passport lie

[antonin]

I have 50/50. I picked my daughter up tonight to begin my week. I caught her going into my papers and getting her passport and hiding it in her suitcase. When I asked her what was up, she said her mother told her to get the passport becuase her mother was afraid I was going to kidnap daughter and take her to Europe.

Should I ignore this or is this indicative of a bigger problem?

[backwardsbike]

It seems you do have bigger problems.

1. Your child was rummaging around in your papers.  This is a boundary violation.  She was there without your consent.  I would wonder why and if the CP routinely tells the child to do this kind of PI work.

I don't mean to offend but I'm in a situation where the CP uses the kids to gather all kinds of info and if they don't find what he wants they make it up.  Yeah, I know it is messed up and I hope this isn't the case with you.  But like they say, " To be fore warned is to be fore armed."

2.Why on earth would the mom think you would kidnap your daughter?

Is there any possibilty that she could subconsiously be telling on herself.  This is something else I have learned from my twisted situation.  I also hope this isn't the case with you.

3.  If the mom thinks these things why on earth would she be telling the child.  Any kid in her right mind would become terrified of you.  Please be careful of PAS.

I do not mean to alarm but my ex bugged my apartment.  Snuck in and removed the bug. And had my friend of 20 years who absolutely loathed him during the marriage manipulated into tape recording my phone conversations with her without my permission. Yes, I live in a two party state so the friend was breaking the law for someone she abohred for at least 18 years. I have no way of proving any of this.  The best I could get was a security man's strong suspicion that a bug had been removed fom my television.  

This television was marital property.  My ex offered it to me and I was too naive and too poor to reuse to take it when he said, " I'll need a couple days to get it to you." when I lived just 2 miles from the marital home.

You could say that I'm older and wiser now.  Watch your back, friend

[joni]

I'm also concerned that your child is so obedient to mom's will as to violate your trust and privacy.  How old is your child?  If old enough to know what a passport is, you need to sit down with her and explain your disappointment.

The trust is gone.  The mother has power over this child.  I would hide or lock anything you don't want gone through.  I wouldn't trust what might else happen.

[StPaulieGirl]

Lord knows what will come up missing next.  I've had things come up missing in the past.  Handwritten letters from the ex for instance.  I started locking up the file cabinet.



Is there any possibilty that she could subconsiously be telling on herself. This is something else I have learned from my twisted situation. I also hope this isn't the case with you.

It's called "projection".  Took me years to finally see what he was doing.  Speaking of that and bugging phones, etc, towards the last month of living in the same house, the ex dumped a bag of junk into the trash.  Going by the way he was acting, I looked in the trash.  Among the floppy disks (porn), and copies of emails from other women, there was a piece of paper with a hand written diagram on how to wire tap a phone.  You see, to save his precious image, he alluded to a relationship between me and a former coworker of his.  The guy came over and sold the ex a custom pc back in '98.  Saw him in our home 3 times.  I'd email him, at the ex's request mind you, and eventually sent him jokes etc, along with my friends and relatives.  I didn't find out about the story, until I heard it a couple of years ago from the man in question.  Seems everyone at Northrop Grumman is still talking about how this guy "broke up the ex's happy home".  The ex also altered an ICQ communication between me and a friend of mine to "prove" it.  Talk about projection?  This guy had been cheating on me since 1982.

Antonin, talk with someone about the passport.  Make sure that your ex cannot get a duplicate.  Lock up everything.  I don't think your child could bug your phone or anything, but do watch your back.