court gone horribly wrong - what's our next step

[roch]

BM, grandmother, and I just went to court.  The judge heard the testimony from the grandma (who has sole custody), the mother, and me.  We broke for lunch to prepare for cross examination.  When we returned the judge had a conjent judgement written up.  He said he had haerd from the principals in the case and he had made up his mind.  We could continue with the case but then he would decide everything or we could work out the details (regarding vacation, summers, and holiday rotation) ourselves but regardless he was giving domicle joint to the mother!  He said both the mother and father had made mistakes but the mother was "trying" so she should get her chance.  The way he made it sound was that he was in favor of 5/2 time split so we took the consent agreement.  Of course, the mother and I couldn't agree on the extra time during the week so we took it back in front of the judge asking for the 50/50 time and he said no - he didn't like to break up a child's routine.  We got nothing - no extra time during the school year and only joint with mom getting domicile.  I feel we were mislead into agreeing by the judge as well as I was willing to give up domicile for the extra time with my daughter..  The worst part is it is technically a consent agreement but we didn't really consent.  He had made up his mind before hearing all of the evidence.   Is there anything we can do?  We couldn't afford an appeal and as it is techinically a consent agreement don't know if that is an option.  Is this how the judicial system is supposed to work?  We had no choice.  

The mother is a convicted felon with proof of drug use in last year and a half (ex-boss testimony).  She ignored original court order of getting drug rehab and supervised visitation in order to get her child back.  Instead does as she pleases, lies with court documented proof that it is a lie, and the judge gives her domicile.  What happened?  Please help.  I just want more time with my daughter - any loser on the street could have gotten what I got.  I understand I messed up by not going for custody earlier - but BM didn't try for it either until I wanted it - then suddenly BM wanted it too.  What is our next step.    

Here is background if you need it to advise:

Quick background, I had a child at age 20 with a woman I had been dating but wasn't committed.  We had had an agreement about the use of birth control which she purposely didn't do without my knowledge.  Yes, I am alleging that she got pregnant on purpose.  The deceipt broke us up before my daughter was born.  I wasn't involved in the first few months of my daughter's life.  When she was 9 months old BM had custody taken away by her mother because of drug use.  With grandma having sole custody I started seeing the child every Sunday.  I was a stupid kid that made stupid choices and didn't take responsibility the way I should have.  As my daughter grew I become more involved and started spending more time with her.  The more time I got, the more I wanted as I learned how wonderful being a father is.  I know it took me longer than it should have and if I had made different choices I wouldn't be in this situation.

Flash forward four years: in the meantime the BM has gotten married, divorced, commited a felony, two years under house arrest, parole.  When my daughter was four she moved back in with grandma and I was told I had to deal with mom now.  Mom was ordered to undergo drug rehab in order to revisit the custody issue.  Mom was also ordered supervised visits only.  She didn't do either.  I was stupid and tried to make things work with mom for the next two years.  She allowed me every other weekend and one day per week but when I asked for holidays and 50/50 time she told me I was asking for too much.  Grandma said she wanted me to have a relationship with my daughter as long as it didn't interfere with hers.

Now with my daughter a six year old - I finally save enough, find a lawyer i like, and go to court.  We have witnesses to mom doing drugs in past two years, we have witnesses that she was fired from her last job for stealing and being loaded a year ago.  Both the BM and I had done drugs prior to our daughter's birth.  The difference is I stopped screwing up once she was born.  We had to both undergo a drug evalucation.  I was completely honest about my high school usage.  BM lied and said she hadn't done any drugs in eight years  - nevermind she had her daughter taken away six years ago for that very thing.  We go to trial feeling confident to get at least joing with the grandma with me being domicile or even sole.  50/50 time was being requested.   You've read the rest of the story above.   Please advise