new member just starting divorce and custody battle

[jarheaddad]

Hi everyone,
I've read some of the boards but this is my first post.  I'm a BF of 3 year old boy, and 2 year old girl in the state of MD.  Here is the delema.  Caught BM cheating with co-worker, she wasn't happy.  To get back filed a false protective order alleging domestic violence and child abuse.  In court both entered into a no finding if I agreed to leave the home for 4 mos.  and only have visitation with our kids.  Since then I've been denied access to their medical records, appts., no say in daycare, or any other issue for that matter.  Have been accused of sexual abuse and a 2nd child abuse case.  All times CPS found no evidence to continue an investigation (Because it's BS!).  BM wants sole custody and won't budge on trying joint custody let alone sole custody for me.  I'm used to being the mr. mom so this is extremely difficult for me going from all to nothing basicly.  Any help or guidance or anyone going through something similar and how their dealing with it would greatly help.  Good luck to everyone out there, hope everything ends up okay especially for all the kids out there.

Thank you.  

[MYSONSDAD]

Welcome to Sparc. You have just entered a remarkable group of people willing to help one another.

First off, you are not alone. Many here have gone thru what you are. And know your pain well.

DV is the most common tactics used to get control. Totally stinks to high heaven.

There is a ton of information here. Just go to the search engine and type in what you are lloking for. Also read up on your state statues. Knowledge is key. Know what you will be up against.

Here is a site that is most helpful on abuse. It will provdie you with a world of information on what to do if you are acused.

http://www.abuse-excuse.com/

The medical records can be researched for your state and how to get access thru these sites.


1. Access To School and Medical Records - State Statutes - LOUISIANA Through NORTH DAKOTA
This page contains information on accessing your child's school and medical records, including a list of State Statutes related to accessing school and medical records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access2.htm - size 80kb - 20 Oct 2003

2. access3.htm
Access To School and Medical Records State Statutes - OH Through WY and DC Access To School and Medical Records State Statutes - OH Through WY and DC Return To State Index Page Return To Articles...
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access3.htm - size 57kb - 21 Oct 2003

3. Access To School and Medical Records - State Statutes - ALABAMA Through KENTUCKY
This page contains information on accessing your child's school and medical records, including a list of State Statutes related to accessing school and medical records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access1.htm - size 29kb - 20 Oct 2003

4. Obtaining Your Child's Medical Records
This page contains information on obtaining your childs medical records, which you are entitled to as a parent. Techniques and ideas are provided, along with a time-tested letter that can be modified to suit your particular needs.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/medrecords.htm - size 9kb - 20 Oct 2003

5. Authorization For Release Of Medical Records
Use this Medical Records Release form to allow another party (typically your ex-spouse) to authorize the release of his or her medical records to you. This form may also be modified to include specific records if necessary.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/medrelease.htm - size 3kb - 20 Oct 2003

6. Access To School and Medical Records- State Statutes & General Information
This page contains information on accessing your child's school and medical records, including a list of State Statutes related to accessing school and medical records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/access.htm - size 12kb - 20 Oct 2003

7. Do These Letters Really Work?
Do Our Letters Really Work? You bet they do! Quoted below are a just a few of the comments received about the School Records and Medical Records form letters. As you can see, these letters get results.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/results.htm - size 21kb - 09 Nov 2003

8. Getting Access To Your Child's Report Cards And School Records
Having trouble geting access to your child's report cards or other school records? This proven form letter can get you the school records and information you want.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/reportcards.htm - size 13kb - 20 Oct 2003
 
9. ''Request for Records'' Letter (Version 2)
An alternative letter requesting access to your child's medical or educational records. This letter has a softer, less aggressive tone than the standard letter we offer.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest2.htm - size 5kb - 20 Oct 2003

10. ''Request for Records'' Letter (Version 1)
This is our standard letter requesting access to your child's medical or educational records. This letter has a formal, no-nonsense tone, and should be used if you expect the school or doctor to be non-compliant or uncooperative with your legal request for records.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest1.htm - size 8kb - 20 Oct 2003

