MySpace 9 as 19

[Davy]

MomFORtwo ... thanks for your straight forward and earnest post.  I can tell you are firm in your writing and that is good.  If your children have to sleep every school night with the lights on ... there's really nothing an absent parent can do to defeat those rules because the children are not considered at risk ... until.... hold on

I think and I hope that if you had a 9 yr old daughter posing as a 19 yr old and discovered she was being lured by a 39 yr old man or woman at her dad's house then your standards, values and rules would come into focus big time.  Dad's rules or excuses would not matter at that point.  If the little girl was an adamant internet/myspace user and even the slightest gut feeling of her potential risk existed (without exageration) I would expect your rules to come into play big time at dad's house and if they didn't the little girl should not be there and exposed to the risks.   

I've had a particular interest in this subject matter and attended numerous seminars (ie stranger abductions, etc) and been in several parent groups over a long period of time.  The MOST EFFECTIVE professional advice and parental advice was "talk to your children" just like you have done.  Certainly if they could be vulnerable to a stranger on the internet (or in the grocery store) then a parent would have the presence to convince them of the dangers and risks they might encounter else where.

About my grandson, at the time he was always getting yelled at and bitched at in his environment and his mother forced the issue with her mother and sent him to Grampa and to be with his uncle.  They were both humble star athletes and I'm a long time youth coach and along with his mother's urging we had a leg up and naturaly overcame the bad mouth.
The authorities finally came to their senses (he got in trouble like all the rest) so now he's back with his mom ... she can handle anything.  I expect to be a great grandpa within the year unless granddaughter gets back to her mom.  She's not considered at risk because she's with grandma (and money) and no one else has access to her.

... until ... one of the kids flicks on the light when the grown-ups want to sleep and all hell breaks loose...kids jailed (not juvie) again for their own protection, adults terminated as parents  and kids had been returned to Dad that had no problems enforcing the rules ... no guns or drugs in your room, return all stolen property, no more stealing the car, etc... and I talked to them ... two became star college athletes  and pastors and one became an RN (all caring professions) ... all I did was talk to them EVERYTHING ELSE THEY DID ON THEIR OWN.

Believe me ... no ego... just love, structure, enforcing rules and working together with people from all walks of life in churches, schools, law enforcement, judiciary,  but I didn't put up with much smart mouth from too many judges...hope this is helpful.

Thanks for your relevancy.  God Bless.   

[Davy]

Thanks Ocean.  You brought a very important issue.  None of this is about Parent's Rights.  It is about guidance and Children's rights .... a child MUST BE SAFE in their own skin.

It is shivering to learn of another missing child.  What the hell are we doing.

And ... I'm not saying to not attempt to shut down MySpace ... just so the child learns that the need to be alert and cautious (but not scared) in all their surroundings...in church ... in school and at home...running around the neighborhood.

At a large TX multi-state Labor Day Youth Soccer tournament in 1992,  a very bright 10 yr old little girl went missing while playing with other kids in the sand (next to a parking lot) directly behind the small bleachers where her parents sat watching her brothers' game.  Her mother saw her moments before she was missing..  There were 1,000's of players, parents, coaches, etc present at the time.  Investigation revealed 17 pedofiles just among the coaches and referrees....who would have thought.

[Amgine4033]

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago:
My son's step mother had the nerve to go on her FACEBOOK page and post her identity AS MY SON'S MOTHER.
I made complete documentation of this, and took it to my attorney.
How would she like it, if I did the same in regard to her biological children?
My ex (we were never married), along with her (my step-son's mother) were also posting photographs of my son online.

My son contacted her in email and said he was angry at her. Why would she do such a thing? (Claim she was his mother)...She had the nerve to respond back to him by saying there were no other "options" to select from.

...People will eventually hang themselves with their own string...they need no assistance from others.

It is now written in our current court decree that neither parent (or step parent) be allowed to post photographs of my son, or make reference to their identity to him online.

I hope this helps.

[Mom1Step2]

Amgine,
I dont think your situation really pertains to the one originally posted.
My step daughters also listed me as their "Mom" along with their BM back when Facebook didnt have all the options for extended family. They sent me the request, I accepted it. The girls had two Moms and two Dads listed. BM had a fit, but husband & I stood our ground. I am now listed as Step Mom because that option is now avaliable.
By the way, an update to the original post: We got BM to change the childs age to a more suitable one some time after my post. Thanks everyone.