paternity and custody

[illinoisdad]

i have been divorced for about 5 years now. my ex lives in wisconsin and I live in illinois. the divorce was in wisconsin. SHe has made seeing the kids pretty impossible. i live 200 miles away and i would like to look into trying to get custody of my one child who is 14. she desperately wants to live with my wife and I , but the ex has full custody. my first question is.. I never signed the birth certificate because she told me that she wasnt mine at first. she has changed her mind a hundred times since then. i pay child support for both children and have never contested this even though no dna test was done. if I go for custody and its found out that shes not mine (god forbid) do i have any rights??
we were not married until this child was 2 years old.
 

[socrateaser]

>i have been divorced for about 5 years now. my ex lives in
>wisconsin and I live in illinois. the divorce was in
>wisconsin. SHe has made seeing the kids pretty impossible. i
>live 200 miles away and i would like to look into trying to
>get custody of my one child who is 14. she desperately wants
>to live with my wife and I , but the ex has full custody. my
>first question is.. I never signed the birth certificate
>because she told me that she wasnt mine at first. she has
>changed her mind a hundred times since then. i pay child
>support for both children and have never contested this even
>though no dna test was done. if I go for custody and its found
>out that shes not mine (god forbid) do i have any rights??
>we were not married until this child was 2 years old.

To my knowledge, there is only one jurisdiction (MD) where a parent can contest paternity more than two years after a judgment was made. If you were divorced 5 years ago, and the judgment determined you were the father, then that issue is barred from future relitigation.

So, even if you're not actually the biological parent, you're the legal parent, and that's all that matters in court.

None of this has any relevance to your requesting a new custody hearing. If you want one, then you need to get the child to a therapist who will testify that the child genuinely wants to live with you and that it's in the child's best interests that the court modify custody.

A 14 year old is not generally mature enough for the court to give his/her testimony much weight, unless there are other extrinsic factors which show the child in distress as the result of the current custody orders.

In short, you need CLEAR AND CONVINCING objective evidence that the child is no longer thriving in the current environment, or the court will not consider whether you are the preferred custodial parent going forward.

[illinoisdad]

i have been divorced for about 5 years now. my ex lives in wisconsin and I live in illinois. the divorce was in wisconsin. SHe has made seeing the kids pretty impossible. i live 200 miles away and i would like to look into trying to get custody of my one child who is 14. she desperately wants to live with my wife and I , but the ex has full custody. my first question is.. I never signed the birth certificate because she told me that she wasnt mine at first. she has changed her mind a hundred times since then. i pay child support for both children and have never contested this even though no dna test was done. if I go for custody and its found out that shes not mine (god forbid) do i have any rights??
we were not married until this child was 2 years old.
 

[socrateaser]

>i have been divorced for about 5 years now. my ex lives in
>wisconsin and I live in illinois. the divorce was in
>wisconsin. SHe has made seeing the kids pretty impossible. i
>live 200 miles away and i would like to look into trying to
>get custody of my one child who is 14. she desperately wants
>to live with my wife and I , but the ex has full custody. my
>first question is.. I never signed the birth certificate
>because she told me that she wasnt mine at first. she has
>changed her mind a hundred times since then. i pay child
>support for both children and have never contested this even
>though no dna test was done. if I go for custody and its found
>out that shes not mine (god forbid) do i have any rights??
>we were not married until this child was 2 years old.

To my knowledge, there is only one jurisdiction (MD) where a parent can contest paternity more than two years after a judgment was made. If you were divorced 5 years ago, and the judgment determined you were the father, then that issue is barred from future relitigation.

So, even if you're not actually the biological parent, you're the legal parent, and that's all that matters in court.

None of this has any relevance to your requesting a new custody hearing. If you want one, then you need to get the child to a therapist who will testify that the child genuinely wants to live with you and that it's in the child's best interests that the court modify custody.

A 14 year old is not generally mature enough for the court to give his/her testimony much weight, unless there are other extrinsic factors which show the child in distress as the result of the current custody orders.

In short, you need CLEAR AND CONVINCING objective evidence that the child is no longer thriving in the current environment, or the court will not consider whether you are the preferred custodial parent going forward.

[illinoisdad]

She has a eating disorder which shes not being treated for. She has repeatedly told her mother that she doesnt sleep at night and has headaches everyday, and she hasnt taken her to the doctor. Her mother knows that the child needs counseling, but hasnt taken her. we are in the process of trying to get her to a therapist, but being 200 miles away, its up to my daughter to start  the process, but shes afraid of the ex and wont admit to her about needing counseling.

[mistoffolees]

How do you know that the mother knows that the child needs counseling and refuses to provide it? Can you prove it with letters, recordings, etc? If so, your lawyer and/or the custody evaluator would probably need that information.

[illinoisdad]

this is according to my daughter, who i know is only 14, but very mature.as far as letters, who would they be from?? i;m not sure what you're talking about

[mistoffolees]

When you talk with your attorney (or Soc), make sure you're asking what evidence is admissible and what evidence is going to carry any weight. Your arguments will depend very heavily on which ones you have the ability to prove.

[socrateaser]

>She has a eating disorder which shes not being treated for.
>She has repeatedly told her mother that she doesnt sleep at
>night and has headaches everyday, and she hasnt taken her to
>the doctor. Her mother knows that the child needs counseling,
>but hasnt taken her. we are in the process of trying to get
>her to a therapist, but being 200 miles away, its up to my
>daughter to start  the process, but shes afraid of the ex and
>wont admit to her about needing counseling.

She has an eating disorder? Does the child look "obviously" anorexic? If so, then I would call child protective services and ask them to investigate.

If the child is in the sort of distress you suggest, then you can just make a video of the child discussing her situation and use that as evidence for an emergency hearing. Obviously, a therapist's evaluation would make the evidence stronger, but if the child is complaining and not getting treatment, then that's evidence enough, as long as the child seems genuine on the tape.

Once again, if the child looks obviously anorexic then call the authorities, because that's a recognized life-threatening situation.

[illinoisdad]

no, she doesnt look anarexic. shes very tall for her age and big boned. her mother has told her shes fat her whole life. i can get the video next time i see them, but thats the problem, because i never know when that will be. question... as i said earlier i do not have custody, but youre saying that i can get an emergencey court hearing?? how do i go about this without a lawyer, and in which state. the one i live in or the one the ex lives in??