Custody Modification Help

[DeterminedForTheBest]

Yes. ;o)

[jojobear]

have you been in this situation b4?

[DeterminedForTheBest]

Myself, no, but what is going to happen is the GAL will speak to 3 different people, to verify that the children are well adjusted in their home.

Edited to add:

3 different people who probably see the children often, and can vouch for their adjustment, and how well they're doing in your home. I.E. teachers, counselors, etc.

[jojobear]

and what will be asked of the NRP (Non residitual parent) because she will not have the answers, not the sources to pull from?  

[DeterminedForTheBest]

She doesn't need to be asked anything, because as you've already stated she wouldn't know the answers.

These people are going to be people that know you, your children, and the living situations, etc.

[dipper]

I agree that there is nothing wrong in buying children things - unless the purpose is to bribe them.  In your case, it sounds like the mom has been buying things in order to encourage them to want to live with her.  It's not only unfair, it teaches greed, and manipulation.  

We have been facing this situation.  Dh's ex never has bought the sons much.  Oldest son lived with dh, while youngest lived with her.  We just got married last year - and she moved youngest two hours away about two weeks before our marriage.  Now, next week is the court date to decide final custody, as dh took her to court when she moved.  In the past two weeks, her buddies/employees have been buying ss many gifts and taking him out for fun in the evening while she works.  These are 20'ish people evidently with nothing else to do but play.  It has been influencing ss.  He got a new video game and a new watch for being sooo good in school - yes, he went three days without a report from a teacher - we have since gotten word that he just wasnt pushing buttons too much, but was misbehaving.  Still, three days after dh got after him for an email concerning him being close to suspension again - her friends buy him gifts for being good.

I have been very fortunate - I dont have these hassles with my ex.  There are things that irritate me to no end about him - and I am sure its how he feels about me.  But, If I see him, I can talk to him and the children dont have to wait for the explosion - I just will not put my girls through that..........

Your children may truly want a relationship with their mom.  My oldest step son has told us that he knows all the crap his mom does and he has still felt guilty at times.  I feel yss is going through this too.  

Make sure the gifts are stressed to the judge.  Children can be bought......