visitation/fighting for joint custody?

[scareddad]

Hi,
  I am divorced and have a 4 yr old son. When we got divorced, I was working two jobs. I had the same days off each week. It worked out pretty good until I decided to switch to full time at my part time job. I work in retail so there is no such thing as a set schedule. At my old job my boss was very helpful and worked with me. My new job has a lot of opportunity and pays more. So I switched.
  I can't have a set schedule any more. My ex and I worked it out though and arranged for me to pick my son up on my days off. We live in a small town so he is only minutes away from me. After 2 months, my ex decided she didn't like my schedule any more so she stopped letting me have him on my days off. She said it wasn't consistant enough and it was too hard to keep up with. (My days off are on a 4 week rotation; Wed.Thur./Tue.Wed/Sat. Sun./Sun.Fri)
  It got to were I am now asking for my son. Some times I get him, some times I don't. Needless to say, I got tired of this treatment. So I hired a lawyer and filed contempt of court papers. We went to Mediation and I asked for joint custody. I came up with a schedule that works around my work pretty good, and is fair to every one involved. It was rejected. My lawyer immediately started to negotiate for visitation. We got hung up on an issue, her mother  is the "Day Care Provider" for my son. But niether one of them respect me as a father. So if I try to talk to them about something, they treat me like I'm interferring. So I don't want her mom to baby sit when I need a baby sitter. Any way, everything stopped there and we haven't talked more about it yet.
  She is in contempt of court now, yet she still is in charge. Joint custody seems to be out the window, the visitation schedule is a lot better than I got from the divorce. If I push on and take her to court and the judge doesn't help me, I could get a worse deal than what is on the table now. If I take the deal on the table and make the consessions, I'll feel like I'm quitting on myself and my son. I don't know what to do.

[MYSONSDAD]

What reason was given to not work with your parenting plan? I would think a parent would have more Rights to be with the child then the grandparent. Have you mentioned this to your attorney? Why Granny is watching the child over you?

Sounds like a whole lot of control on your ex's part. And her mommy there to help it along...

Don't settle for something if your not happy with it. Your son deserves you in his life. And do not quit on yourself, you can not gain it back.

I just made a career change and have the same issues going on. All I want is our son on my days off. He is not in school and the lazy B!tch does not work, so there should not be a problem.

All about control.


"Children learn what they live"

[justwantstobeadad]

if she is in contempt now, what will keep her from doing it again and again. I would follow through and dont give up. The courts will not look good on her for being in contempt that is like telling the judge "I dont are what you say I am doing what I want to do" she will also be told off by the judge and this will probably keep her from doing this over and over again. If she refuses your son when you go to pick him up get local police involved (as long as you have papers saying this is your day to have the child)they can at least help you document her refusal and her interference with the order. whatever you do dont give up she is making it diffucult on purpose so that you will just get upset and go away!
good luck with your fight!