Parenting Agreement.

[teakae]

Well, it has been 2 weeks since the post and I am writing to update everyone.

After the mother presented these rules, we were able to agree to some sort of visitation schedule.

Every weekend with father.
Father can take the kids 2pm to 7pm during weekdays if he wants
First week of summer with father.
Last week of summer with father.
Every other holiday alternating.

Then, mother decided to run this by her lawyer.
Surprise surprise!!! Lawyer told her to take out all the "rules" and said he will draft up the visitation and child support amounts.
Mother tells father "none of this is any good!" as if he was the one that came up with the crap. And "we have to include a clause that says, mother can cancel the weekend visits with father if she so desires". She also said that children can only go to one day camp in the summer and only if father pays for it. Like if they go to karate day camp for a week, they can't go to the marine park day camp... Ugh... what happened to "throwing all the stupid rules away". She just turned around and made more rules.

But anyway, father shows up at mother's lawyers office to read and sign the agreement drafted by the lawyer.

Suprise Suprise!

It says...
Primary residental parent with mother.
Every other holiday.
One mid week visit from 2pm to 7pm with mother's approval.
2 UNconsecutive weeks in summer to be specified by mother
Back child support of 7k
Attorney's fees of 5k.

There was ABSOLUTELY NO mention of any weekend visitation!

Ofcourse, father didn't sign and told mother that he can't sign it because there is no visitation in it for him. Mother said "OH why do you always have to argue with me! You know you are going to get visitation regardless of what it says on that peice of paper!!! Why do you have to make it SO DIFFICULT FOR ME ALL THE TIME!!!"

So off we went to trial. With out a lawyer.

In the end, we got less than what we already had.
Every other weekend
Every other holiday
2 unconsecutive weeks in summer (no weekends in summer)
No creidt towards 7K in back child support.
70% of 5K in her mediation and attorney's fees

Mother said "the kids need stablity"
Father said "Stability is not just same old same old, it is knowing what to expect and kids can thrive in two house holds"
Judge said "kids need stablity with their mother"

Mother was evicted from her duplex in Dec, moved in with her boy friend that she has known since Nov. Now she is breaking up with her boyfriend, and will be moving out by the end of Jan. But that didn't matter to the judge.

Mother brought a picture drawn by the boy that shows father's girlfriend getting stabbed through the heart with a knife. Judge didn't care that it was drawn 2 years ago, before the boy even met the girlfriend and the only reason he drew it was because mother coaxed him to do so.

Father asked that the court to order continueing co parenting counseling and therapy for both parents and kids at his expence. Judge said that that shouldn't be necessary.

Father tried to read out relevant dates and parts from the extensive log he wrote over the past year and back it up with police reports and e-mails from mother. Judge said he wasn't interested in details and told him to move on.

When father tried to show him a table that lists all the pros and cons of each parent based on the Florida Statutes for child custody. Judge waved it away and said that didn't have any relevance in this case.

As it turns out, the reason the "every other weekend" wasn't in the document the lawyer drafted was due to a typo. Judge looked at the document and said, well, you don't have anything about weekends in here. The lawyer said "what!, Oh I must have forgotten..." Yeah, he didn't forget his own fees..

After trial, mother calls father and says "regardless of what that court paper says, you can ask to take the kids any time you know. Just call and ask me".
Yeah, that always worked, she can just show up with the police to pick them up at 11pm like she aways does when she feels like it.

Although we knew this was going to happen, it is a crushing blow. The kids will miss out in the end. But there is nothing we can do for now. Its devastating for us.