What to say to 5 year old?

[msme]

Five is not to young to teach about choices. Always tell your children that you will never lie to them, & don't. Also tell them that there some things in life that do not concern children & when they ask about such things, You will simply tell them that some things are only for grown-ups & that you will not discuss it with them. That is the truth.

When they ask difficult questions, don't be afraid to say something like, "I know you worry about that. What do you say we discuss it with xxxxx (counselor) next time we see him/her.

Recently, my 6 yo DGS told his therapist, "I know what the whole problem is. It's our mom. She just lies & lies & lies & lies & lies & lies & lies............" The therapist finally stopped him after about 10 times, while his dad, jestured to the therapist that he didn't know where that came from because, no one in our home ever disparages her & the little guy rarely says anything.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!

[futurestep-mom_AZ]

Well I heard from the center we are going to and they said 5 is too young but that she would give me some resources tomorrow night at the class. So hopefully we will find someone for her talk to. Your right we try to be up front with her but there are some things that she doen't need to know about and I guess its all coming to a head because this is the first time we have had a "Major Court Issue" since she's been old enough to voice her questions. We did lie to her and tell her mommy got a job the first time mom didn't show b/c there we were waiting at the halfway point for more than an hour in 100 degree heat and she was crying and asking where her mommy was.

[msme]

Don't lie to her. On the first no show, we waited nearly an hour in 100 degree heat, too. We then told them that apparently mom wasn't coming. We said that we did not know why but we were sure that mom would explain the next time they talked to her. We then went & did something fun to take their minds off it.

Next time we went back to court, we addressed time & the judge agreed it was cruel to put kids through a long fruitless wait. She said that we only had to wait 10 minutes. If she was not there, she forfeits.

We always arrive 5 minutes early & have told her that if she is early, she can have them as soon as we arrive. We make sure the kids check the clock when we arrive & we actually give her till 13 minutes after so they can't say we didn't want her to see them. We make sure they see the clock before we pull out. We go beyond the order.

Even though she only gets 3 hours a week, she has missed a lot of visits & has only been early 3 or 4 times, in nearly 3 years.

Put the blame where it belongs. Let her dig her own hole.

You never get a second chance to make a first impression!