11. ''Request for Records'' Letter (Version 3)
This is an alternative letter requesting access to your child's medical or educational records. This letter has a somewhat softer, but still formal tone than the standard letter we offer.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/recrequest3.htm - size 5kb - 20 Oct 2003

12. Custody FAQ - 12. How can I get my child's medical records?
 
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/faq/cust_ans12.htm - size 2kb - 08 Aug 2002

13. ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN DIVORCE CASES: RESPONDING TO CRIMINAL CHARGES
If you've been accused of molestation or sexual abuse, this is a 'must read' article. Make sure your attorney reads it as well. There is a wealth of information in this document that can help your attorney defend you- unless he is already an expert at this kind of litigation he'll want to read this carefully. (Part 2 of 3)
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/bridges2.htm - size 119kb - 20 Oct 2003

14. ALLEGATIONS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN DIVORCE CASES: RESPONDING TO CRIMINAL CHARGES
If you've been accused of molestation or sexual abuse, this is a 'must read' article. Make sure your attorney reads it as well. There is a wealth of information in this document that can help your attorney defend you- unless he is already an expert at this kind of litigation he'll want to read this carefully. (Part 1 of 3)
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/bridges1.htm - size 104kb - 20 Oct 2003

15. Tips On Keeping Documentation
Here are some tips that a user of the SPARC site was kind enough to share with us. These are some great ideas and advice, the kind that only come through experience.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips1.htm - size 13kb - 20 Oct 2003

16. Filing A ''Subpoena Ducus Tecum''
A Subpoena Ducus Tecum is a formal request for the production of documents such as bank statements or employment records. A Subpoena Ducus Tecum can also be used to force the production of objects as well as paperwork.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/ducustecum.htm - size 5kb - 20 Oct 2003

17. Power Of Attorney Forms
Use these forms to give Limited or General Power Of Attorney to your spouse, significant other, or anyone you want to be able to act in your behalf. Power Of Attorney is commonly used to allow a spouse to request medical and/or school records for a stepchild.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/poaform.htm - size 15kb - 03 May 2004

18. TGB's Links Pages
This page contains a collection of links and resources for fathers and noncustodial parents, including state-by-state links.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tgblinks.htm - size 10kb - 24 Oct 2003

Good luck, after you read thru this, do a search for tips on getting started. Filled with very good information to get you going.

Are you in a no fault state? If no, her adultery could be used agianst her.





"Children learn what they live"

[wendl]

Welcome to the wonderfull world of bs.

I knew someone would post the links for you.

Remember to document document and never go alone to try and see child or she can make more false accusations.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

I would suggest that you locate a qualified polygraph examiner and answer to each of the specific allegations she's made with regard to violence and sexual abuse.

I also strongly urge you to purchase the book "Win Your Child Custody War" by Hardwick, which is the best resource out there for help people like you understand effective strategies.

Echoing the others, SPARC is a great place for you to be, as many seasoned litigants of child custody matters offer excellent tips.

[smtotwo]

My DH and I have found alot of wonderful info and friends here.

The help we received was INVALUABLE as we began our fight 4 yrs ago.

Congratulations on this wonderful find and Keep coming back.

stepmom to two

[grandmasue]

I have never posted but I feel I must at this time.  Your case is very
similar to my sons. About 3 years ago his wife decided she wanted to be "free".  She had many affairs etc.  She started to go out to "party'
and was not taking care of the children. 1yr old girl and 4 year old boy.  She expected to take everything from my son.  Fortuantely my son retained a good atty.  He has sole custody of his 2 children. He has the house etc.  She got nothing!!! She is also ordered to pay child support(even though she does not pay and the court system does nothing).

Please document everything, no matter how trivial.  Find a good lawyer.
and retain an atty for the children.

PS He also lives in MD

[MYSONSDAD]

Similar to mine too. Glad to hear someone came out of this okay...