Do you see any downside to joint meeting with child's psychologist?

[DecentDad]

> Can you count on the therapist being a willing
>intervenor if your ex discloses? Will the therapist state in
>writing that, if one party discloses anything to the court
>that this makes the records all open?

I dunno on both counts.  But she's helped protect my relationship wtih my daughter (i.e., by advising minor's counsel that biomom's concerns aren't founded).

The court has ordered that minor's counsel does not need parents' consent to confer with the psychologist.  The court did not want to "tie the hands of minor's counsel" when he makes recommendations to the court.

Minor's counsel is the one who picked this psychologist, and I'm aware that she has done therapy with a number of his clients.

I wonder if she'd work through the GAL, since she can talk openly with him.

Psychologist told me that she is opposed to recording the sessions.  She told me that she once testified that a parent had secretly recorded the sessions against an agreement not to.

I haven't yet seen what her "mediation agreement" looks like, as she called it.

She works in the office of a locally well-known 730 evaluator, so she's not green to child custody stuff.

She's been straight-forward and helpful since June, so I guess I just gotta bank on that.

New question...

1.  If the parents get her notes for their respective reference, and if biomom alleges new things, and if I send biomom emails (the only acceptable communications, per orders) that quote directly from the notes of the psychologist to help dispell the allegations... would it be a breach if I use those EMAILS as future exhibits to show that I tried to resolve things with biomom by reminding her of what we discussed with the psychologist?  :)

I know the whole admissibility-of-emails thing, but we also had orders long ago that we're to print our emails to demonstrate any paper-trail of issues to the court, if need be.

Thanks alot.

DD

[socrateaser]

>New question...
>
>1.  If the parents get her notes for their respective
>reference, and if biomom alleges new things, and if I send
>biomom emails (the only acceptable communications, per orders)
>that quote directly from the notes of the psychologist to help
>dispell the allegations... would it be a breach if I use those
>EMAILS as future exhibits to show that I tried to resolve
>things with biomom by reminding her of what we discussed with
>the psychologist?

Well, it seems like you would be showing a certain deceitful conduct in doing indirectly what you could not fairly achieve directly. But, as to it being a breach, the issue is, a breach of what? I'll bet that the mediation agreement has no teeth when it comes to positive enforcement against a party who discloses. It probably permits injunctive relief, but so what? In a custody matter, there's only one trier of facts, and once the judge has an inadmissible fact in his/her head, his/her ruling of inadmissibility will not "unring" the bell.

So, if you are going to make things confidential, then the therapist should release NOTHING to anyone. Personally, I think the idea of allowing minor's counsel to review the info, but neither party, or the court, turns the minor's counsel into the real, because he/she is the only person who is able to review all the facts.

I think you're setting yourself up for a fall. But, I understand that you want to be cooperative.

[DecentDad]

>I think you're setting yourself up for a fall. But, I
>understand that you want to be cooperative.

I'm not sure what the fall would be, unless the psychologist has been stringing me all along for 8 months, telling me that there seem to be significant issues between mother and child while child seems to be doing great in my home.

Recall in June 2006, psychologist told minor's counsel that child's time in my home should be restored immediately (after biomom's report of suicide threat).  Minor's counsel stated same to judge, and judge even slightly increased my timeshare beyond where it was before that mess started.

Biomom's attorney (at that time) vehemently fought my request to keep this psychologist on for child.  Judge ordered the therapy to continue with this person until further order of the court.

Anyway, mother has no problem saying whatever she wants about me, including what others tell her (e.g., she can simply claim that psychologist told her things in a private session).  So, I'm not certain of the added harm here (i.e., WHY would psychologist tell me something in front of mother, that she didn't tell me while alone with me?).

But all that aside, let's say the agreement is a non-disclosure (with no stated consequences of breach), including provision of notes supplied by psychologist.

If mother breaches agreement by putting forth hearsay recollection of conversation that never occurred in that session, does the agreement essentially become null, opening up my ability to impeach mother's false claim via the therapist's notes?

[socrateaser]

>Anyway, mother has no problem saying whatever she wants about
>me, including what others tell her (e.g., she can simply claim
>that psychologist told her things in a private session).  So,
>I'm not certain of the added harm here (i.e., WHY would
>psychologist tell me something in front of mother, that she
>didn't tell me while alone with me?).

It's not the psychologist whom I worry about. You will be giving out all sorts of new facts which the other parent may be able to use to her advantage. I don't know how, but give a person enough words and they can assemble Shakespeare's plays.

>But all that aside, let's say the agreement is a
>non-disclosure (with no stated consequences of breach),
>including provision of notes supplied by psychologist.
>
>If mother breaches agreement by putting forth hearsay
>recollection of conversation that never occurred in that
>session, does the agreement essentially become null, opening
>up my ability to impeach mother's false claim via the
>therapist's notes?

Depends on what it says. If all it says is that the therapist is protected from having to disclose, then she can just smile and say, "I'm not involved. Sorry.

[DecentDad]

>It's not the psychologist whom I worry about. You will be
>giving out all sorts of new facts which the other parent may
>be able to use to her advantage.

Aaaah, now I understand your concern.

But, no, I won't be disclosing anything new.

She already knows all sorts of "facts" about my home (more than she really needs to know).  I've made my life pretty transparent while on the very straight-narrow path for six years to anyone involved in the case who wants the info.  This is to counter the stream of distortions/delusions from the other side about my home.

My honest response to nearly all her allegations is, "I have no idea what you're talking about.  Nothing like that has ever happened."

I think my concern was about the "unknown" as to what the psychologist would say to both of us when she finally has us together in a room and the implications of it all.

And, to date, the psychologist has kept her specific feedback private to each parent, regarding any specific things going on in each home.  So, I imagine she'll continue doing that (i.e., not corner either of us, in the other's presence).  She's done a good job not adding fuel to the fire.

Thanks for talking it through.

DD