I am new and I sure could use some advice

[ds4240]

What is a CO?  Court order?   I dont need one I just need the courage to make the right choices right now even if it going to hurt me.  I feel sneaky and rotton even thinking about this.  I am scared at the thought of doing this.   But if it's best for him and I have support on my side saying I am doing the right thing under these circumstances then I might be able to do it.

Douglas

[c_alexander]

I guess I can understand some of these situations presented to me....they are special cases though and it jsut seems to me that a lot of people are knocking up their girlfriends and getting into all kinds of problems with rights and what not. I mean it is bad enough the limited rights I have to my daughter and I was married. Unmarried people face even worse problems. Also I must admit that I do worry often as to what kind of message it sends to kids. I am old fashioned and try to be a moral upstanding citizen....you are right in the sense that it does no pay anymore in our society to be moral. All you have to do to see that is tune into any reality TV show. Even though it does not pay to be that way, I don't think I could ever change. It is a part of who I am.

[Peanutsdad]

There are absolutely no advantages for men to marry. None. Nada.

And a damn lot of reasons NOT to marry. Community property states, alimony states....get the picture?


With over 50% of 1st marriages failing,,,it's a bad financial move for men to marry. Period.


There is a poster on my board right now that her brother in law has just been ordered to pay his soon to be ex 7k a month in cs and spousal support. The guy clears 8k a month. His wife left him for another man.

IF he never married the woman, he would be paying cs only. Now tell me where the incentive is to marry.

[EyeforKids]

My initial thought was to call the cops and get him into trouble so that a change is basically forced (like others have said).

My second thought is to work with the school since his grades are falling.  I wonder what the principal would say if you called (or wrote) and explained your concerns.  Many kids take drugs to school.  What would happen if his locker got searched on school property which brings in other "authority" figures since you don't think the cops will do anything?

If he's arrested, and he's a minor, won't the police only release the child to parents or guardians?

Or what about getting mom's help in basically physically getting your son to leave.  And what happens if you just don't return him on a plane.

Good luck, you definitely have many challenges ahead of you on different fronts.

[formykids]

this is probably gonna be an unpopular opinion ,but im a pretty unpopular guy so here goes,make sure you dont need a court order and take your boy,do whatever it takes to get him out of the drugs,itll be hard,hes had freedoms no 15 yr old should have,and probably more money too if hes selling,GET HIM OUT NOW,set up counseling and let him know youll do anything to help straighten him up,then follow through,if he turns 18 and  leaves thats his choice,but at least you tried,get a blood test on the other boy and take him too if hes yours,NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR KIDS