Restricting telephone calls to my children

[Lumberjack98]

I'm finding that the visitation isn't spelled out well enough so I'm looking to getting it modified to clarify things.

[Lumberjack98]

Mine are aware of it, especially since I ask why no one answers the phone and they are told they're not allowed to answer it.  How did you get an email that documented her attempted calls??

[Fobbed-Fodder]

This is what I am shutting for.

1)   Telephonic Communication

a)   Each Parent should maintain at their place of residence a working landline telephone.

b)   Each Parent shall be allowed to exercise and initiate reasonable telephonic communication with the child.  For the purposes of this provision reasonable telephonic communication shall be one (1), call per day. With respect to all Holidays and Special Days, including the child's birthday and Parent's close relatives birthdays, the Parent exercising Parenting Time shall make known to the other Parent a time and telephone number where the child can be reached for telephone communication

c)   The child shall have the right to initiate and make telephonic communication with either Parent at any time during the accepted hours agreed upon by the Parties in paragraph (d.) below of this provision; the child shall have the right to determine how long a telephone conversation should last. Neither Parent shall interfere with the child's right to determine the length of a telephone call, unless an important call is pending or an emergency exists.

d)   Both Parties shall exercise common courtesy in initiating or allowing any person to initiate telephonic communication to the home of the other Parent between the hours of 11:00 PM and 6:00 AM, except in cases of emergency regarding the immediate health and welfare of the child and/or Parent specifically, unless both Parties agree that other hours within reason would be more favorable.

e)   Parents, Step-Parents, other adults or other children, relatives and/or friends of either Party, are prohibited from interfering with the rights to privacy of the child during such telephone conversations with the other Parent, this includes listening in on an extension phone, wire taps and recordings.

f)   When a Parent is exercising their reasonable telephonic communication, each Party may speak with the child, without delay unless the child is away from the home, sleeping, napping, eating or bathing, in which case the party receiving the telephone call shall see that the child returns the call at the earliest possible time thereafter. Both parties should initiate and assist their child in immediately returning phone messages from the other parent attempting telephone contact with the child.  If possible, the child shall be allowed to listen to recorded messages from the other Parent.

Just my opinion
Good Luck

[sweetnsad]

I live both sides of this coin...my DH has joint custody of his three children...he calls them every night before bed and I will say that MAYBE twice a week, he actually gets an answer.  He always leave a message but they never return his calls.  They never, ever call him unless their mother is looking for something...and the past 10 days, their mother's boyfriend was visiting from away and guess what?  My DH's kids called him every single night that he was there.  The minute he left though, the phone calls ceased.  Funny how she was trying to make such a good impression....:(

My ex, on the other hand, has just recently become a real nuisance with regards to phone calls.  He has been calling at 7:30am or 8 am in the mornings just before my daughter has to catch the bus or she's eating breakfast.  I have two babies too, so the mornings are very hectic.  I asked him politely to refrain from calling then and at suppertime for obvious reasons, but that he is free to call before bed every night.  So, to be a real a$$, he called again this morning at 7:40am, just to prove a point, after me telling him that it wasn't a good time to call.  Is that fair?  Or am I being difficult?  

[Lumberjack98]

I think you're totally fair and looking out for your daugher's best interest.  I wouldn't think to call mine that early unless it was a special occasion.  I suggest you don't answer the phone.  That's what I would do regardless of who it was so I could stay focused on what needed done.  I would prefer no one answer the phone if its hectic or no time to really talk.

[Bolivar OH]

Sweetnsad, does your X have 50/50 custody?  

I do not know your situation with your X.  Please understand I am not trying to side with your X.  Let me share a little of what I am going through.  I paid big money in my divorce to become an instant visitor in my sons' life (and continue to pay).  I am a NCP with every other weekend visits.  I terrible miss not being more apart of my son's daily life.  On Sunday night after my weekend I often find my self in a gloomy mood.  It's weird.  My son and I always have a great time.  I just feel empty without him there.

I personally will continually fight for 50/50 custody.  I will never give up to be a positive influence on my son's life.

[Dianaji]

Hi, my husband also is deeply grieved and depressed after he drops off his son after a visit, as well as leading up to the end of the visit.

Last fall, my husband proposed to his boss and got a 4-day work week with his company and free on Fridays now.  So he then fought for more time with son in court and got it !!...now he has a mid-week dinner visit with his son, plus every Thurs afternoon/Friday 7pm.  Creativity went a long way!!
He pleaded with the court to allow him to be an active Dad.
He was restricted to phone calls on Monday and Wed. nights.
Hope this helps to give you some hope!!
Diane

[Lumberjack98]

I can relate.  After 12 years of doing that I still get down on Sunday evenings.  And now I'm going to start a battle for joint custody along with more visitation and contact rights.  It is amazing and sad how a spouse can change when they find someone to be a new priority in their life and the kids get pushed aside.  And very frustrating!!

[Lumberjack98]

When my ex is trying to get back at me for something, not only are they not allowed to call they are not allowed to answer the phone.  My daughter likes talking on the phone (surprise surprise) but my son is like me and not too big on it.