Non-custodial Mom wants insurance card

[MixedBag]

My advice stands.

IF you are trying to limit unneccessary medical treatment, then take action to do so via the court system.  Connecting that to NOT giving her the medical cards is like connecting apples to oranges.  Yep, they're both fruit, but still two different KINDS of fruit.

It doesn't matter if you are the CP or NCP -- BOTH Parents should exchange medical cards concerning insurance that's available to the child.  Are you saying that if she has coverage that she doesn't need to give you a card???  Think about it -- focus on the child.....

When you said:  "I have chosen the Dr. I want our daughter to see; BM doesn't agree with my choice. (When BM was CP, I had no choice but to agree. BM made all the decisions, no discussion.) "  That clearly sounds like retaliation to me instead of trying to be the bigger and better parent now that you are custodial.  Remember what she did "wrong" as the CP and try to do it RIGHT or BETTER for the sake of your child this time.

How can Mom "abuse" the system truthfully, unless the system "lets her abuse it?"  Yes, she has done some horrendous things in the past by creating tons of medical bills, but the doctor let her keep coming when there was an outstanding balance for "routine" stuff, right????  Her actions are what you need to address in court.....

You know if that was your answer to me -- that you'd reconsider IF I was going out of town with our daughter, my next time with her would be for a short vacation out of town.....just to push your buttons.....and you opened the door and let me push it.  

Just trying to help -- mainly to get you to see the consequences and results of your actions -- so that you can be a good father and parent to your daughter.

[Tennessee Dad]

Sorry, don't mean to upset you.  Just trying to take care of a little girl so, hopefully, she won't turn into a pill-popping hypochondriac like her Mom.  (Sorry, personal feelings come out!)  

Truthfully, I can't afford to take it back to the court system.  If I headed back to court every time BM refused to abide by the CO, we would be there constantly.  Just trying to control (maybe that IS wrong) the situation before it happens again.  

[MixedBag]

Upset?  Nope -- just trying to get you to see the "other side" in a setting where you don't have to deal with "HER"....which brings out your emotional side and that clouds your reactions to her actions.

You have primary custody so be the better parent.  

If you can't afford to go back to court every time, do two things:

Gather up a few "things" like maybe two or three where she is in clear violaton of the order -- or where the order needs to be clarified via details because right now "it simply doesn't go into details"

In the mean time, learn how to represent yourself pro se -- get the law books on your state's code AND the books on the rules of engagement in the family court.

Then after a while, take it back to court yourself -- if you don't have the money.  It's what I have had to do and yep, it's helping.

Slowly, but surely, it's helping.....

[MixedBag]

In November 2004, my son needed a nebulizer for a weekend with me.

Dad refused to provide it and said it's my responsiblity.

So I found myself at a medical home supply store who stayed open late for me picking one up.  I ended up buying a used machine because it was the same price as renting one.

When it came time to paying for it, they asked for my son's insurance card.  Well, when  I picked up the prescription 10 minutes earlier from the EX, I asked him for the card and he said "I don't have one" -- got it on tape.

I had my son's "third" insurance card with me and knew the "second" insurance's information (because it's step-dad's), and knew the EX's basic information (detailed info was at home in AL -- and I was in WV) but they wouldn't take it.  They insisted on having a copy of the card, period.  They wanted to "go home" which I could understand.  So I had to pay for it in full -- thank goodness for Visa -- and then start the request for reimbursement.

IF I had a copy of the card, there would have been NO out of pocket expenses immediately because THEY would have processed it through all three insurances before coming to me for the balance.

And, no I don't abuse the system -- like your EX does.

And here's the upside from your point of view.....when she does use the insurance at least you get TOLD about it because you should get the explanation of benefits afterwards.   Then you can do "damage" control which would be acceptable....

[Tennessee Dad]

Yeah, you're right.  And if I thought for one minute BM would use it appropriately, there would be no question, no issue at all.  But she is a "master" at trying to "create" evidence, and medical evidence (even created) is hard to dispute.  

Example, a couple of weeks ago, BM claims to have found a ladybug in daughter's ear.  She threw an absolute fit, because she couldn't take her to a clinic right then; she insisted the ear was infected.  We took her to her Dr., and all he found was earwax!  Nothing unusual there, but if BM had taken her the night before, it would have been a totally different story.  She would have been calling DCS claiming neglect!  Anything to create an issue, real or imagined.  

I'm just trying to protect myself, and daughter, when Mom is truly "out there".