Should I send copies of all my letters to the court?

[NYParent]

I didn't file contempt.  I actually filed for modification (there were changes of circumstances since the first CO that allowed for it).  Now I know what I am up against and the type of problems I am dealing with so I am going to make sure the the new CO is very detailed and specific.  Her response it always "its not on the CO, then I don't need to comply."  But while reading through post here, I see that it's a very common stance amongst CP.   

[MixedBag]

One thing I'd like to recommend or say....

Every piece of letter I send her is certified with return receipt.  It get's expensive, but I'd rather spend that money and have proof that it was sent.

Though I don't know the situation in detail -- it has been said that requiring the other parent to sign for every single piece of mail can also be considered a form of harassment.

On the flip side, as a fellow-NCP (again), I understand the desire to prove that the other parent received something you sent them.

Therefore, I recommend using "priority confirmed delivery" -- and then go print off the delivery confirmation on the internet.  You can actually print off the postage from any computer and affix it to any envelope -- don't HAVE to use their red-white-and blue envelopes, though those are free.

Then sit back and watch the next game played -- "That's NOT what was IN the envelope"

As long as you stay focused on what's important, time after time, I think you will make progress.

[NYParent]

MB- everything is sent certified mail because otherwise she'll claim it was not received.  I send originals certified mail and copies first class mail.  I will look into priority confirmed delivery (I didn't know about the option).  I just need a way to track that things are being delivered otherwise she plays the "it was never sent" game.

[MomofTwo]

NY Parent -
I was in the same boat as you so I was sending everything certified with receipt confirmation....after awhile he just stopped signing for it.  I was still sending a copy through regular mail as well.  After awhile he stopped signing for anything I sent...so when we went to court, having the confirmations AND having the actual letters in hand he never signed for (they get sent back to you), the judge saw my attempts at being willing to negotiate.   However, if you do send alot of letters to Mom, you need to watch that as that definitely can be construed as harrassment.

Regarding making this a part of your court file, I agree with everyone else...where I am it's a big no no.  Having the proof you have should be sufficient.

Also regarding "reasonable" access via telephone or videoconferencing.... I know you don't want to hear this, but your definition of reasonable and hers are clearly not the same.  Courts rarely will hold a person in contempt for an order where it states "reasonable" access.  If she was denying you access on times that were clearly spelled out on your CO, then the chances of contempt are higher.... a vague order like "reasonable" rarely results in contempt.  She is techinically right...if it's not on the CO, she doesn't have to do it.   So you are right to file for a modification spelling out specific days/times for you to speak with the child via telephone or conferencing. 

[Davy]

Uhmmm.... I can't imagine this whole harrassment thingie and concern.   NYparent stated that he had a lot of letters most dealing with [HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]her blocking access to my child[/HIGHLIGHT]".  She also pushed him into frivilous and expensive jurisdictional litigation.  All matters and problems caused by her. 

The  O N L Y  concern should be that his child has, in essence, been kidnapped from NY to TX.

[ocean]

I agree with Davy...most courts want the evidence that you sent recepits and communication. We use it all the time. What are they going to say "he keeps harassing me with not following the court order or asking me for money for the kids"...
If you keep the letters to the facts, no emotion, restate the page and court order not be followed, you will be fine.

We also use registered mail...no signature. We were told that was good. The other party would need to prove that the post office didnt do their job and deliver their mail. (If they are refusing to sign for letters).

[chickenbubbasmom]

We have just started sending certified letter/return receipt to BM in regards to her actions of contempt. BM refuses to communicate with dad except through text messaging, and it's a lot easier to submit letters rather than text messages. I think it best to file anything that pertains to a current issue you are returning to court on.