Touchy Subject

[KAT]

Sorry girls, but I totally agree with Soc. You have GOT to protect YOUR children first!! Your priority IS YOUR DAUGHTER, NOT HIS SON. Forgive me for sounding rude, but is the reason you didn't report this to authorities is it because you don't want your ex to find out & file for custody? How many other children has he done this too? He goes to school, rapes another girl, during the investigation it comes to light that YOU KNEW he had problems but did nothing about it nor did you report it. If it were my daughter I would sue you in civil court. .

Mr. KAT's then teen daughter falsely accused him of sexual abuse in order to go live with her mother. Not enough so that Daddy would go to jail mind you, I mean, who would pay support if he was detained right? The real scary part is that I feel THE ONLY reason she didn't accuse my then 16 year old son was by the grace of god he was working that summer with my brother in another state. I can tell you right now, I love Mr. KAT to death. I would give my life for him but I WOULD not EVER allow his CHILDREN to hurt and or otherwise damage MY SONS. Coming home from the police station that wicked night he read my mind.  "I know what you are thinking & no, she will NEVER be in our home again." It would have hurt me to leave but in my mind my bags were already packed luckily he made that statement or I was GONE.  There wouldn't have been any discussion or agreements. I am a Mommy bear, I protect MY own.  That was 4.5 years ago. Yeah, she's a messed up adult now with an 8th grade education, drug problems is expecting. While this would be horrifying to us, it's a normal day in the life of biomom's family. This is the way they live their lives. These are the kind of people who I truly believe are born without souls or conscience. No amount of counseling is going to change the genetic makeup & the fact that they just DO NOT CARE.

Let's suppose Dad manages to get him onto counseling. Don't think for a minute that the tables won't be turned. People like this have to justify their actions. He excuse just might be that his DAD sexually abused him when he was younger or maybe you did it step mom? Kids never lie. Have fun trying to defend yourself against something that never happened. Are you prepared to go to jail leaving your other children motherless for this kid? NO. It's self preservation. I highly recommend that if your husband wants to take visitation he does it away from your marital home.

He has already threatened your daughter. You state that you aren't going to leave them alone for a minute every other weekend for the next 8 years? I say that's impossible. It takes 3 minutes to strangle someone to death...that's all it would take to end your daughter life.

Again, I'm not saying this to be rude, but more of like a wakeup call. If you want to talk to someone (with an obvious bias) about this I'm just a few miles from ya & the coffee is hot....I think there is something in the VA water system....

Regards;

KAT

[Kitty C.]

I certainly don't condone NOT getting the girl counseling.  In fact, in my mind, it's MANDATORY.  Which is why I got my own son counseling when I found out.  I had no idea he'd been 'exposed' until he started acting out.

But I also think it's crazy to let the boy go without even trying to get him some help.  He WILL reoffend if he's not treated.  Yes, there's a possibility that this could come back and slap them in the face, BM's can be vindictive that way.  But he is a child, too.  I just got this feeling from Soc's post that the daughter was to be protected over anything else.  (Soc, I apologize if I got the wrong impression from your post.)  Keep them separated?  I agree, fat chance.  THAT'S why they should try to seek treatment for the boy as well.  If it proves impossible, then so be it.  If they can get it CO'd but the BM still fails to do it, then at least they know they did everything they could.

[dipper]

kat,  I would love to talk to you off forum.

I have thought about what you are saying - being responsible for him hurting someone else.  Which is why I was trying to force the issue of counselling.  Believe me, I am not just letting this go. It has been two weeks and I have made my decision as far as there has to be counselling - his mom said she would call my hubby the night after he talked with her - and hasnt yet.  She simply asked the kid what happened and let it go.  No way - I was fussed at that she should have been part of the decision process, etc.....and there was no decision to make other than mine since this is my child that was molested.  It was up to me whether or not to call cops - and my decision was based on all involved being family and the fact that my daughter would have to tell someone else - probably more than one person and that is something she is very embarrassed about.  But, I am not willing to let this go.  Something needs to be done.  My child deserves the comfort that not only was he wrong, he was punished or got help.  

By the way, I have only been married two months.  I have known ss before I knew his dad, and love the child. But, my girls do come first and I have to say - I am very nervous about the child coming back.  No, you cannot watch kids 24/7.  I dont want him to be in jail or hurt someone else - I love him too much and care about others too much.  I am trying to find a way to protect my own and look out for him.

Juggling everyone's emotions.  People do look at you differently - the more people that know about my daughter will always think that when they look at her.  She was the one hurt and I dont want her further treated that way..............

Anyway, I dont know how to contact you outside of this forum...