Never Been Married - Parental Rights

[Belle]

First read custody for fathers, even if you do not seek custody or plan to go to court. It has some great info and helps if you do go. Look at several parenting plans find at least two that appeal to you and enter what you want; place something in there she is seeking. (Example ours has CP paying half travel expences and we agree to increase support at promotions. ) Then give it to her see what happens. It is terrible the trama some people inflict, My brothers were abanded by their father and I have a child who father elected not to be burdened. You are doing what you can keep it up! Your daughter will thankyou later.

[NoNicky]

Sorry I'm taking so long in getting back to you.  It's been an hectic time here lately and we had our own court session to attend, but that's another post.

As for the school thing that is another reason to get this into a court.  When there is no order you are technically under no obligation to pay for any portion of private schooling.  She could try to make you look bad with it but it probably wouldn't work well with a judge or magistrate.  

Since my own divorce several years ago my ex has chosen to keep our middle child in private school even though she and I both think public is the better option for her.  He chose to enroll the youngest in private school.  Now in court he is complaining and wanting money from me to for back payments for the extra it cost him to put them in private school.  

While it is true I did agree and voluntarily, while we were married put our oldest in the same private school it is that experience that made me decide it was not the wisest choice for our younger children.  Like you he had trouble adjusting to public school once the private school was no longer an option (no classes for the older students).  

I explained to the magistrate that I had made my change of opinion known to my ex and that he chose to put them in private school despite my objections and furthermore he was using the fact that I did not have uniforms for the children to wear to school as a reason to deny me visitation he had previously granted me.  While a final ruling has not been made in the case (there are many other issues), the magistrate has stated that it was his choice and I bear no obligation in the cost.  He admonished my ex for not taking my opinion even into consideration and told him that he would not receive any funds from me for private school for the past or future.  If it is strictly his choice then it is strictly his dime.  The only unfortunate thing is the visitation I used to have was not part of the original court order and I do not have it back but the magistrate has already let my ex know of his disapproval of taking away time I had for years.  It hasn't changed anything and won't until we can get the magistrate to a position where he can rule.  

Get an attorney and protect your rights now.  And be sure to document, document, document!  Best of luck to you.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[aughe]

I have checked out some books from the library - Unmarried Parent's Rights and other books referencing children and parental rights.  The only major problem that I am running to is most of the books are all pertaining to marriage and divorce.  I have found a few great tid bits of info in each book that I have read.

I hope that my daughter does realize that I am trying to visit her and that I really am trying to be a part of her life, but her mother doesn't seem to want me to be any part of our daughter's life.  It seems like court is becoming the increasingly best option.  

We are going to have a sit down chat and talk about things... I hope that something positive can come out of it all!

Thank you!

[NoNicky]

This is really important.  If you sit down to "chat" with her, DO NOT let her know you are considering a court action.  I have yet to see any good come out of letting the other person know you are considering a court action.  Usually what it does is forewarn and forearm the other person and you might find that they file something first as a preemptive strike.  You need to be the one that files first.


NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[Belle]

The book I suggested is mostly about how to handle yourself inside and outside of court written by an atty. It helps you because women can get sympathy out of judges and mediators by body lang. ect. (Also mediation info)
This is we have been dealing with for the past 10+ years (except they married as teens) It is a control issue. She probly knows how you feel about court. Most normal people feel that way. We are having difficult with visitation too and we have a court order.  There is always an excuse.  Maybe she would look at a parenting plan, offer it to her after you make it up. Don't go on verbal agreements, this way (pp) its sorta a contract in the best interest of the child. (Married or Not) Her parents might be influencing some of her actions.
Try to catch up on your cs if there is no order, you place it in an acct. for your daughter it shows good faith on your part.