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Wife went on vacation and didn't bring kids back.

Started by rocky, Aug 21, 2009, 03:43:12 AM

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Mom0f3

Oh and I forgot she went and filed an Ex Parte on my Husband after we showed up at her door for taking off with my SS and not giving us an address or letting us know where he was or if he was okay.  Guess what, the courts gave it to her and my Husband got every other weekend visits with his son while we went to court over custody.  She really stuck it to my husband by pulling that stunt.  So I would use caution just showing up without anything to back you up.  She could pull the same thing on you.

brwneyedmom

If you go and get your children, your wife could turn around and pick them up at school and take them back with her.  I'm sure that you don't want your children ping-ponging back and forth while the custody issues get resolved.  Without a clearcut custody placement, your children could be taken by either parent at any time.  That may make you crazy with worry when they are out of sight.  The best protection for stability for your children is to file to have custody, get it, pick them up, and enroll them at school in your town, in my opinion.  There's a history that would justify the court papers to refuse release of the children to the mother from schools or daycare, in my opinion.  Of course, I am not an attorney.  I don't like attorneys, and no longer pay for one to be involved in my life.  So my advice is just my own thoughts and opinions and should be taken for whatever value you place on them.
If you file in court for the childrens' immediate return, you can also file for their belongings to return with them.  This may be important to no one, even your children, but if they are attached to particular belongings, this way they can have them back.  This was a particular issue with my DS, who was not permitted by his father to have certain belongings until DS lived with his father.  The judge ruled differently.
If you file first, you may maintain a certain advantage in court.  Ask for the moon.  Settle for what you feel that you can live with.  And if you are offered mediation, try it.  I never thought that my ex and I could hammer out a mediated agreement.  I was happy to be proven wrong.  You can work with jerks.  You might be snatched baldheaded first from frustration, but it can happen.  Neither of us got all of what we wanted, but neither of us lost everything either.
Best of luck to you.

Davy

#12
Momfortwo

Nobody but you had said anything about the cops.  But I could write a book (and you can't).  Typically, law enforcement was my friend.

I retrieved my kids on numerous occassions.  No cops, no court orders, the other legal parent was present.  no big deal.  Just went there and announced I was taking the kids home.  Moreover, I never suggested in any way the OP work outside the system.

AND there were many many times when a legal parent had court orders and the cops would'nt act upon the orders. As a matter of fact neither would the courts.

The only legal statue I am aware of with a time frame is the 6 month requirement when the principles of the UCCJA are invoked,  What Momoftwo refers to in her general statements is the often built-in bias of the court system against fathers and children.  BTW, if there's even a chance the court will conduct itself using excuses to maintain the status quo then the children may be best served by a rule-of-law type attorney from outside the local yokal good ole boy system.

I hope to emphasize to the OP the need to let go of his emotional ties to the mother in order to even begin to protect the children. The OP asked about his attorney filing and others have already posted to file ex-parte for custody (hopefully with a pick-up order when the exact location of the children is known) with absolute certianity.  Of course, the court should be informed of the uncertainity (the kids could be 2500 miles from home now).


With the ex-parte order in hand the Criminal Interference statues ...documented by state in the articles section on this site can be invoked if the statue applies for his state (by the father perhaps without assistance of counsel). Law enforcement can and likely will act on these statues.   Of course, the difference being criminal statues vs civil statues (ie contempt issued under civil court statues).

Bottom line, the OP has been given excellent advice and once he files the mother becomes a child abductor and hopefully the at-risk children can be protected from their abductor.  Returning the children HOME should be the only focus at this point and other matters can be finalized in the future. 

It is very unfortunate the children and the father have to be put thru this but the mother is currently a burden on everybody and this is the best way for all to increase the likehood of a fruitful relationship with her in the future.

Right now she is ill

tjk

Like the op have said, in the absence of a co either parent can legally take the children wherever they want. 

I'm sure your wife is hoping you will buy into the idea that you make be able to work things out eventually.  If she can stahl you long enough, she will be able to file for divorce and custody in the state she is now residing in once she meets the residency requirements.  If you don't file now in your state you may find yourself having to travel back and forth to the court in her state, as well as having to hire an attorney from there.

Get the kids returned to you and start to establish the status quo of you being the primary parent.