAY FOR EXTRAS MY DAUGHTER WON'T TALK TO ME.  WHICH IS NOT HER FAULT BUT IS HER ACTION THAT DO NOT DESERVE REWARDING.

[Bolivar OH]

I know this is not what you were looking for, But............

Encarta Dictionary: English (North America)

Childcare = Supervision of children; the care and supervision of children by an adult, inside or outside the home and usually for pay, during times when the parents or guardians are at work.

Children = Plural of child.

Child = young human being; a young human being between birth and puberty.

Puberty = stage of physiological maturity;  the stage of becoming physiologically capable of sexual reproduction, marked by genital maturation, development of secondary sex characteristics, and, in girls, the first occurrence of menstruation

--->I would suggest calling you court house and finding out what the definition of Childcare is.  


"IS SHE ALLOWED TO TAKE ME TO COURT WHEN AVER SHE FEELS? "

---> YES,  when she does make sure your lawyer files a motion asking for legal fees to be reimbursed.  Also you may address other issues that have not been resolved.  

As for your daughter I recommend the book (class if you are close)

Dr. Jayne Major
Breakthrough Parenting Inc.
2118 Wilshire Blvd. #987
Santa Monica, CA 90403
Phone: (310) 207-9977
Links:
http://www.breakthroughparenting.com/
http://www.bpinaction.org


Hope this helps

[rini]

tell her no way hose

you are getting hosed...

tell her you will happily pay the day care expenses at their licensed day care that they attend.

get back into court and have the court order amended these kids are too old for day care and the older one can supervise the younger one if needed for a couple hours which i am sure she is already allowing when it is convenient for her.  

you need to get this on record

by the way what state are u in

rini

[JPGEO]

California.  I totally agree.  I just want the fight to stop.

[Bolivar OH]

Listen to me JPGEO – "NEVER GIVE UP!!!".  Yes I know your tired, I have been there many times myself.  Remember she will never go away!  When they said "until death do us part" even divorce can NOT stop your interaction with the eX.

If you settle for less than you deserve then she will always treat you like a door mat.  You MUST set boundaries and stick to them.

Here are some words of wisdom given to me during my struggle.

  1. Problems are inevitable.  "Being human in this world we will have trouble"
  2. Problems are unpredictable.  "Have you ever had a flat tire at a good time?  you cannot plain your troubles"
  3. Problems are impartial. "They happen to all human beings Good/Bad"
  4. Problems are temporary. "it is something you go through"
  5. Problems are purposeful.  "for some reason going through problems builds one character"


What to do?
  1. Refuse to be discouraged. "Keep the course"- "NEVER GIVE UP!".
  2. Do NOT take the problem personally.  "She would be a B*tch to whoever her eX was.  It is not about you, it is about her.  She is a mentally sick."