We Lost

[KathyNY]

Congrats on adopting your Skids!

[dipper]

Kathy, I am so sorry to read this.  I have been in your shoes, but our situation was that bm moved ss two hours away (two hours driving time).  It took two years for the courts to finally listen to what dh said, so persistence is key.

Also, as for your fiance and what you can do.......I think he needs time to grieve the loss of his dream.......and, I have read the key person on one forum here say over and over that you have to live your lives...

Dont let this defeat the two of you...it hurts - hurt doesnt even say enough.  But, you can still be happy.....take it one day at a time.

[KathyNY]

How?  I'm not meaning to be negative and I'm not on the defensive or anything like that (just for clarification).

You say that we have to live our lives...but my fiance's life IS his kids!  Yes, he CAN live w/out them, but everything he does is for them.  He gets up in the morning and goes to a job he hates because it provides for them.  He keeps relationships w/ family members he probably wouldn't because extended family is important to him, for his kids.

How can we "live" when we can't even "feel" right now?  We're so numb with grief and pain nothing else seems to matter.  Living our lives included planning our wedding, talk of having a baby together.  None of that matters anymore.  Those kids always came first and there were times that I resented it, them, him, BM because of it.  But now I'd give anything in the world to have them back.  I put them first myself, without even realizing I'd started doing it, they became MY life, and now I don't have one w/out them either.  Our life together doesn't seem right- because it wasn't a life with two of us- there were four of us.