will specific days regarding custody help me?

[ocean]

I would tell grandma that if that was ever court ordered that you will be supplying the info to IRS to get the tax break for child care so you hope she is filing what you pay her (plus ex's share). We filed once without a ID number and just wrote refused to give (but had receipts) and got the credit.
Im in NY too...we were told only a licensed provider if mom wanted AND she needed to prove we were not available....stopped BM dead in her tracks. She just wanted DH to pay. Her way of "getting back" at him...money.