Age child can decide which parent to live with

[wheels]

I have two children.  A daughter 16 years who decided to go live with dad about a 1 1/2 years ago.  A son 13 years who went to visit dad for Christmas and decided to stay.  I don't want my son to live with his dad.  For the first 6 months out daughter lived with him her grades went from A's to F's, was skipping school and not doing homework.  She got in trouble with the law for minor under the influence, assult and battery, curfew violation and 6 months probation.  After calling her and her dad over and over she finally got her grades up.  Now he has let her drop out of regular high school and attend alternative school which was meant for kids who end up on drugs, have learning problems, got pregnant and other problems.  She is capable of doing well in regular high school.

;(  Since Christmas my son's grades have gone from A's and B's to C's to F's, he is missing assignments in all but one class.  He has learning problems that I don't feel his dad is willing to accept and help him with.
I told his dad I wanted Tim returned to me.  He just said no, "he wants to live here."

I live in Arizona and his dad is in Wyoming.  Does anyone know what age a child can decide which parent they want to live with? and  also if education is enough for me to get my son back to me even if he prefers to live with dad?
Thank you:-)

[NoNicky]

Only 1 state has an age of consent in which a child may choose.  I think it's GA, though I'm not sure.  So the short answer is unless the custody was changed when the children went to stay with him ask to have the current order enforced.  Be ready for a fight because they've been there a while.  But the grades will be a factor.  The grades are most likely symptoms of other things happening.  Talk to your attorney about what steps you need to take.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[Indigo Mom]

Your kids want to live with their father for a reason.  What that reason is, I don't know.  I'm not asking what it is, either.

I understand you want your children back.  You're talking about their failing grades.  Look at it this way...if you force them back...do you "really" think they'll snap out of this and start getting A's and B's again?  Or is it more "realistic" to assume they're going to rebel against you and do worse?  

You said you repeatedly called your daughter and her father, and after talking to them for a while, her grades improved.  Maybe you should do this with your son, too?  Your influence is obviously great in their lives.  Try this for a while.

-----Now he has let her drop out of regular high school and attend alternative school which was meant for kids who end up on drugs, have learning problems, got pregnant and other problems. -----

I agree, but your daughter IS one of these children now because you said she was skipping school, not doing homework, getting in trouble with the law, assault and battery, underage drinking, and curfew violation.  While it may not be "cool" to have your child attend an "alternative" school, this might be her only chance at a good education.  Don't look at it as a school for "bad kids", look at it like a 2nd chance.  There are MANY "alternative" schools I'd kill to have my kids attend...I just can't afford them. (Waldorf, Montessori, Sylvan) The curriculum is so much "better" (in my opinion) than the fast pace, keep up with other kids regardless of whether you're "getting it or not" kind of crap we have in public school.

Oh, and for your question of what age a child can decide?  No clue...sorry!  

[Brent]

This may answer some questions:

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/choose.htm

[wheels]

Thank you all for your input.  After speaking with a lawyer and my children I have decided to leave them with their Dad and get Joint Custody should they ever want to live with me again.