Changing to 50/50 custody

[Crockpot]

Hello.  I'm hoping to someday get at least 50/50 custody of my girls. My ex, the CP has an unstable life for my girls.  Not enough for the courts to remove them but enough that I'm concerned about them.  Sadly, at this point I'm waiting for her to do something really stupid.

They live about 40 miles away.  CP has talked about moving to a town 10 miles from where I live now.  If she doesn't, I've considered moving closer to them.  I currently have parenting time EOW and one night a week.  There are extended visits on holidays and in the summer.  

My understanding is there needs to be a change of circumstance for the courts to change a custody arrangement.  

1.  Does the change have to be in the home of the CP?
2.  Would me moving by my girls be enough to move for 50/50?

Thanks.

[mistoffolees]

Just a question - which will become important when you talk with your attorney - you state that your ex has 'an unstable life'. Is what she is doing actually harmful for the kids (and can you prove it) or is it simply something you don't like?

The difference between those two situations is huge - and will undoubtedly affect your ability to get what you want.

[Crockpot]

I think it's harmful but I don't know if the courts would.  There are numerous issues.  Since we split up (four years ago) she's had several roommates living with them, in fact they're never lived without someone else there (male and female), and has been married and divorced.  

They are constantly being sent to different babysitters house because she doesn't have stable hours at work and wears out her welcome with friends.  She sometimes brings them to work with her and lets them play in the play area while she works if she can't find someone (she works in fast food).  She smokes in the house with the kids there (youngest has chronic coughing).  She sends oldest to school and to me without gloves/hat (we live in MN).    

These are just some of the issues.  I believe CP lacks parenting skills.  I see my kids struggle to develop and not doing well in school.  I believe spending more time with me would help them.  

Thanks.  

[socrateaser]

>1.  Does the change have to be in the home of the CP?

No, but it must clearly and convincingly affect the children's best interests. This usually means some direct effect on the children which has little to do with the NCP.

>2.  Would me moving by my girls be enough to move for 50/50?

No. But, if you moved very close, and the kids began actually spending more time at your home than at the CP's, or the kids were so much happier around you that they all stated a preference to live with you (and assuming that they were "at least" 13 years old), then that might be satisfy the law.

[socrateaser]

Smoking in the house would get the court's attention if you can show that the behavior has changed since the first custody order or that the child's health is suffering or is likely to suffer, as a consequence.

It's incontrovertable that second hand smoking is bad. The trick then is to prove that the child is being routinely exposed. The only way to do it is to have a lab test done on the child when he/she's with you. If it's positive, then you have your evidence, and that could get you to a new hearing.

Your other complaints aren't worth a hill o beans by comparison.