A Lot of good joint legal custody does

[CustodyIQ]

Thanks for the apology.  His style is definitely not mine, and his perspectives on approach are definitely far from mine.

True, that's the harshest post I've ever made to Chris, but it's not for lack of empathy for his struggle.  Under a previous monikor, I've provided him plenty of support.

With every passing month, his chances of securing a new parenting schedule goes down... and if he was once as close to his daughter as he describes, it is a tragedy for both of them.

He has a huge struggle now.  He would have a different struggle in Colorado (i.e., perhaps including financial), but at least it would take him on to the next step to keep this father and daughter connected.

Tough love.  Kick in the butt.  Whatever.  We're all here to help, just different styles sometimes.

[kitten]

>Not sure why you're so disagreeable to my posts to Chris.
>
>My point is...
>
>If he's not in Colorado, he DEFINITELY WON'T be anymore
>involved with his daughter than he currently is.
>
>If he moves to Colorado, based upon the history he's outlined
>and presuming it's true (i.e., a decade of closeness with his
>daughter), he CAN petition the court of jurisdiction for a new
>parenting plan given his local proximity, and he MAY get a
>parenting plan that provides for greater contact between dad
>and daughter.

I recall stating the same thing, but in less wording, therefore I am not disagreeing.

>Mediation won't work, in that it requires two reasonable
>parties able to cooperate and compromise.  The mother has
>shown she has no interest in fostering a relationship with the
>father, and has taken efforts to thwart that contact.

I refer to"Mediation" because that is how we do it here in CA regardless of agreeable parties or not.  The "Mediator" determines the cooperation between the parties based on information each provides during the meeting and the new parenting plan is recommended to the court by the Mediator.

>The ONLY WAY Chris MAY have a chance to improve his situation
>is to move to Colorado.

Once again I agree.

>>Regardless of what's fair or what's just, that's the reality
>of his situation.

Yeah, reality bites!

I too have felt like you about some of his posts, but only Chris can do what Chris needs to do and he will.

[c_alexander]

I see where IQ is coming from, and I agree with what everyone is saying. Really I posted here to vent the frustration. It bothers me something terrile that the state I will be stuck moving to does not have a minimum age you can leave a child at home alone. While in Florida a 9 year old girl has gone missing, and thousand of kids are taken from their home everyday. My ex wife just up and leaves our daughter at home all alone. It is not as though her and I have not talked about this. She actually promised me it would not happen ever again and respected my concerns, then goes and does what she wants. What kind of parenting is that? If I don't pay CS look out I am facing felony charges, she does whatever she wants with our child regardless of the danger or consequences...hey thats no problem.

AS for support, everyone here has been VERY supportive in my efforts to get to Colorado and I want you all to know that although I have had to rework and adjust my plans a few times, I WILL be moving there no later then July 26th. I have worked it out so that I will have no choice, I have to move at this time. There is a big part of me that is scared of finding a job, not having any money, gettting screwed again by the courts and my ex wife, but I MUST do this.

Kitten is right though. I could live right next door and my ex would still do whatever she wants. Most of the time she does these things to spite me. She is angry that I am still in Jessie's life. I think she had hoped I would have given up by now, but it ain't gonna happen.

[Fair_Rulings]

Make a change in the California Family Law System
[email protected]

[kitten]

>I think she had hoped I would have given up by
>now, but it ain't gonna happen.

NEVER.

[kitten]

More info?

[backwardsbike]

I know just how you feel. I am a NCP mom.  I don't think it appropriate that my DD( 12) spends an hour per day in the school bus depot waiting for her SM to finish her route instead of aftershcool program that I pay child support for. But it is not myu decision...unless something untoward happens.  Then you have a leg to stand on.  You just have to pray its nothing big.

I'm sorry buddy.  If you DD doesn't like being home alone tell her to call 011 and tell them she's scared and there's no adult with her.  The police will make a report and you can take it to court.  Then you might have a leg to stand on.

I second the other guy's advice about stepping up the move to Colorado.  It would be much easier if you were just down the street.  Then she could spend the hour with you.